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Original poster

My teenager's guide to doing laundry

18 replies

TheOtherBennetSister · 02/02/2023 23:45

Step 1: Reject the idea that anyone in the family can chuck a load through at any time, and everyone keeps the laundry moving. No! You wish do do your own laundry so you are not beholden to family timings or (shudder) occasionally asked to fold things that aren't yours.

Step 2: Create 6 weeks worth of laundry. With a little creativity this can easily be managed in 2 weeks.

Step 3: Wait for a cold, damp rainy day so you'll definitely have to use the tumble dryer. Washing lines are for losers. (Top tip - start doing laundry at 7pm so the tumble is the only option).

Step 4: Move laundry near washing machine.

Step 5: Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you waiting for? Nobody knows. Definitely wait some more though. The time to put it in the machine is not now.

Step 6: Okay, put a load in. Mix it all together. Dark reds go especially well with whites. Turn on the machine.

Step 7: There is no step 7. You've finished, haven't you? Go to your room and stare at all of your screens at the same time. Laundry is complete.

Step 8: At 10pm when you have been reminded 4 times, it's safe to angrily move your laundry into the tumble dryer, which you were GOING TO DO anyway. Do not under any circumstances remember to put the condenser pipe out of the window.

Step 9: Sleep until gone 12 the next day to ensure that the tumble dryer and laundry basket are not available to anyone else.

Step 10: Congratulate yourself on having done laundry! You are a strong, independent teenager and you don't need no parents telling you how to live your life.

OP posts:

Gawdimold · 02/02/2023 23:46

Omg are you in my house ?

minipie · 03/02/2023 00:35

😂

UpUpAndAwol · 03/02/2023 00:39

Love this 🤣🤣🤣

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Home improvement

SouperNoodle · 03/02/2023 00:42

😂

ArtVandalay · 03/02/2023 00:43

Why is he/she so useless?

ValBiro · 03/02/2023 00:48

Not just 6 weeks of regular laundry though, 6 weeks worth of towels, for a family of 5, but just for one teenager. And yes, in a couple of weeks or less sounds about right.

Also - see where it says 'max' on the fabric conditioner compartment? Just keep going until you can't see the word 'max' anymore. And until it spills down the sides into the other compartments, just to ensure you've definitely used enough.

SouperNoodle · 03/02/2023 00:50

ArtVandalay · 03/02/2023 00:43

Why is he/she so useless?

There's always one 🙄
Instead of insulting OP's child, just enjoy the thread. Maybe even try laughing.

Mydoghealsmyheart · 03/02/2023 00:52

I love this, OP. My DS is just the same. 😂

ShreksVibratingEar · 03/02/2023 00:56

How old is your teen? Funny if he/she is 13 but not so much at 18/19. 😬

ArtVandalay · 03/02/2023 00:57

Ok it might be amusing on a thread, but in reality, I’d just be irritated to fuck if my teens couldn’t do laundry without a big performance.

watcherintherye · 03/02/2023 00:57

Step 5: Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you waiting for? Nobody knows. Definitely wait some more though. The time to put it in the machine is not now.

Step 5 is always the biggest hurdle to completion of any household tasks my teenager attempts!

watcherintherye · 03/02/2023 01:03

ArtVandalay · 03/02/2023 00:57

Ok it might be amusing on a thread, but in reality, I’d just be irritated to fuck if my teens couldn’t do laundry without a big performance.

Teens do many, many irritating and exasperating things (unless they’re perfect MN teens, of course) and sometimes laughing about it, and some sense of camaraderie with other parents of teens, helps you cope!

Duckingella · 03/02/2023 01:03

Gatekeeping the washing machine/clothes horses/tumble dryer is a particular hobby of my 18 year old DS.

My 17 year old DD can't load the washing machine before 9pm or she'll turn into a gremlin.

My 15 year DD is unable to wash her uniform before 3pm on a Sunday despite it coming off at 3pm on a Friday as it obviously needs a 48 hours resting period.

And my 13 year old DS can't put his dirty socks into a laundry basket and I have to pull out the sofas to find them kicked off and shoved underneath.

Winning at parenting here sigh

I can't wait til they have a place of their own;I'm going to go fill their washing machines with my laundry and leave it there

Original poster

TheOtherBennetSister · 03/02/2023 01:06

ValBiro · 03/02/2023 00:48

Not just 6 weeks of regular laundry though, 6 weeks worth of towels, for a family of 5, but just for one teenager. And yes, in a couple of weeks or less sounds about right.

Oh absolutely Valbiro. Measurements are for the weak! Just glug a load in until the vibes feel right.

OP posts:

Theoldwoman · 03/02/2023 06:02

Ha ha, I enjoyed this thread very much!

WestBridgewater · 03/02/2023 06:10

Step 5: Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you waiting for? Nobody knows. Definitely wait some more though. The time to put it in the machine is not now.

Just as we would be going up to bed DS would be heading in the opposite direction with the laundry basket.

samsonthecat · 03/02/2023 06:23

OP are you in my house describing DD2?
I seem to spend my life telling her that other people need to do washing too and her stuff is in the way!

DianePemberley · 03/02/2023 06:24

Can I add step 11?

Blame everyone else when you can only find 2 pairs of your pants, despite the fact you were recently bought 2 multipacks, each containing 5 pants. Someone else must be wearing all other 8 pairs because they're not in the wash. When discussing this, be extra adamant that there is absolutely no point in tidying the bombsite, lovingly called your bedroom, to look for them. Why would they be in the mountain of fabric on the floor when you've just done your washing? It would be much easier if everyone just searched their own tidy bedrooms to look for them.

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