Would this have annoyed you if your friend said this?

[lovelyRoses]

I've been friends with a mum from the school for 8 years. We are quite good friends or so I thought.

Recently, her dds PE bag had gone missing. I've spoke to the mum about this and me nor my dd know anything about it. She has mentioned it to me daily for the past week and I've shared her concern and said I'll keep an eye out for it.

We are on a class Watsapp group and she must have been privately messaging another friend. She accidentally posted on the class group that her dd said my dd took the bag. She knows full well that my dd has nothing to do with it and said that to me in her own words on Friday.
She deleted the post but im sure many people had chance to see it.

Now my dd looks like a thief. I replied to say my dd would not do that and have had no reply back.

Would this annoy you? My dd has gave her no reason to think it would be her. She obviously thinks my dd has the bag else she wouldn't have mentioned it.

Take a breath, this is getting a bit OTT on here.

Yes, she’s been really annoying, but if your DD had lost her bag and said it was her DD you’d probably believe your child.

Just stay cool, ask her directly if why she hadn’t told you what her DD had said, and explain calmly that her DD must be confused because your DD hasn’t brought a bag home.

I'd be really pissed off here.

FFS Julie, you know she doesn't have it, we've spoken at length about it and now you're hell bent on making my small child a social pariah? What the fuck is going on in your head that not only do you accuse her, you're doing it behind my fucking back.

Or words to that effect...

Absolutely do this.
Kids lose stuff and there's no explanation, it's never to be seen again, it happens!
I spent most of DS year 3,4,5 and 6 looking for a gorgeous hoodie he wore one non uni day. Every time we could go into school I wld search (subtly) the hooks and bag areas 😂

Well she obviously talks about you to someone else. I don't know I would want to be close friends with someone like that. Just ask her in front of everybody why she is still going on about it. I wouldn't be emailing school either.

Publicly shaming my DD and calling her a thief in a parents whats app group? I’d be very angry and I would contact the school over it, to make sure that they know that this woman has possibly created nasty rumors making rounds about your child being a thief. I wouldn’t ever speak to her again, only perhaps to make it very clear that I would not accept her spreading harmful gossip about my child and to warn her to never speak again to my DD as well.

It depends how it was said. Maybe she genuinely thinks your child accidentally took the bag.

I had a similar situation once where my friend was adamant her child hadn't got something of my son's. I had to stop mentioning it as it got awkward.
We eventually got it back a year later when it was too small!

"As you know, I pick DD up every day. If she'd had someone else's bag in her hand I would have seen it as soon as I picked her up. It is not in our house and I have no reason to lie as we don't need your child's PE stuff. So I don't want to hear any more about it, and nor should our friends have to"

It's going to be awkward today.

I'd say nothing. The bag will turn up. She'll be awkward then.

@saraclara that's is exactly my thinking too.

Funny thing is the bag is a character that my dd has zero interest in. Of all the children in the class not sure why her dd would think my dd would want the bag.

@lovelyRoses

Front her out

Make a bee line for her at the school and directly but politely say something along the lines of

"Do you really think my dd took the pe bag even though I've told you she hadn't?"
And just look her in the eye and wait for a reply.

I would also look abit exasperated at the same time.

She what she comes up with and watch her squirm.

To be fair, whoever she was texting might have asked what her daughter said about the bag. She didn't expand, say anything nasty or derogatory about your DD. I would handle this carefully, particularly if you are going to need to see her for many years to come. I imagine everyone at some point has been guilty of some sort of gossiping. Hopefully she will handle it well, with an apology.

Let us know how you get on OP

This sounds very childish snd dramatic.
Just say you don't have the bag snd ignore / distance yourself from this mum.
She sounds a bit nuts.
Other people will see this.
Don't try and argue with or embarrass her at school. You are an adult not 15.
Just stop discussing it 🤷‍♀️

Do not do this op. You would look very childish!

I wonder if your DD moved it as opposed to took it home? Maybe that is what is meant by the other child. School cloakrooms can be shockingly untidy, maybe it was moved by mistake.

This!

It won't be awkward because your dd hasn't done anything wrong, you're in the right here so hold your head high and tell her straight.
I would distance yourself majorly after this.

She'll be feeling a lot more awkward than you, to be fair. So I'd just front it out calmly. DD does not have the bag, you'd have seen it if she'd come out of school with it, and you and your friends do not want to hear any more about it.

She would no longer be a friend. That’s not the first time she’s bitched about you or your kid.

I’d coolly state when you see her that you know your DD doesn’t have it as you pick her up every day as she well knows and in future if there is a problem to bring it up with you directly.