Is it rude to tell someone (close) that a present isn't suitable?

[acrossthewaters]

So that you don't waste their money?

Had a slightly early but not premature baby, close family member sent a premature baby outfit set but it's more for babies in NICU (I.e not proper clothes, things with open sides for monitors etc) and some items are up to 3lbs and others are up to 5lbs and baby is 6lbs 8 so we can't really try and make us of them as they won't fit anyway

My husband is saying just to say thank you as it's rude to say anything else but surely it's more rude to waste someone's money on something that can never be worn? I feel like I'd rather someone tell me so I could swap it for something else.

Have checked the website it's from and I won't be able to exchange for something else without speaking to her!

I can't see how it's remotely rude to say that the outfit is too small and can it be swapped for something in the right size. People appreciate that generic baby items don't necessarily work for you.

If the relative had seen your baby in person, they would probably have wanted to do this themselves!

For me it totally depends on the person. Some people would want to know so they could change it and others would rather you just say thank you and appreciate the thought.

I'd just donate it to NICU

It sounds like the relative has misunderstood the health of the baby so from that point of view it might be kind to explain it.
You could ask whether they would rather have it back to return it or whether you should donate it.

Usually people hope for a picture of the baby in the outfit so from that point of view you will probably need to explain something

I think most present givers in this situation would prefer to know and for you to be able to swap it for something you can use.

Yes, I agree.

It depends on the person.

I would find it a bit odd if I give someone a present and they returned it to me with a “thanks but can you swap it for someone else”. Once I give a present, it’s given, I’m not expecting to do further admin afterwards.

I expect the recipient to be two faced like me and say thank you ever so much, and then never mention it again 😁

If the person asks if it was okay, or why the baby hasn’t worn it, then it’s okay to say actually it was a bit small. And then they might volunteer to change it.

I think if you gift clothes it makes sense to have a gift receipt or to have the receipt as not everything fits. Though no everyone does.
Like others say it depends on person. I think it’s fine to ask in a polite way to see. If they are fussy I’d drop it and then just donate them.

If it was a really expensive present I’d agree with you but for one small baby outfit I wouldn’t bother saying anything. Say thanks and donate it.

I would too and thank the present giver.

I bought prem clothes and some I donated and they were appreciated as most parents with prem babies weren't expecting prem babies so are caught short - others I used as my daughter's doll clothes.

I wouldn't dream of going back to person - just say thank you, it was really appreciated and then donate..
If it was me and I'd put the effort in and then got told it didn't suit I'd be upset to be honest as I'd done my best and done a nice thing and as someone has said wouldn't be wanting to deal with it again, refund etc..

Me too.

Well, thanking the giver comes as standard, really...