Save the date etiquette?

[Wombats67]

I've never had a "save the date" before. It's for a milestone birthday in the summer.

I don't actually know if I can go, due to caring commitments, should I actually respond now?

I'd noted it but not thought about any more about it until I read another thread here just now.

it's pretty much the invitation, they are finalising the arrangements based on who responded to the save the date.

If you can't go, it would be polite to let them know - if your caring commitments mean that you'd be unlikely to be able to make any alternative dates, I would tell them so they can count you out.

No you don't need to say anything yet, at least not until you know you definitely won't be going.

Yes, respond. The date doesn't work for you, they need to know 🤷🏻‍♀️
What would be the point of waiting until they send an actual invitation to decline?

Just let them know exactly what you’ve said here, you don’t know yet. As long as you don’t accept another invitation to something else on the date you’ve been asked to save that’s fine.

Thanks. I'm a bit clueless, so appreciate the replies.

I'll drop my friend a line.

She's very social so has an entire year of stuff organised. 😁

I actually misread your op and assumed it was a wedding...
A save the date for a party is a bit OTT 😁. I wouldn't worry so much about when to decide if you can make it or not; the catering arrangements will be vastly different.

Decline now. It's important for a 50th say, lots of things to organise. Tell her now you can't go.

Call your friend and just say what you've said here.

Say you'd love to come but you've no idea if you'll be available due to caring commitments.

You could ask if there's going to be a deadline for when they really need to know numbers etc

A save the date doesn’t have a rsvp so I don't rsvp!

Maybe if it was a full day wedding invite I'd mention it next time I saw them if I couldnt go so they could invite someone else/save sending an invite.