We were married for 30 years and latterly had become quite comfortable.
When we were young I was by far the higher earner while he had a succession of really awful jobs. He always worked hard/long hours but never found a niche where he could progress . I was also much better with money and managed our finances - left to him there would have been debts, not savings .
This never bothered me. I took control of the money and he contributed in very many other ways. We were a partnership.
When DC came along he finally became much more career orientated and we became more or less equal earners. I had a period of time working PT, but still managed all the money.
By the time he died, I was back at work FT, we were earning equal again and looking forward to a comfortable retirement, which he never reached.
Since he died, I'm OK financially. I still work FT in a good job, my "household" income is obviously much reduced but I'm at a stage in life where my outgoings are low. I live well.
Initially people seemed to assume I'd be broke and wanted to help me all the time. I didn't want that, but now they all seem to assume I'm OK becuase DH left me well set up. There was some money but I've put that by for (just) adult DC when they need it. My lifestyle is entirely funded by my own income.
It never worried me if people assumed he funded our lifestyle when he was alive, but it's really getting on my nerves that people assume I'm not financially independent now.
I'm not sure why really, I'm not usually one to care what others think, but this seems like an affront to the sisterhood rather than just to me iyswim.
However, I also believe finances should be private so I'm not about to start explaining it to people. Is there a to the point way to sort this?