How does your kid spend their time...

[LondonPsych]

When not on devices?

DD10 is addicted to gaming. It's partly because she's autistic and a particular game is a special interest. Also, because of her autism she cannot tolerate groups and hobbies that lots of kids do. She's also an only child, meaning that she doesn't have siblings to bob about with.

She likes reading and drawing. But complains about being bored after an hour or so.

I'm trying to get some ideas of things she can do that don't involve bloody screens.

Just to add - so I end up giving in to gaming because I don't know else what to do with her

Lego and Rubik's cubing spring to mind.

Making videos, practicing her dancing, playing with Lego, crafting, and she's currently doing a stretching programme online to try and learn to do the splits.

Lots of Lego (also nice if combined with listening to an audiobook if she likes stories!). At her age I used to love playmobil. You could see if she likes more grown up activities like photography? It’s a challenge though, I do understand. Sometimes I wish screens weren’t invented - for me too!!

Do you take her out: bike riding, walking, swimming?

Would it help at all to play an audiobook while she's drawing or doing other non-gaming activities?

Library?

My (also autistic) daughter likes making jewellery - nothing fancy. Usually just lots and lots of pony beads. She also likes to sort out the beads and can spend ages doing that.
She used to like getting the little wooden boxes from The Works or Hobbycraft and decorating them with stickers and colours.
She has never been a Lego building girl but does like the minifigs and will spend ages taking them apart and making her own characters.
She's basically a 'fiddler' and sorter. Likes to sort stuff out and fiddle around with it.

My son does a lot of drawing, reading and bouncing on the trampoline.

could you try some apps on an iPad that, although still screen based, might be more creative. My son has been doing stop motion videos. So before he can film them he has to plan them and then build the ‘set’ from Lego. He spends ages on them.

what about board games with you? Are there any board game versions of the games she likes?

Play on the garden
lego
play various games together; mums & dads, superheroes etc
rollerblade round the kitchen diner
build dens
tide their bikes
lego
dress up
Puzzles and jigsaws
make potions, slime, play with playdoh
Play buckaroo, crocodile dentist type games
hamma beads
put music on and dance
do Joe wicks on YouTube

Mine are 9, 5 & 3 and rarely on devices. They love playing.

Can you extend from the special intrest game. DS (also autistic) does a lot of drawings of things related to his special intrest, make his own videos about it, reads related books etc.

We also go swimming after school a couple of times a week, as it seems to fulfil a sensory need. And he's generally willing to do a bit of baking/ cooking, which we started when we were trying to widen his diet but have kept just for fun.

Reading, playing in the garden, playing the piano, dancing, playing board games, Lego, going for walks, revision, drawing, writing, meditating, exercise.

Those are what my kids do. They don't watch much TV and they don't play on consoles.

Baking
Reading
Lego
drawing
playing board games with us

Have you looked at non-group sports? Riding lessons or going for walks? Learning a new skill like photography?

Thanks all! She absolutely hates being outside 😞 we make her do a family walk each weekend but she moans the whole way through (and I ruins it, if I'm honest)

DC1 just turned 11 and is autistic and has ADHD. He plays Lego, draws, colours, plays with his hot wheels cars, goes to the park near us with friends after school or out with other friends. He also does swimming lesson once a week, goes to the trampoline park once a week and we take the kids all swimming once a week. He is limited to 30 minutes technology time a day so can play on his Nintendo. He is smart TV was removed from his room as he became obsessed with it.

DC2 is 6. He goes to after school club once a week, swimming lesson plus swimming with us. He does Lego, arts and crafts, plays with friends, homework, stories with us, playdough making, sand set and outdoor play. Also swimming with me and DH as a family. I take him to a story session and Lego club at the local library too.

Dc3 is much younger so it's probably not applicable

We take the kids on wood walks, cycling, beach trips, paddle boarding etc. We are on a great area for outdoor space though and safe residential areas

Forgot to say we do play board games with them

Lego, music practice. I’ve found inviting someone round after school and they play roblox etc. sitting together but still chatting quite successful.

Paddle boarding in the summer.

My dd 12 loves cooking and baking, she spends a lot of time doing that. Like your DD, she doesn't particularly like the outdoors. She reads a lot and does a lot of lego

School, swimming, yoga, drama class, French class, watching TV/movies, going to see their nanny and grandad where they play games or build Lego or go out, homework, going for walks (to the park usually, but not always), bike rides, roller skating, arts and crafts

Lots of drawing and painting here. One Ds loves lego the others are less bothered. Baking is usually a good activity for everyone . We try and play a family board game most weeks. Bike rides are generally a good one too. Ours love a family film night too, appreciate that it is a type of screen but it’s also nice bonding time as a family. It’s hard - mine definitely have too much screen time which makes me sad as at their age I was outside playing with friends constantly.

Oh just saw she hates the outdoors. Cooking is another good indoor activity. Baking if she likes sweet things. My mum and I used to make cards for people and we both loved doing that together.

They do swimming/martial arts and Beavers/design club too but I know you’d mentioned she wasn’t a fan of group stuff

DS10 asked to do some sewing when I banned the Xbox after a fight between him and his brother. So he got some felt and a needle and made a piece of fabric into a cylinder. Youngest will build towers over and over, we will talk about what he's doing, we also played shops. DS10 will have a play on his piano (if he gets me off it that is), youngest will then do the same when it's his turn. We watch too much TV I think. Homework has been mentioned but not started.

My son is not autistic and I think most of his friends are either but at that age they spent a lot of time gaming. That’s how children relate to each others these days. Even if they have their days full of clubs and activities they always find the time to reconnect through the Xbox, interestingly, the game they kept going back to all the time was Minecraft, pretty much like Lego.

I used to complain a lot about the screen time (and Youtube) just to realise now that he is at uni that a lot of the time I thought he was wasting was actually quite educational, he can talk about football history as well as he can discuss Australian politics or explain the physics of slalom.

The Xbox was not all playing, so many times they were just talking until late (he was the agony aunt of the group apparently), laughing or even sorting disagreements they had online or in real life.

My son is 8 and an only child. If we're at home, he WANTS to be on devices all the time but I know I need to power through his moaning... He eventually finds stuff to do like:

Creating things out of cardboard, paper, old packaging, tape etc
Lego!
Reading comics
Listening to music
Helping with some housework (well, he likes mopping at the moment and also folding socks together 😁)

Sometimes it helps if he can listen to music (he has a playlist he likes) or kids' radio/podcasts in the background while he's playing alone.

Do you think your daughter would eventually find her way to finding things to do, or would she look for your input?