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Original poster

Car journey stress - is it just me?

22 replies

strandedabroad · 09/02/2023 10:42

School run is 35-minute one way. DS is 6 and in the passenger seat. Nearly 5 year old DDs in the back. They are not badly behaved as such, but they never stop talking (over each other), asking if they can have xyz (which inevitably none of us can reach), generally bickering and THE NOISE is just too much. I need to concentrate on the driving. They have toys/colouring/maths books/drinks. But they never seem to settle and enjoy the drive. If we play music I constantly have to pause/turn down to listen to the next question/complaint.

I get that they're bored, I am too. I'm trying to move closer to the school. It's only ever me doing all the driving and it gets a bit much.

Any advice to make things a bit less stressful?

OP posts:
Digestive28 · 09/02/2023 10:44

Podcast or audiobook? Some good kids podcast are about twenty mins long?

Seeline · 09/02/2023 10:45

Just ignore it.
I'd put them both in the back of the car so that I was a bit more cocooned from it.
Both mine talked non-stop, at each other over each other, at me.
If I felt I needed to be able to concentrate more - complicated junction, parking etc, I just yelled at them to be quiet because I needed to concentrate and they did.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/02/2023 10:47

My favourite game is the Quiet game... they compete to see how long they can be silent for.

Headphones and an audio book each might work as well.

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FlounderingFruitcake · 09/02/2023 10:48

Put them both in the back and turn up the music to drown them out

Original poster
strandedabroad · 09/02/2023 10:55

There's 3 of them (twin DDs in the back) and although we can fit 3 seats across the back, I feel its much worse when they're all squished together like that).

OP posts:
BlueChampagne · 09/02/2023 12:04

Audio book.
Use it as reading time (when they're older).

crackofdoom · 09/02/2023 12:08

Don't turn the radio down.

DS2 has a very sweet, quiet voice.

I can just hear his tiny piping over the sound of the radio "Muuum....muuum..."

I turn the radio down: "What is it, love?"

"Mum, what's 12x 12 ÷ 12?"

I've stopped falling for it now.

PragmaticWench · 09/02/2023 12:13

I've pulled off the road before, switched the engine off and yelled at my two for arguing, yelling, screeching etc whilst I'm driving. It's so distracting and bloody dangerous!!

I found that sitting them down and having a family discussion about it around the table helped. Away from the car. Now if they start being too loud I give them a warning, and after that I pull off the road and refuse to drive any further. If that has to happen there are also consequences at home (removal of screen time or similar).

bagelbagelbagel · 09/02/2023 12:13

Why is their school a 35 min drive away?

ValerieDoonican · 09/02/2023 12:16

Yes I used to do the stop driving thing. "Car doesn't work when you are being so noisy".

You do seem to have made a rod for your own back withthe 35mins drive with such small kids though!

Original poster
strandedabroad · 09/02/2023 12:23

Because the kids and I had to move out because of a family crisis. I'm hard to get us a place closer to their school.

OP posts:
Original poster
strandedabroad · 09/02/2023 12:23

Apologies, the previous comment was a reply to @bagelbagelbagel.

OP posts:
Original poster
strandedabroad · 09/02/2023 12:24

ValerieDoonican · 09/02/2023 12:16

Yes I used to do the stop driving thing. "Car doesn't work when you are being so noisy".

You do seem to have made a rod for your own back withthe 35mins drive with such small kids though!

I know, it's far from ideal and I'm trying to rectify this.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/02/2023 12:24

Play a game where they need to look for things out of the window. Count how many street lamps there are etc

ValerieDoonican · 09/02/2023 12:37

Ah, see it wasn't exactly a choice then @strandedabroad . Tough for you.

I used to do counting games with my sis - who sees the most christmas trees/daffodil patches/yellow cars etc but it could also be a bit shouty?

For our kids we bought DVD players that strapped on the back of the front seats. So no fidlling with as you would have on an ipad, just shut up and watch. The tech is probably rather more advanced now, but they did produce wondrous quiet. They could even watch something mildly educational

Paturday · 09/02/2023 12:37

Agh sorry OP, sounds like a nightmare!

Have you tried podcasts per PP suggestion? My kids are same age as yours and like:
Horrible Histories (bbc sounds)
everything under the sun
But Why?
Kids Fun Science Weekly

Wistful977 · 09/02/2023 12:40

My children loved folk of the faraway tree audiobooks when they were that age- you can get the books on audible. Might be worth a try? Good luck!

DomesticShortHair · 09/02/2023 12:42

bagelbagelbagel · 09/02/2023 12:13

Why is their school a 35 min drive away?

I know it’s still fairly early, but I’m happy to put a tenner on this winning Mumsnet question of the day.

Twizbe · 09/02/2023 12:42

I'm afraid I did the riot act at mine.

When my DS was younger he tried to get out of his car seat while I was driving. I pulled over and proper told him off. I later explained to him just how dangerous it was and it that moment he has to be shocked enough to know that it was not ok (I had never shouted like that before and haven't since)

We've talked lots about behaviour in the car and how both children need to be quiet. They forget sometimes, usually when I'm trying to park, and I just remind them to not speak for a moment as I need to concentrate.

OnMyWayToSenility · 09/02/2023 12:44

I just tell my children if they aren't quiet and keep asking me questions then I can't drive properly!

Please stop asking me for things as I need to concentrate on driving, driving can be dangerous when you are not able to concentrate.

Shhh

Repeat

emmathedilemma · 09/02/2023 12:48

It sounds like they might actually have too much to do and that's part of the cause of their disruption! Ultimately it's a car journey and you don't really need drinks, snacks and options for entertainment for 35minutes. Radio on or audiobook and if they don't listen nicely to it you turn it off and they look out of the window or make conversation.

purpleboy · 09/02/2023 12:55

emmathedilemma · 09/02/2023 12:48

It sounds like they might actually have too much to do and that's part of the cause of their disruption! Ultimately it's a car journey and you don't really need drinks, snacks and options for entertainment for 35minutes. Radio on or audiobook and if they don't listen nicely to it you turn it off and they look out of the window or make conversation.

Yes I was thinking this too, we do so much to entertain kids, just let them be, 35 minutes is fairly normal for our school journey and many parents manage with multiple dc. They don't need to be entertained all the time.

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