Ex colleague

[PinkRiceKrispies]

Left job a fortnight ago. Got on really well with a colleague there which was nice as the place itself was toxic.
Been texting a lot but she's been reluctant (it seems) to come to my house and see me. It's normally her that texts me first and so I am a bit confused.
What would you think ?

Not got a clue

I would think she is not as interested in keeping in touch as you thought she was.

It sounds like she simply doesn't want to come to your house.

Did you have much in common beyond working at the same place?

I just don't understand why she keeps texting if it's the case that she doesn't really want to stay in touch.

Staying in touch doesn't mean she has to come to your house. Why not suggest you go out for a coffee instead?

Maybe she does just feel that we only have work in common and now I'm gone, that is it.
Just feel sad about it all and confused as to why she then keeps messaging me.

It’s impossible to say. Speaking more generally though; colleagues tend to be what is known as ‘situational friends’. It’s very common to not keep in touch with ex coworkers for this reason.

Did you only ever talk about work? If so, maybe you have nothing left now that you’ve left. I hasten to add that this would not be a poor reflection on you; it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s the situation.

Some people are anxious about visiting other people's houses. Maybe suggest meeting somewhere like a café,

Why are you suggesting your house? Why not a coffee shop or pub near both of you or near where you work? 'Hi Sheila. Fancy lunch or coffee and cake at Starbucks in the next couple of weeks - love to hear how the new job is and fill you in on the Aardvaak gossip!'

My house is literally right down the road from my old workplace where she is still at. That's why I suggested her coming to my home.

We'll try a cafe instead! If she still doesn't show any sign of doing that then you'll know she was just an office friend.

It’s only two weeks. Give it time and ask her to meet at a café.

Why have you leapt from her not wanting to come to your house to her thinking you only have work in common so doesn't want to see you again?

I'd prefer to meet in a cafe - especially if you're literally right down the road. She might want to do something on more 'neutral' ground.

I just think it's easy for her to get here so maybe doesn't want to see me. Will suggest the cafe but not sure what is wrong with the house idea.

She might feel anxious about it.
I hate going to people's houses. It makes me feel trapped. A café is a neutral environment.

She might not want to come to your home because she wouldn’t want you to come to her home.

or indeed anyone to come to her home.

Suggest going for a coffee at a nearby place and if she doesn’t respond to that then you know she just doesn’t really want to keep in touch.