I don't know who to ask for help

[AlwaysWalkingOnEggshells]

I posted in mental health yesterday but got no replies so trying here after another episode today because it's getting worse and is a daily occurance now.

If I called the police because an angry and agressive adult who lives in my house is shouting and smashing things and I'm scared, can I tell them I just want them to remove him to give him a chance to calm down without him getting in to any trouble? If I don't want him to get arrested I just want help to de-escalate the situation, can they help with that or is that just wasting police time?

It's not a partner or husband so I can't "LTB" but any other suggestions on where to get help or what I should do would be appreciated.

Is this your child we are discussing ? Is there a problem in their life making them act out?

Perhaps you need family counselling? Can you go and stay with a family member or friend to get some respite.

If you want to call the police try 101 to discuss your options. Better to take steps now than suffer.

Adult DC 25yrs. Yes he does seem to be having some problems and is angry all the time but doesn't want to talk about it. He is self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.

I am not sure maybe adult social services or GP or drug charity and see what advise. Obviously if you are in danger then call police / get to safety.

This has some links

www.nhs.uk/live-well/addiction-support/advice-for-the-families-of-drug-users/

If you call the police he will likely be assessed by a mental health professional. He may be taken to a 136 suite to be assessed.i know you don't want him to be arrested but he is scaring you and smashing up your things. He does need help.

I realise that you don't want to hear this. It's your child. I get that. But your child is an adult and is threatening you in such a way as to leave you in fear. You should not be enabling this. It doesn't help them and it didn't help you. If you call the police once yes they might remove him for a period. But what about next time? And the next? The police cannot manage this for you. Harsh though it may be, for both your sakes you need professional help and that may be best if the child moves out or is made to. That didn't make you an uncaring parent. But nobody can or should live like this. Speak to your GP and also to Women's Aid or similar. They don't just help with partners / spouses.

Abusive, controlling or violent behaviour by a close family member (including child over 16 towards a parent) is now included in the legal definition of domestic abuse. Anyone you would ask for help within an abusive romantic relationship will also help you in this situation without question (police, women's aid, any other charity).

I don't want to ask womens aid etc for help as he's not violent towards me so I'm not in any danger. I've only been physically harmed accidentally for example I was hit by flying glass when he threw his phone at a mirror I was standing near.

He can't afford to move out as he's not currently working so I can't just kick him out with nowhere to go but I can't go on like this.

Is he your child. Is this the first time ?

Did this with a sibling, called the police who came and said as the sibling doesn't pay rent etc they have to leave as the parent (home owner) is asking them too and if they refuse they can be arrested for breaching the peace.

I think you need to be cruel to be kind, and get him removed by the police.
They will take whatever next steps they deem appropriate.