New start - new house, new school

[Peach2021]

I am newly divorced after leaving an abusive marriage. Finances are tight but I need a new start for me and DC (7 and 8).

I can prioritise their school and buy somewhere that's ok for me but not my preferred location. Or I can prioritise our home life and buy somewhere really lovely but the school option is not quite so good. Both schools are equal academically, just one has much more on offer on the extra-curricular side of things.

I can't decide whether to think about what I need most - a home in my ideal location in which I can heal - or whether to prioritise DC's needs now, knowing that in ten years' time they'll hopefully be off to college/uni and I'll be on my own. I really don't want to have to move again after this, and I'm in no hurry to find another relationship...if ever!

Thoughts?

I’d go where I could heal tbh, if the only difference is extra-curricular activities that your kids may not take to anyway. Once you feel safe and secure you may find things in your ideal area that they enjoy and in 3/4 years they’ll be more interested in their friends anyway.

I’d be wary about changing too much too soon for them. Their parents have divorced, they are moving house and then to move schools seems like a lot to me.
I’d also consider that the lack of extra-curricular activities might be an indicator of the socio-economic area.

thank you both, the temptation to run and hide is huge...but that's not what the DC need so I won't be doing it! And yes it is a lot of change, too much all at once, but circumstances mean it's hard to avoid, for example I can't afford to move and keep them at their current school, only to have to move again in a few years for secondary. I think I'm just going to have to sit tight for a few years and then move once - it'll mean new house/new school at the same time at that point, but at least it'll be a few years since the divorce, so we'll hopefully all have settled down a bit by then.

I wish you all the best OP. It’s always hard making decisions for your children but you have yourself to worry about too 💐

You really need to prioritise your health, especially if you are a single parent as you need to be strong for the long haul, and as there is so little difference in the two schools. I made the move which was best for the children and it has been incredibly hard on me and had a terrible impact on my health... which then of course affects the children.

I am utterly exhausted I must admit...I already feel guilty about what has happened, even though it wasn't my fault...so getting the next bit right is really important. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated and is helping me to see that to look after the DC I need to look after me first...@BigotSpigot is there any way you can make things better for yourself?