Anyone who had a big PPH giving birth

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How did you get over your fear and have another child? I lost a lot of blood and there was no reason/ risk factors for it. I know it increases my risk of it happening again. It really puts me off having DC2.

Honestly, It took me 11 years to work up the courage to have a second.

Luckily, age was on my side as I was 22 with my first. But the PPH and the pitiful care I received took a long time to move away from enough to do it again.

No problems that time or my third 6 years later.

I had one after my youngest. My womb ruptured and they couldn't stop it (emcs), so I lost 3.5 litres of blood. I'd had a spinal so remember the blood pressure machines going mental, the call of code red, feeling dizzy and really thirsty.

My baby died.

I got pregnant again but had an early miscarriage, then slept in DD1's room for years, so didn't have sex. I'm menopausal now.

Things can always go wrong, but you're here, you're baby is here. Of course it's scary, but everything is. Have you had counselling?

Try seeing your GP and ask if they could refer you to an obstetrician/gynaecologist to talk through your fears.

You will get extra care during your pregnancy if you do go ahead.

I had a massive pph when I had my first. It happened again with my second. The difference was that they were aware of the risk the second time, so a cannula was put into my hand as soon as I arrived at the hospital, and they had blood ready for me.

I lost 1 litre first time although probably underestimated as needed blood, and 2.2litre second time… both totally different reasons. so much went wrong both times that the blood loss wasn’t something that made me overly anxious.

I’m ttc for a 3rd and again not too worried about blood loss. I’m a midwife, so I know we put in all precautions and are hyper vigilant at trying to reduce blood loss in subsequent pregnancies

Discuss with the team what happened the first time and ask if there are things they could do to mitigate the risk second time. For me there was no definite cause- my placenta wouldn’t come away and the Dr pulled on it… and after it came away i haemorrhaged. There were retained products too so I think she left some of the placenta (even though she denied pulling, the pain was worse than childbirth).
So next baby, we had guarantees that a manual extraction would not be done unless in theatre, we had units of cross matched blood available and I had a wide bore cannula in place. And despite a 10lb 14.5 baby, no haemorrhage that time!!!

My SIL had 3 in 5 years. Her desire for more children just pushed her on (first was IVF, second 2 were naturally conceived).

The third bleed was so severe they had to give her a hysterectomy. She would have gone for a fourth if not.

What bumpy said, I had a cannula in and medicine to help clot second time round - thankfully no PPH but was very scared.

Took me 3 years to even contemplate a second one. Did you talk through your first birth? I talked to an obstetrician they reviewed my notes and decided that probably length of labour led to knackered uterine muscles.

It's grim, but they take extra care if they know you've previously had major PPH.

Bizarrely, I didn't have any fear when I thought of my PPH. I think because I was losing consciousness, I sort of didn't know what was going on and therefore didn't feel scared. So when I look back, it's not a scary memory if that makes sense. Mine also didn't have a known cause, I was anaemic, I had a tear, and the placenta took a little longer to come then they'd have liked and they said that it was probably a combination of those. In my second pregnancy I wasn't anaemic, did tear, placenta came out fine and I didn't have a PPH.

But when I had DD2, after she was born I suddenly developed that fear and where I could feel myself bleeding I kept asking the midwife to double check that the amount was ok. It was fine, and I didn't have another PPH, it was just general postpartum bleeding, but I must have asked her to check every 5 mins for about an hour as I suddenly became very worried about it.

DC1 is 7 so it has taken me a long time to consider going for a second round. I just remember feeling like I was about to die. Don’t know how I can put DH through it again. Or myself. Or risk DS growing up without me. At the same time having another child is all I can think about.

I did have a debrief. I was told there was no known reason why it happened. That worries me more - because it can’t be stopped happening next time.

The Midwife said it wasn’t - but I wonder if it was caused by the fact I’m quite small? Only 5ft and BMI of 18. DS was 7.6lbs.

I had one with my 2nd but it didn't put me off having a 3rd.

I remember at the time it was all a bit surreal having such a calm birth experience (I was on a midwifery led ward) and then the sudden commotion as the room filled with people running around. The whole time I felt like I was in really good hands and very much looked after and I made sure that the midwives were aware and it was on my notes during my next pregnancy.

Did you have a long labour? They could not be sure but think that was my cause.

The fear pf PPH is not as big as the fear of recovery like last time. Low iron for 2 years and never been the same since.

Sorry to hear of other PPH stories too

Not the answer your looking for but: I have 2 children, so far 80% of the time they argue and one is jealous of the other, only 20% of the time do they enjoy having a sibling (and that's dwindling). So my point is, you could just stick to one then you don't need to worry ! (plus 2 is twice the price! just saying.

I know I could stick to 1. DC is happy being an only. I just feel like I need another one. Or maybe it’s just wanting what I can’t have. Or shouldn’t have without putting myself in danger

@scrivette did you have a PPH with your third or was all ok?

Always difficult when you have choices. another thing I will say is if your feeling anxious wait a while, you won't enjoy a second baby if your wrecked with stress by the time it comes. Trust me first baby - not a problem - second baby - not a second to yourself

I’ve waited 7 years I don’t think I can wait much longer.

There will have been a cause for the PPH even if they haven't managed to explain that in a way that you've understood. They should be able to give you an idea about how likely that is to happen again. For example if it was bleeding because of a tear then that's quite different to bleeding because your uterus didn't contract (different in terms of prevention and in terms of the management). Your stature won't have made a bleed more likely but will have meant that the same volume of blood loss would have greater implications for you than it would in someone of bigger build.

I had massive PPH on first. Second came out very very quickly without any fuss, no PPH, no tears etc. He was a happy accident so didnt actually have to make decision to concieve.

All was okay for the third.

How much did you lose? Were you in hospital when they happened?

I had numerous PPHs but didn't hesitate having a second child. Bled during second labour (2ltrs), but if you're in hospital when it happens you'll be fine. They know what to do and will keep an eye on you.

Speak to NHS Reflections if you're worried.

@Greybeardy thank you for your explanation. Is a PPH more dangerous due to my height/ weight? (I weigh 40KG at the moment). Just trying to weigh things up. Thank you for your explanation it has been more helpful than those given by medical professionals over the years!

I had a big PPH with DS (42+2, back to back labour, failed epidural, forceps) but not with DD, 5 years later (37+1, induced with pessary and gel, natural delivery on gas and air). She was very tiny for other reasons which may have made a difference.

I lost 1.5l. It started during birth. So an APH rather than a PPH I think. I remember pushing and all the blood gushing everywhere and telling my DH that something was really wrong. Midwives seemed unconcerned until suddenly lots of people started piling into the room and people started looking panicked. All was OK in the end which should be reassuring. I just remember feeling like I was going to die and that nobody was listening to me. I had postnatal depression afterwards and I think that was a big contributory factor

I know 1.5l is a small bleed in comparison to some.

I haemorrhaged with DD1, I can remember looking over the side of the bed at blood dripping onto the floor and saying to DH someone in here is bleeding, that’s not very nice is it? I was so out of it I’d no idea it was me.
Stitched up, put to bed, baby taken to NICU, and less than 8 hours later was made to get out of bed and walk to a shower where I fainted. Hours later, possibly the next day, I woke up soaked in blood again.
Care was abysmal, I’d say it was neglectful. 3 days later I got out of bed and for the first time I though I’m not going to die. Went home that day but was very weak and a bit out of it for weeks.
DC2 born 18 months later at a different hospital. no problems at all but staff were concerned I’d lost blood, nothing like the first time, but I was given a 2 unit transfusion, wheeled to the bathroom, their care was superb. I was a different person going home from there.