Why can't I stop thinking about having a third baby?

[Wantingathird]

I'm 36, nearly 37 and have two children through IVF, they are now 3 & 4 so life has just got easy again! And suddenly all I can think about is having a third! Is this just hormones/my age/missing the baby stage?

I would have to go through IVF again, although we do have embryos frozen so wouldn't be starting from scratch but obviously there are no guarantees. We could afford it and have the space etc ... but I just didn't expect to feel like this! Would I be crazy to have another? If you felt like this and didn't have another, did it pass?

(I have name changed for this)

I don't think I've ever had no replies before ... hopeful bump 😁

I'm the same age, mine are 4 and 5 and things are getting easier although my dc have sen. I keep thinking how lovely it would be to have a third baby and then as an afterthought remembering how I don't like pregnancy, birth is awful, the baby days made me incredibly anxious and my toddlers were expert tantrumers. Also we don't really have extra space or money and DH is firmly done. I still think "oo, a baby. I could have another baby" when I see one though before a logical part of me remembers I don't really want to do it all again.

I’m the same but my youngest isn’t even 2. I keep thinking “ in a couple of years I’d like to have a third” despite knowing DH is done, we don’t have the time, our babies are notoriously bad sleepers and I get very anxious. Hence me having a pile of baby things to sell that I haven’t advertised

I was the same. I had to go through a period of grieving because my other half said definitely no.

If you have frozen embryos, have the money and have the space, why wouldn't you at least try?

I've just had my third and it's wonderful.

What does your husband think? Do you feel you could go through it physically and mentally if it either does or doesn't work?

I hate being pregnant, very sick, dislike the newborn stage etc. Have been counting down the months until both kids were on the 30 free hours! Have literally no reason to want a third (find parenting in general quite loud and stressful.) And yet a third constantly pops into my head. I'm a similar age to you, I think it's hormones, our bodies last push before we can't do it anymore.

I have never lost that feeling OP, I loved being pregnant, giving birth & breastfeeding my babies.

We stuck at two, mainly because DS2 was a very unsettled baby, the first 7mths were really tough, and I don’t think we could have gone through that again as a couple, two under two is very hard work, my late MIL was an absolute angel and helped us so much.

It could be your hormones playing tricks on you. How does your partner feel? If it is something you both want, go for it.

Good luck with whatever decision you make

What does your partner think? If you’re both really keen then go for it. If they have to be talked into it then it’s probably not the best idea.

I have an 8 and 5yr old and desperate for a 3rd. 19 cycles in and still no sign of a baby. I’m 36 and I can’t imagine life without a 3rd baby.

how does your husband feel? If you have the money and space, plus the embryos are there waiting…

I would say it may be hormones OP. The reason I say that is that over the years I've had very broody periods, and they are usually related to my DC hitting some milestone so that I think "I need another baby!" rather than for any rational reason!

Sometimes I feel like this. And then I think, do I really want to still be reading Biff, Chip and Kipper in 10 years time? And I'm miraculously cured

If you have the money and the space, why not?

My dd was the same, until a happy little ‘accident’, but says she’s definitely cured now!

Mine are 3 and 5 and I'm same age as u. I am def not thinking about another so I don't think it's ur hormones. I think that's usually when ur a little older.

I would like a third but the reality of it and going through another pregnancy and then another baby and no sleep etc. Even less time to myself, more stress another huge nursery bill, oh god no thanks!

Thank you for all your replies. DH is very much open to the idea of a third, he's not particularly pushing for it but definitely not against it. I think we just assumed we would be done at two after years of infertility and wondering if we would ever.be parents, just to have one felt like a miracle and two almost too good to be true so three was beyond what we ever imagined for ourselves.

I enjoyed being pregnant other than feeling very anxious in the early days, and I absolutely loved the newborn stage (although found it a lot trickier with two under two in a lockdown!) Going back to sleepless nights would be a bit daunting, and I'm older now so I don't know if the whole experience would be significantly tougher. I also worry about it taking so much of my time & energy away from the other two, things are great between them and we all have so much fun together I think I just worry about doing anything to jeopardise that, but on the other hand I think about how much joy another little person could bring to all of us. (And I'm giving it so much thought, but I might never even be able to get pregnant again! I don't want to sound like I think that it's a given)

Hi. I could have written your dilemma above. Same situation as you with ivf and have two kids but the idea of a third won’t go out of my head. Not going to happen naturally so it’s ivf and I feel my time is running out being nearly 36. No idea what to do either way. What did you decide and how do you feel about it now ?