Coping with feeling low all the time

[germcatcher]

For a while now I have been feeling very low a lot of the time, I have become increasingly worried about things that I'd never ordinarily worry about, increasingly feeling very negative about myself, and incredibly over-sensitive. It has started to really take over my life, but to be honest I have never really experienced this before and don't quite know how to cope. There are some reasons I suppose for me feeling the way I feel:

• had my 2nd child 18m ago, very difficult pregnancy, very poor care, this has stayed with me
• after my pregnancy I was still in a lot of pain, I was fobbed off for a year with the 'it takes 9months to grow a baby it will take you longer to get back to normal' bollocks, as a result I am still in lots of pain and having to pay to see private physio regularly, stomach muscles to badly torn I may need surgery
• I have a stressful job, which I've always loved, but recently took on a great deal more responsibility, which was fine until my boss made some suggestions about how I may not be able to cope with it, minor I know, but it completely shattered my confidence at work
• my kids have had loads of illness recently, so has everyone's I know, but I've found the constant on edge wondering if the school/nursery will call each day to be so draining
• I gained loads of weight in pregnancy, I am hideous, and as a result I find it incredibly hard to even care what I look like. What is the point, even if I make an effort I will still look awful. All just thoughts I know, because I never used to feel like this at all.
• I am becoming so forgetful, everything is always chaotic, rushing around trying to sort all the stuff I have forgot to do, I put off doing the most mundane tasks until they become huge tasks then criticize myself hugely for being such an idiot all the fucking time

All of the above I should probably be able to cope with really, and yet somehow I just can't. I just wondered if people had any suggestions on how to cope with this kind of negative spiral?

I have spoken to my GP, but I don't like the idea of being on medication (because I'd genuinely forget to take it), but I am having a phone assessment next week. I'd just love to know if anyone has any practical tips for me that might change my thought process, because at the moment the only way out of this I see as just to wonder off into the distance and disappear.

I'm absolutely not undermining how low you feel but I think a lot of this is the extreme stress of being a working parent with two young children, particularly if you are not in the income bracket (ie most people) who can't afford a nanny. The stress of the constant sickness, the time off, lack of understanding from bosses etc.
I'd put money on your boss having made that comment just because you're a mum juggling a lot right now rather than the quality of work (ie did you need to leave one day to do a nursery run for a fever/vomiting). Rather than allow it to affect your confidence, get angry. Don't let these arseholes grind you down.
As for the forgetfulness/overwhelm on basic tasks - how are you sleeping? Does the 18 month old have you up loads in the night? Do you have anyone to share household tasks with eg a DH? Is he pulling his weight or expecting you to do all that house/life admin?
And are you getting any time at all to yourself? Eg not at work and not with children?
If the answer to any/all of those is no then some of how you're feeling is totally rational and the fact that you're letting things slip is because your body and mind if forcing you to rest when you need it. You need to cut yourself some slack.
As for the birth trauma/injustices, I'm really sorry to hear that. Definitely make sure you're getting as much help as you can medically

*who can afford a nanny

How are you feeling today OP?

OP I can relate to a lot of your post.
Have you had your bloods checked? Iron etc?

Can you reduce your working days if full time?

Luckily for me my children sleep really well through the night now, and are actually relatively well behaved, but at the ages they are (5 and 18m) it is very very hard work.

I work full-time over 4 days and have 1 day off with my youngest. Full-time whilst juggling 2 DCs at nursery and school again is just really bloody hard work.

I never get time to myself, in the evenings I am catching up with work, or piles or ironing, or general life admin, or getting various things that I've forgotten about or put off for days. Relentless is how I would describe my life!

I naturally take on a lot of the mental load too, which I think is a real problem.

I have had bloods checked and all ok. Though I have a lot of odd unexplained symptoms that I've developed since my second pregnancy.

I could possibly adjust my hours, but to be honest the place I'm probably happiest is I my job, which is a bit of an awful thing to say. Despite the fact that I have completely lost confidence in my ability to do any of it.

How do people cope?

OP I feel exactly the same. Although it has been going on since I started my periods about 24 yrs ago. I'm 2 months postpartum and just bought st John's wort hoping it works. My moods are definitely linked to my cycle and probably get worse after each pregnancy. I am anaemic btw and do take ferrous fumarate and take vitamin d.