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Stop judging we are strong 💪

10 replies

Wearefamily23 · 06/02/2023 20:20

Ok so my life is not simple or easy it can be tough but im a strong person.

I have been through 2 evictions under section 21. In temporary housing for a long time . But we got there. And made the best of it. I went through this on my own with kids. During this time I done things like appeal the accommodation and area. To ensure my kids still went to the same schools. Could see their friends etc. Because I put them first. (We now have a lovely forever home)

I also have a child with autism he is so lovely.. he is 7 but younger in age. I find it hard to explain but he's awesome

A little over 2 years ago my daughter got into a DV relationship. She has a son who was 2 at the time. I think the now ex had hurt her a few times but I did not know at the time. One day he strangled her and punched her in the head several times. he would not let her get her phone. She had to talk him down she managed to get it in the end after she calmed him and called the police . He done a runner . This was all infront of her 2 year old . He was caught by police a few days later. He got 2 years in prison and is doing the full sentence due to breaking restraining order whilst in prison.

Because of the situation social services became involved DD was very hard to work with at first . It's like she wasn't getting it. It was such an awful time. a PLO was put in place . Which meant her son was at risk of bring taken away. Social services done assessments on me . Looked into all my back ground. How I was with GS how my children were with him etc . and it was decided if DD could not have her son then I would . Its all very in depth no rock unturned. So they were pleased with everything.

Thank god DD turned a corner and started seeing things more clearly. Gs is no longer under PLO. And dd seems much stronger than she was.

Dd was moved to a new home. And me/my other children were moved to a new home ( the one I mentioned above) under life in danger because of dds ex.

My school age children were given a small poster with her ex's picture . And a note saying this person is following me. He has hurt my sibling and is a danger to me. Please could you call the police . This was given to my children and given into their school.

Gs is having assessments for special needs. Which are quite complex. I have helped dd put some practical things is place to help with GS. I also often have GS over night so dd can do her own thing. I help her to get him home from school and sometimes in the mornings as well.

Although we may have our moments. We are very close. Dd tells me lots of stuff and she feels able to talk to me. It's Been a real hard couple of years. But she's getting there.

Ds who's 15 has been through a hard time as well with his mental health. Over the past year we begged for help and kept getting ignored. Even got discharged without being seen. Whilst we were waiting I put other things in place. Forms of free counselling over the phone , via emails, video calls, a drop in centre. And also a support worker for him. So I did not just sit and wait for CAMHS. I did what I could for him. Sadly a few months back ds took an overdose he was in hospital for 2 night. I honestly thought I might loose him it was awful. He was in hospital fir 2 nights. And it was only then that CAMHS took him seriously. He's now getting help.

People who don't truly know my situation or how we live, what our relationships within the family are like. How much I love all of my children how much I put them first no matter what . Even if have a moan about them. That's just me venting. I still love them . And they will always come before me.

People not in my situation often think its simple. Judge me as a parent about how shit my life is and how shit my kids life is because of me . Alot of people going through what my family has would not cope . Yet here I am doing it alone. Yet all people do is judge. Why do it ? What do people have to gain.

OP posts:
Chillininfragglerock · 06/02/2023 21:09

Its human nature OP. Dont worry about it. You won't be able to control or stop people from judging you.
If you are good with your situation then that is all that matters at the end of the day. Focus on that.

Wearefamily23 · 06/02/2023 21:30

Chillininfragglerock · 06/02/2023 21:09

Its human nature OP. Dont worry about it. You won't be able to control or stop people from judging you.
If you are good with your situation then that is all that matters at the end of the day. Focus on that.

Yes logically I get that . But sometimes it gos on to long and time to just leave it. But as you say can't control other people.

OP posts:
Wearefamily23 · 07/02/2023 09:01

Sorry long and complicated

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 07/02/2023 09:07

If I am not doing anything wrong I don't feel judged I just think people have their own opinions, I don't have to get them like they don't have to get me.

They can only judge me if I think of it that way

Wearefamily23 · 07/02/2023 10:23

WandaWonder · 07/02/2023 09:07

If I am not doing anything wrong I don't feel judged I just think people have their own opinions, I don't have to get them like they don't have to get me.

They can only judge me if I think of it that way

Yeah I get it. I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Just sometimes think just lay off

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 07/02/2023 10:28

People love to judge as it makes them feel superior about their own lives. Yet until you've been though really challenging situations yourself, you don't really know how you would cope.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job under really difficult circumstances. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Wearefamily23 · 07/02/2023 11:26

VioletCharlotte · 07/02/2023 10:28

People love to judge as it makes them feel superior about their own lives. Yet until you've been though really challenging situations yourself, you don't really know how you would cope.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job under really difficult circumstances. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Yes I have heard people do it to feel better about themselves. I don't get why though. Nothing to gain by it. And if someone is struggling why would they feel the need to feel better about themselves.

Thank you. I try my best.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 07/02/2023 11:29

People judge hectic, dramatic lives and it sounds like there's a lot going on. You're right to not care and keep doing what you're doing.

Wearefamily23 · 07/02/2023 12:26

roarfeckingroarr · 07/02/2023 11:29

People judge hectic, dramatic lives and it sounds like there's a lot going on. You're right to not care and keep doing what you're doing.

I Don't care in a way because I know I'm doing my best. But it is still hurtful.

OP posts:
Wearefamily23 · 08/02/2023 17:21

Life is actually much better than it was everything is falling into place. Dd is much better in herself. Yes there are some challenges but at least there's no DV no one is in danger or anything like that .

OP posts:
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