Just need to ramble right now as I'm feeling so bored of life.
My partner and I have been trying for a baby for some time without success. We've had tests done and found out that he has a very.low sperm count so we will need to have IVF. It's really getting me down and I have now just found out 2 of my very close friends are pregnant so it's hit me even more.
My partner seems to have just accepted what has been said and now we have stopped having sex. I've spoken to him about it and he just tries to make me feel better but then nothing happens. I've spoken to him about his results as I want to make sure he's OK and not just brushing this under the carpet but he says he's fine and what will be will be.
I feel a bit of resentment towards him at the moment because of the news and have found myself picking faults with him as a person in my head. Even though I know it's not his fault I just can't help but think why me.
I went out at the weekend for a friends birthday and got hit on a few times by different men. Even though I would never cheat it made me feel in a way better about myself and just helped me to forget for just a short while.
I was previously in a relationship for 16yrs where I was mentally abused and left to feel like I wasn't good enough so right now I'm feeling like I've been dealt this card because I'm not worth the title of 'mum'
I just feel so bored with life. I never seem to have any happy news so I just feel drained. Everyone around me is always celebrating something happy. Bored of myself because I'm fed up of feeling fed up. Just feel like I haven't got a purpose, i feel empty and each day that passes just becomes harder to feel positive - I'm not having any suicidal thoughts.