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Original poster

Screen time - be honest

31 replies

freespirit333 · 04/02/2023 15:34

How much screen time do your kids get in terms of games - tablets, consoles etc? Realistically!

DS got a Switch for his 7th birthday which he loves, we’ve limited it to Friday-Sunday and occasionally a short time on a Wednesday.

He does clubs 3 week nights and one weekend (all sports or swimming ones except for Beavers) so happy he gets plenty of other activities, and he’s great at playing with Lego etc, but the weekends have gone a bit lax in terms of the switch. Not all day but a good few hours over the two days.

I had a lot of screen restrictions as a kid so have a skewed idea of what’s normal for today.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 04/02/2023 15:41

DD is 16. Including her phone time she prob has 2.5 hours a day, on average...but this goes up or down depending on what else she has going on. She manages screen time well.

My son who is 10 is a different kettle of fish and if we let him, he'd watch TV all day (he doesn't have a personal electronic device/phone) yet. He can get up to 3 hours (!) on a school day if I'm not careful. Weekends he generally has less because we are out doing things.

Tinyant · 04/02/2023 15:43

You’re gonna get the perfect mums on here who say their kid has never looked at a tv.
realistically my kids prob have too much but my mental health can be a bit shit and the screens give me a tiny little break sometimes. We do set some boundaries and they don’t have open access to it, but as long as they are getting stimulation from elsewhere throughout the day I allow a few hours on weekend days and half hour of switch after school (after any homework and chores are done)

JJJSchmidt · 04/02/2023 15:46

Dd 8 - has about 30-45 mins on an ipad on a school night, limited due to veibg at after school club and needing to do her reading etc.

Weekends, she tends to self limit so wilk watch tv, tablet or play on her switch but does other stuff too. I don't step in unless she rrslly hasn't made an effort to do anything else

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bakewellbride · 04/02/2023 15:46

Ds 4.5. Probably 1-2.5 hours broken into chunks on a non school day. More than I'd like but I have a clingy ten month old and zero family help so needs must. It's temporary.

Indiaplain · 04/02/2023 15:48

Honestly, if we are at home we are quite relaxed. DS 11 happily regulates screen time by also playing Lego/reading/chatting to us but DS 9 could game all day so I do ask him to come off if he has been on for a couple of hours straight. Realistically he probably has 5 hours per day some weekends - this is a mix of gaming, watching you tube and Netflix .

We go out every day for a walk or to the park, or swimming or something. We often see friends at the weekend. But if it's just us at home I let them use screens without too much pressure to come off.

They both go to sporty clubs in the week so I think it's ok for them to relax with screens when at home.

Stickmansmum · 04/02/2023 15:48

I suspect many parents lie about this, to themselves as well. My kids do a huge amount of sport and after school stuff but would disappear for hours and hours if they were let on a screen. We now have one Amazon fire between 4. And still they manage to hide away and do 3 hrs if we’re not careful. And we’re a very strict house! I can’t imagine people really manage to keep their kids from doing up to 5-6 hrs a day at times. In fact I know some of their friends certainly do.

I would say honestly we are failing to control screen time.

Sux2buthen · 04/02/2023 15:49

I don't worry at all, when I was little everyone flapped about how much TV was too much and it's just normal now.

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 15:52

Mine don't use tablets or play games, but they do watch TV. We have Disney + and iPlayer and they get quite a lot of use. Dc1 is plaguing me to play mine craft (Mein Kraft if you watch motherland 😂) and Fortnite, but so far we've resisted...

A little lad at the school I used to work in was telling me about the reign of terror he suffered under while studying for the 11+ "only FIVE hours X box a week"! Tv on top of that I guess. He considered that cruel and unusual punishment 😂, so I guess the norm is a good deal more than that

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 15:57

Oh actually, they occasionally get to watch dh's iPad. But that's once in a blue moon. Dc1's homework is sometimes done on an iPad as well come to think of it! So maybe an hour a week on an iPad for dc1 who is 8. Once in a blue moon for dc2 who is 5

Slowslowlavaflow · 04/02/2023 15:59

That is absolutely fine in my mind. My son gets more screen time than that, as he also does coding and programming. 4 hours on a weekend and 2 hours on a weekday, with the tablet locking itself at certain intervals to give his eyes a break, and at 8pm, for bedtime prep. This is regardless of whether it is the holidays. He has after school activities 3x a week, but weekends are for rest. He does not reach his time limit often, as we go out and spend family time together whenever we can and because of the breaks when his tablet locks itself. He will often move on to something else when this happens and will not come back to the tablet for a while. He also takes lutein for good eye health.
Try seeing if you can set a timer to limit usage and to give his eyes a break and try to get him to move on to a different activity for variety.
We also have a switch, but it is attached to the TV and we use it for family game sessions playing Just Dance, Mario Party, Nintendo Switch Sports. All are for group fun and brings us together as a family. Maybe try to make it about family fun too, to limit it being about being alone and too much screen time.

Thatsnotmybee · 04/02/2023 16:07

DS is 3 and it feels like cocomelon or cbeebies is on constantly, but it's just background noise mosty. When he's tired he sits down and watches properly.

We always go out and do something for a few hours in the morning, so I'm not too bothered.

I don't want him to have a tablet for a while yet though. At the moment he's allowed to play on the cbeebies app on my phone once in a blue moon.

Indiaplain · 04/02/2023 16:15

I don't think that screen time = bad (necessarily ) . Eg watching tik tok or mindless you tube videos isn't the same as collaborating with friends to build an intricate Minecraft world or watching a film together as a family.

hadenoughtoo · 04/02/2023 16:19

Controversial perhaps but we don't have any time limits for DS10. We have made it clear to him that for now that's ok, he does a lot of sport - 3 week nights and one weekend game plus stuff with friends in between and we are out and about plenty seeing family and friends at weekends. After school is fine, so long as homework is done first and any other free time at home at weekends is allowed. All goes off by 7/7.30 to join us for family time before bed. We have made it clear to him that the reason for the lack of restrictions is cos he's so active. If in the future he stops/reduces the sport then we will revise this. He got a phone at Christmas and this is monitored closely. Locks itself before bedtime and doesn't go to school. For now at least he's a sensible boy, I know teen years may require more limits.

Part of the need for this less strict set up though is that younger sibling has significant additional needs. And also used a tablet far too much as method of communication and calming. Gaming is an outlet for DS1 and much needed socialising at times when we aren't able to provide it.

NatalieH2220 · 04/02/2023 16:23

About an hour a day during the week. Maybe 2/3 hours a day at the weekend if we're home. 2yo gets bored after about 15 mins and will go back to playing but 5yo would probably watch longer if he could.

GreenWheat · 04/02/2023 16:30

Older DS is 13 and he has loads. He lives on devices. He is very techy and likes to spend his free time coding and building games. He pretty much never uses his phone though because all his friends communicate via the online gaming platforms. He wants to study computer science at uni and become an expert. Entirely different kettle of fish to younger DS ,who barely had any screen time because he isn't really interested.

Passportpondery · 04/02/2023 16:35

Loads, far more than anyone will say is appropriate.

DD3 and DS6 will have an iPad for 1.5-2 hours after school on a week day. They watch Netflix on it and DS does his reading and spelling practice.

Weekends can be 4+ hours sometimes on an iPad or switch. They are generally well rounded kids, do lots of activities and we often go out for the day at the weekend.

watchfulwishes · 04/02/2023 16:38

At age 7 the average weekday was nothing, bit of telly at the weekend.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 04/02/2023 16:38

Realistically about an hour a day. But we share custody of DSD and there’s not much time between school, clubs, playing, and we really don’t like excessive screen time for ourselves either as we find it has a detrimental effect on mental health. No judgement just our families experience.

RudsyFarmer · 04/02/2023 16:42

Screens weekends only. How much time over the weekend - I would say two afternoons worth!

Oopswediditagain2023 · 04/02/2023 16:48

Our 3yo probably averages an hour a day, maybe a bit less some weeks, sometimes a bit more. We also have family movie nights on the weekends. This is TV - she doesn't have an iPad. I really notice a shift in her behaviour when she has the iPad so it's banned unless it's an "emergency"!
I had unrestricted tv time and screen time as a kid and it's never done me any harm 🤣 but I think it depends what they're doing. As PP said, building a world on Minecraft with friends or learning to code is one thing, endlessly scrolling on tiktok is another. I think as well that if they're on screens at the detriment to other things, then it's an issue, but if they're still doing sport/other hobbies/lots of outdoor and social time, it's generally fine.

AWaferThinMint · 04/02/2023 16:49

I don't really limit time other than turning off devices an hour before bed. That doesn't mean they are on them non stop though. We also play games, go out, play Lego, colour, craft etc. I operate a policy of not being fussed as long as they are capable of stopping when we need them to, which they are. In fact they often choose to do something different.

Longwhiskers · 04/02/2023 17:04

8 and 5 yr old here. They both have the Amazon fire tablet and the eldest got a switch for Christmas. There is no tablet time during the week until Friday afternoon and we don’t have tv on before school. They both do Afterschool club so by the time they get home there is only really time for 30-45 mins of TV. Which I don’t mind because they’re knackered. Friday afternoons they have prob 2-3 hrs of tablet time and the eldest plays on his switch. On the weekends screen time is after lunch so about 1.30-4pm ish. The 8 yr old moans he doesn’t have enough time to improve on switch games but we don’t seem to have any extra time for him to Play in the week!

Original poster
freespirit333 · 04/02/2023 19:10

Thanks all, agree about the different types of screen time, I banned YouTube a while ago as it was definitely not the right thing for DS, he’s had enough flicking on Netflix let alone having free reign on YouTube.

He watches TV in the week after school but this is only ever an hour absolute maximum across Monday-Thursday because he has either activity clubs or after school club. And like pp said, he is tired, he needs it to unwind. He is very likely ND so I’m conscious that a school day is more effort for him than for NT children. No TV before school which I’m glad we’ve not done since lockdown because it’s not even asked for.

He does sometimes play mario kart on the switch on the tv with his little brother so that’s different too but little brother is not quite 4 so pretty rubbish and also gets funny around it (same with older DS’ kindle tablet, tech is like crack for preschoolers I swear). I will also play it with him sometimes too.

OP posts:
shmivorytower · 04/02/2023 19:37

I think the question worth asking isn’t what’s normal but what does research tell us is most appropriate for children in terms of screen time? This is a good resource: www.rcpch.ac.uk/resources/health-impacts-screen-time-guide-clinicians-parents

As you will see, it presents a very balanced view (for instance saying that negative effects of screen time are often exaggerated) with the recommendation that each family should negotiate screen time based on the needs of each individual child.

our eldest child reacts badly to screen time. We don’t know why. So, we decided to go from a medium-low screen time household to a very, very low screen time household. Children are 1,4 and 7. We don’t have any tablets, children watch tv only under exceptional circumstances (last month no watching, but month before there was some illness so middle child watched 3 hours). We use pcs educationally (going on Google classroom for example) occasionally but try and keep learning analogue.

This works for us and everybody is much happier.

SuitsYouSirS · 04/02/2023 19:57

We don’t have games consoles or iPad etc but my two watch a fair bit of tv. They have swimming, a sport, music and language lessons either on the weekend or after school and are very active, we go on walks bike rides, play sept in the garden. I have no issue with them watching tv. Don’t take note of timing really but if I was to estimate 2-3 hours a day. They watch a lot of sport included in that.

when I was a kid it was similar. No games consoles etc but watched big breakfast before school and cbbc/neighbours etc after. “I turned out ok” 😂