Friends and small talk via text

[Mumofbengalcats]

Hi, had no idea what to put as the title, sorry!

I have a..I think technically more of an acquaintance, but she has made it clear in the past she wants to be "proper friends"(her words).

She's a bit socially awkward, as am I, and all that happens is she messages me on Facebook saying "hi (me), how are you? How's (whatever I've mentioned I'm doing in the past...I'm doing an online course at the moment so that gets asked about every week).

I reply, but the problem is I have absolutely no social life, I don't drive and am very short on money as I can't work due to a health condition, and I never have anything to say!

Therefore my reply is always something like "I'm fine thanks, you?", she replies she's fine as well and that's it until a week or two later when we go through the same again!

It's putting me off meeting up with her (she's suggested coffee before) as I genuinely never have anything to talk about and if she doesn't either, then I just imagine we'll be sitting in silence!

Is there anything I can do to get the conversation moving or should I just somehow stop contact, although not sure how without offending her?

Do you actually want to keep in contact with this person? If you don't have much of a social life this might be a chance to make a new friend and I think it would be shame to let that go just because you feel a little awkward.

Could you talk about a TV show you are watching or a book that you have read? It might open up a but more dialogue. Or ask her if she has seen a recent news article or her opinion on some celeb gossip.

Oh gosh, see the thought of that bores me to tears! Maybe I'm the problem...she could think I'm deathly boring!

I do want to keep in touch, we've basically been in touch (like this) for eight or so years, but the conversation has never progressed to more than what it is at the moment!

I'm not really a social 'friends' person, it's hard to explain really, but I've never been a gossipy, chat about tv kind of a person. Which is what most people seem to want to talk about.

Can you chat about your childhood, where you lived, your family, school etc?
Or go out to a boot sale and chat about the things you like on sale, an art gallery and say which paintings you'd like on your wall?

Going for a walk always works well if you haven't got a load of chat, because you can walk in companionable silence for quite a way, just enjoying what's around you with occasional comments like 'ooh, a bird!' Would that work? Or is that too boring?

What are you interested in? What’s your course about? What have you learned on it that surprised you? Or have you learned nothing new and can talk about that … ‘I was hoping for more about X but mostly it’s just been Y, so I was disappointed’

What interests does she have? What job does she do? Has she visited any places you could find out more about?

I mean - you don’t have to have any friends if you don’t want them, and she seems to be happy enough with this weird non-exchange every so often so if that’s all you want you could carry on like that. But the fact you’ve started this thread suggests you actually would like a little more social interaction - in which case the best plan is to ask her questions about her life and interests, and see if that sparks any remarks of your own.

You could also go for a walk as suggested, or if there are any free/ low cost attractions or events on near you maybe you could go together and that would generate some conversation?