Our Ukrainian guest's husband has died

[essentialumbrella]

That's it really. We sponsor a Ukrainian mum with 2 young kids. Her husband died in a missile attack in Ukraine on Sunday and their home is destroyed.

We're all just devastated for her, they talked to him as often as they could, they talked about their future and going home with such hope. And now this.

Two little kids, pre-school age. My own kids are older but so close to the little ones, they're upset and scared now too. Something that felt quite far away is right on our doorstep now. How lucky are we that we've been able to distance ourselves from it until now.

I'm so angry, so hopeless. How can this invasion still be going on? How will it ever end? Where will our Ukrainian family go now? They have nowhere to go home to. I think other people they were close to in their home town have also died but she's not making a massive amount of sense right now, understandably. I can't even work out who's making arrangements for them in Ukraine or if anyone is.

There's not even a question or anything to this post, it's just going round and round in my head as I sit in my warm, safe house feeling a bit lost.

Oh, OP. That’s absolutely appalling. I’ve nothing to offer but sympathy. We don’t have anyone living with us, but lots in the mediate neighbourhood and women I help out when I can whose children joined DS’s class, but no one has lost a spouse. One lost her mother, who’d refused to leave her home.

Nothing to say really but deepest sympathy for the woman and her children and for you being part of it.

Oh God how awful. I'm so sorry.

I hope her GP is helpful in the next few days at least.

Oh gosh how utterly dreadful
I can't imagine how she feels take comfort that she and her children are safe thanks to you. As appalling as this is , it could have been far worse if they had remained

Its horrendous isn't it? I look at the news about Ukraine and wonder how on earth it can be happening. I look at dh and my adult sons and think what would be happening to them if we lived there.

But what a fantastic thing you have done op - opening your safe, loving home to a family in such need. However lost and frightened they are now, things could be so much worse for them without your help and kindness.

Deepest sympathy to your guest, my heart goes out to her, her children and you. It really is a dreadful situation.

We've heard this morning that a family member, a cousin I think, has been able to get home from the army for a few days and will deal with the immediate practicalities un Ukraine so that's a relief.

I'm going to walk the kids round to nursery in a bit and mum is going back to bed.

They moved out in November into their own little flat nearby but they're staying with us again for the next few days.

No idea what will happen with the flat either now because the husband was sending money from Ukraine to help with the rent. That's a worry for another day.

This is not about me it's about a young family who have lots their husband and dad, but what a nightmare this is going to be to sort out. There has been no official, organised support from anyone, it's all just been bits and pieces from local charities, Ukrainians already settled in the UK, the Ukrainian Church in the nearest big city to us.

Smiley face on now, I'm off to drop the kids at nursery.

That’s terrible! I’m so sorry for her and her kids and the helplessness you must feel. Perhaps see if there is a charity set up to help her and the children process what’s happened? And perhaps eventually help her adjust her plans. What a terrible situation.

How absolutely awful. Really heartbreaking. And it could have been all of them if they hadn’t been here. Thank god you took them in.

Putin should be tried as war criminal.

How awful. I'm so sorry 💔. I have Ukraine friends who are increasingly depressed about the war and worry constantly about their family still there. Like a pp said you have likely saved their lives by opening your home to them. Just be you and know you can't fix this situation.

Oh what a terrible shock for you, and beyond awful for them. I'm so sorry for their loss. War is just horrific.

Practicalities - I'm wondering how supportive or helpful your local MP might be? This is the sort of thing that needs highlighting beyond a single occurrence, there must be other Ukrainian refugees in this position and there should be much better services in place to support them.

Heartbreaking

I'm so sorry to hear this, OP. My heart goes out to your Ukrainian friends, what a terribly sad situation. I know you said it's not about you but I'm wishing you all the best too. No doubt the support you're giving your friend and her children will be invaluable to them at this very dark time.

May I ask where this was. I'm also hosting a Ukrainian family and feel worried for them. My deepest sympathies. I think you will just have to take things as they come. Remember there's only so much you can do and you also want to avoid hosting fatigue which is what I have

That's really really sad. That bastard Putin has a lot of blood on his hands. He's responsible for so much death, fear and misery and he knows what he's telling his people is lies.

I'm so sorry for their loss :(

I'm so sorry OP. It's terrible and watching the news still doesn't show the true horror. I dont have a ukrainian guest but have become 'friends' with someone in Kyiv through Instagram (a love of the same pets) and her Instagram posts and stories match up with the news, but it's so much worse hearing it from a personal point of view. My heart broke on new years eve (I didnt know what a big deal it was there) when she said she was too exhausted to cook because of the missile strikes. They didn't even have a few hours of peace before they were struck again. She hasn't seen her dad and brother for a long time because they're in Eastern Ukraine. I cant even imagine what surviving that daily must be like.
Your guest has a familiar and friendly face here. Its so hard though, when will this ever end? 😔

I'm so very sorry.