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Original poster

Slowing down for a hearse?

204 replies

WrendaleCountryDogs · 06/02/2023 14:17

Growing up, my mum always slowed down when driving and a hearse was coming the opposite direction. As a result, I do the same.
Do you?? I've never seena nobody else do it.

OP posts:
MarkWithaC · 07/02/2023 18:03

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/02/2023 14:25

It used to be the done thing. I haven’t seen anyone do it lately though.

What I did see, not long ago, sitting outside a SW London pub after a covid jab, was a Victorian style horse-drawn hearse going by - black horses with black plumes on their heads, black-coated funeral staff with top hats, you name it. It was like something out of Dickens - quite a spectacle.

A neighbour/friend of mine had a funeral like that for her mum. North-east London. What a way to go!

I don't drive, but always thought people did slow down for hearses.

KatysMumJen · 07/02/2023 18:08

DuplicateUserName · 06/02/2023 14:27

This sort of funeral is still very popular in the East End of London.

My neighbour's husband had one like that 2 years ago and I agree, it's pretty breathtaking.

Show quote history

They’re beautiful, a wonderful send off.

cavalier · 07/02/2023 18:08

Yes absolutely.. why wouldn’t anybody slow down … it’s respect ?

when I walk if they go passed me I stop …
very sadly a child’s white carriage when passed and I sobbed all the way home 😢💔

masterblaster · 07/02/2023 18:10

If it is a little hearse with a little horse, I slow down so as not to scare it.

MMUmum · 07/02/2023 18:14

At my mum's funeral.last year a driver wouldn't wait at a roundabout, he pulled out and ended up.in the middle of our funeral procession🙄. Parents lived in a large village and men still doff their hats at funeral.processions

Chooksnroses · 07/02/2023 18:25

Ablababla · 06/02/2023 14:34

It’s a weird thing but my mum always used to stop and hold her collar when passing a funeral procession. I do this too now.

When we were kids and saw a hearse we'd say "Hold your collar, do not holler, Til you see a motorbike" and keep hold of the collar until we saw a motorbike...could be quite a long time in the 50s!!

ILiveInTornadoAlley · 07/02/2023 18:29

WrendaleCountryDogs · 06/02/2023 14:17

Growing up, my mum always slowed down when driving and a hearse was coming the opposite direction. As a result, I do the same.
Do you?? I've never seena nobody else do it.

I live in a Southern state in the US and I've never seen anyone not pull over and completely stop for a funeral procession.It's just normal and natural to be respectful and show respect to the deceased and their loved ones.

Anushka · 07/02/2023 18:31

I have been in 2 funeral processions in the past month and I was totally moved by the way people reacted to us, removing hats, bowing heads, cars pausing to allow the full procession to pull out on an island. I absolutely dreaded the journey but watching such kindnes and reverence shown by complete strangers amazed me.

Sennelier1 · 07/02/2023 18:33

For a funeral procession I slow down, stay behind enough so cars following the herse are not split up etc. If I'm walking I will stand still untill the procession has passed me. If a herse is driving at a regular speed (maybe even on the highway) I will not change how I drive. Then they're just doing their job transporting a deceased person from A to B before last goodbye's or church service or whatever. So not a solemn moment.

Crazycatladyy · 07/02/2023 18:35

If it's horse drawn then yes!

Bungalowlady · 07/02/2023 18:52

Several years ago it was pick up time for school. A hearse stopped at pelican crossing. Seemed right to me to not cross in front of it and held my DS hand to ensure he didn’t either. Was quite surprised how many people did though and let their kids stare and point at the car.

Newusername3kidss · 07/02/2023 18:57

yes I would slow down if safe. I also turn off music, feels wrong to be listening to it whilst a funeral procession is happening. If I’m walking I stop and bow my head.

Noodles1234 · 07/02/2023 18:59

Yes, i was taught to slow down, or if walking bow head / remove hat. All as a sign of respect.

MrsPetty · 07/02/2023 19:00

I live in Ireland. Death is taken so seriously here … we have to slow down because everyone else does me. And they all bless themselves too…

Nanny67 · 07/02/2023 19:08

ibizatithenorfolkbroads the same thing happened to me 😩 I was going round a new roundabout and was in the wrong lane and had to cut in between the two funeral cars 😩 I felt awful but did pray and say sorry 🙄

SweetPetrichor · 07/02/2023 19:10

Not if it’s coming towards me if in town, cause traffic is already slow enough to be respectful. I would slow down a bit if on a country road and there was nobody behind me cause it would feel wrong to speed past as if it was any other car. It’s not always possible to tell if it’s an in-use hearse from the front.

I would not overtake a hearse though unless it was a life or death scenario. I would probably also turn the radio off, although I couldn’t tell you why, considering it’s sound inside my little box only. Although I do tend to find myself thinking how I could be being respectful to some stranger who was actually a terrible, terrible person…that’s where my mind tends to wander. But you have to assume they are worthy of respect, or where would we be in life.

Missingpop · 07/02/2023 19:24

Yes & bow my head, always stop & give way to the hearse & funeral party too; if I’m walking always stop & bow my head I was brought up to always show respect to the dead on their final journey.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 07/02/2023 19:30

I love that so many of us stop and bow our heads for a moment, it is an old tradition that I hope remains.

It started to snow as the hearse arrived for my DM's funeral, and very quickly it became a winter wonderland trip to the crematorium. I noticed so many people stopping and bowing as we passed, even in the heavy snow, and was extremely touched. It was a beautiful journey, only marred by my (not) DSis making silly jokes.

TheAllButterBiscuit · 07/02/2023 19:40

During the drive to my grandmother’s funeral, the procession of three cars was cut into by a bright yellow car. It carried on for miles, seemingly oblivious. I hadn’t seen my mum cry about her mother dying up until that point, but she burst into tears. It upset her so much, and she talked about it a lot afterwards- it really seemed to symbolise some kind of bad omen for her. I was young at the time, and it had always stuck with me… for that reason I try very hard to act respectfully if I see a procession, and would also pull over (safely) if I got stuck in the middle of one. I don’t turn my music off though.

Mrsgreen100 · 07/02/2023 19:45

Always , and never overtaken one .
manners maketh man 😊

Bekstar · 07/02/2023 19:47

Don't slow down but do always allow right of way and try to ensure our driving doesn't affect the prosessions ability to stay together. My husband does remove his hat whether he's driving or walking and bows his head. I also bow head as passenger and my young son who is a Boy Scout always stands to attention and does a scout salute. I wouldn't slow down unless the road was clear and it been a very isolated area due to traffic.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 07/02/2023 20:12

I don’t slow down if I’m driving in the opposite direction but won’t overtake if I’m behind a funeral procession. At my sisters funeral last year the neighbours all came out and stood with heads bowed as the hearse drove away. At the roundabout a police patrol car held everyone up to allow the funeral cars to stay together which I thought was considerate of the police driver.

Boomerangs · 07/02/2023 20:15

Yes last week on 50mph dual carriageway no one overtook the hearse & 3 cars with procession in. I noticed someone went to overtake them saw the hearse so joined the traffic again. Brought a tear to be honest as it was really respectful

irisheyesaresmiling7 · 07/02/2023 20:15

If I'm driving I always either slow down or stop (depending on the traffic) for a hearse.
If I'm walking I'll stop and bow my head.
My music is turned off too.
My way of showing respect towards the family.

My mum died a couple of months ago and we were really touched to see so many people stopping if driving and stopping to bow their heads if walking.
Also my kid's friends and other people that we just kind of knew standing out to pay their respects was so touching.
To be honest it all made me cry even more and it was definitely a talking point with my family afterwards.
If it makes any difference we're in a rural community in Northern Ireland.

irisheyesaresmiling7 · 07/02/2023 20:19

JoonT · 06/02/2023 15:21

Yes, I do. And if I’m walking I stop and remove my hat. It’s sad that you even need to ask. Our world is becoming so crowded, noisy, greedy, selfish and fast-moving, that we’re losing the old world rituals and manners. (Or what I would call civilised behaviour.) It’s so sad. Pretty soon, there won’t BE any civilisation, just money and greed.

I totally agree with @Joon 🙁