DS thinks he remembers being born

[sparebooks]

Walking along the road yesterday chatting to DS (4) about how his friend's mummy has had a baby pop out from her tummy.

He said "Mummy, when I popped out from your tummy all the noise hurted my ears?" I laughed and said oh do you remember it then? He was very earnest and reiterated that yes it was very noisy and his ears hurt. (Couldn't get anymore detail as he started talking about chocolate biscuits instead).

A quick google tells me that it's impossible to remember your birth. Does anyone else have DC with improbable memories / is he likely to be completely making this up..

I have very clear memories of staring at the pattern of my wallpaper in my nursery as a baby. I used to dream about it as a child and the dream continued into adulthood.

I'm always staring at the brown dots (child of the 80s) and I reach out and my fingers are really chunky and don't feel like they belong to me, and the dots blur and feel like they are coming at me.

Great thread. I don’t remember very much of when I was young never mind of being born. I’ve always wanted to do regression therapy but I’m too scared.

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that a) memories as we know them cannot be stored at that point in brain development and b) senses, especially eyesight, are also not developed- so the idea of a newborn being able to see and describe very early surroundings is a fun one but impossible.

However we do know that false memories are very common and can feel very very real. Plenty of research into it- most pertinently in the case of witnesses.

In your opinion

My friend's boy (7) once said that he remembered being in India for his 18th birthday! Kids say some strange things

I do find it fascinating and believe it is possible. The lady who can't forget anything seems to live a very sad life as every bad thing that has ever happened is still fresh.

I can remember my grandad, who died when I was 17 months old. He was big and stern and smelled of stale cigarettes. I have pictures from the time, so have no idea if my memories are genuine or not, but my dad said it is an accurate description. I have memories that I know are from before I was four as we moved and they are of the place we lived before. But I have few general childhood memory, certainly everything of cultural significance seems to have passed me by completely. I don't remember anything about pop stars or movies or politics until I was 9 or 10.

We go through the infantile amnesia stage and forget most things before we are 2-8. People from rich story telling cultures tend to remember earlier. People who grow up in houses with a deaf parent or parents can also often show greater understanding of early memories, as sign language can be used younger than verbal language to show understanding.

I think it’s possible with young children, like when they say they remember past lives. I was driving with one of my DDs to a birthday party once, she was about 3yo, it was a place I’d never been, nor her, very rural, but she sat in the back and started talking about when she lived around there with her other mummy, she said the church is just down here, seconds later we passed a church and school, she proceeded to tell me that was her school too. At first I thought she was just playing but she was serious plus there was no way she could have known about the church. Never had anything like it with my other DCs.

I love reading about stuff like this

when I was young, maybe up until I was about 7ish I used to out of nowhere just say to my mum ‘I want to go home’, sometimes I was ‘home’ and I wasn’t unhappy in any way, but my mum and auntie who would describe themselves as spiritual think I meant I wanted to go back to a previous life 😅

I have to admit though, as an adult now, there are times when I’m feeling shitty etc and I do think ‘I just want to go home’ - whatever that means!

At a similar age my niece said that she remembered being in her mummy’s tummy and that she had said ‘When I get out I am gonna give you a hug and a kiss’. It’s really common at that age to say you remember being in mummy’s tummy or being born because it helps them make sense that they were in mummy’s tummy and were born. They are old enough to realise it happens to the other babies they can see around them who are younger.

When ds was about 2 he spoke to me about his birth and said something very specific that I don't know how he could have known. It was so strange.

I was born in March 1944 and I clearly remember VE Day in May 1945. I didn’t know what it was until I described the memory to my aunt who told me that she was there with my mum (her older sister). I was wrapped in my mum’s tweed coat, buttoned in with my head poking out and mum’s arms round me from the outside. I had been taken out to see the searchlights making patterns in the sky. There were red, white and blue filters on the lenses and I remember seeing the lights criss crossing the sky.
my aunty told me that mum had wanted me to remember and kept telling me not to forget. My memories are of the scratchy tweed under my chin and the moving lights.

Thats a beautiful memory

That is absolutely horrendous. I'm so sorry that you and your family were subjected to so much abuse when you were so vulnerable.
I do hope these so called professionals realise how awful they were and are remorseful.

I believe we all know about our births and live our lives as a result. If you felt safe whilst being birthed then you may go on to trust health professionals when you birth your own children for example. If you had a birth where your mum was pinned to a bed for most part, I think that contributes to not wanting to sit still too long and perhaps a keen traveller.

Well if kids can recall earlier lifetimes, and I think some do, then I don't see any flaw in his memory. One of my grandchildren talked of being in the water and a shark bit her leg! The ' other' grown ups had to take her for treatment etc. She is a very wise little lady and swims like a mermaid!

My dh said he didn’t any more,,but as a child he remembered being all curled up in a very warm dark place. And he’s not at all a bloke given to fancies. I don’t see why it’s at all weird or unbelievable that people should remember such things.

For many years I vividly remembered my first birthday - my granny arrived while I was in the bath, and had brought me a big teddy.

My DD was in NICU and had a lumbar puncture. I just could not shake the feeling afterwards that she might be dreaming about that time. Especially the way babies whimper in their sleep. I sincerely hope that babies have no memories of that period because it's bad enough i have to remember it, i would hate for her to as well.

Not long ago I spoke to a psychologist about this, as my grandchild says he remembers being born. She said it’s possible to do so.

I’ve said since I was a child
that I remember not long after being born and my face feeling nippy cold (like when you’re in extreme cold and it stings or if someone slaps you). I also managed to describe the ward and that it was sunny which my mum confirmed was all true. They say it’s impossible but how can anyone really know when babies can’t communicate. I
alao have memories of being one which is also meant to be impossible but they’re very clear and again corroborated.

It is theoretically possible for a pre verbal memory to have been layed down that he can continue to access because of the strong sensory connection in the context of birth trauma. My Great Aunt remembers being born too because of a traumatic labour.

There are definitely things called false memories. Where you’re shown photos of things when you were a baby and told stories and then suddenly you’re telling them to others as memories. I have a few memories from when I was younger that I genuinely don’t know if they’re real or false but they are true. I used to love looking at my baby photo albums and asking questions when I was younger and we had some old silent videos as well that we used to watch. I do have so really random memories from my toddler and pre school days but that’s probably less unusual. Walking to nursery in the nail stones whilst my sister was under cover of a buggy. The hail stung. Someone at a toddler group drinking the paint water and then being sick - I then didn’t like going back to that particular place for other activities, a nursery trip to the beech where my cousin cut his foot on glass.

Yes, she is , but all my family were really early talkers.

The film limitless mentions a point where we can remember the birth and even being in the tummy but we don't use that much of our brain to remember but our brains do have that capacity and stores it. I'm quoting from a film so not sure how true but it does explain the very early memories we may have.

I know 2 children who’ve spoken of having been here before. The most dramatic (I’ve probably posted about this before) was a friend’s grandson, still under school age (relevant) who was taken with the whole family while on holiday to visit a site of Greek or Roman ruins.

As soon as they entered he said, ‘I used to live here!’ and went on happily to point out the ruins of his house, and his friend’s house (he even gave an appropriate but slightly garbled name for him), and the cave where they used to hide, and the ‘pool’ (bath) where they used to swim.
He was still unable to read, so couldn’t have read anything about it.
Needless to say, the rest of the family were seriously spooked!

When they left he said very happily, ‘Thank you for bringing me home.’

The other was a niece of 3, when an adult dd was pushing her on a swing. Out of nowhere she began talking in matter of fact tones about her daddy being very ANGRY! and the house burning down. Since my BiL is so utterly chilled, dd was perturbed and said she was sure her daddy would never be angry like that.
‘Not that daddy,’ said niece, still matter of fact. ‘I mean my other daddy, before.’

SiL is Singaporean Chinese and saw nothing odd in that, and said niece had made other mentions.
In both cases any such mentions stopped altogether after they were about 5 and they now have no such recollections at all.

When I was a young child I thought I could remember this. And I have always had a strong memory of being in one of those bouncy things that are hung from doorframes - I think I'd have been about 5-6 months. Definitely of being in my cot and the move to a big bed and being scared of falling out.

PS, one I forgot was a friend’s little nephew, who at 4 or 5 used to come out with the most extraordinary things - they wondered where on earth he could have heard or learnt them, so would ask him.
Again quite matter of fact, he’d say, ‘Oh, I learned that when I was here before.’
But again, it all stopped soon after 5.