ADHD Medication effect waned after the first 2 days

[Return2thebasic]

DS started Madikinet Saturday. Huge change in terms of behaviour. It was almost like the entire person suddenly matured 3 years.

We always say he's like a 6-7 years old with his extremely hyper activities and can't stop cracking silly joke and make constant moves.

But after the med on Saturday and on Sunday, both days he had not big emotions like over-reacting to things. Things he didn't like, e.g. doing English homework or eating food that he usually hates, were taken without much fuss. He did comment, "Oh, I hate this!" but half jokingly. Then he just got on with it. It was SHOCKING for me to see it. Both days too!

He usually plays really physical games with DS2 4yo, like chasing inside the lounge or jumping off the sofa. But both days, he showed no interest in this sort of activities.

He was still making lots of careless mistakes in his work, but he was able to think about what he needed to do as routine (each steps) without having to be reminded and he was able to listen (hear) relatively well.

But by Monday, we could see the effect waning. Tuesday evening, he restarted playing really wild games in the lounge with his brother and had again to be reminded about each step of routine. And today he became as silly as usual and had his meltdown again just because he needed to write a piece of descriptive writing to hand in as homework.

I read each child is different and the body of some may learned to destroy the medical compound, hence the need for increasing doses.

May I ask if any of you have had similar experiences? And how did your experience evolve? Did your child manage to find the right dosage to sustain or not?

@Return2thebasic

sorry for the delay - on adjustments, my DS now has an EHCP ( he is combined ADHD) so has some simple adjustments such as a TA breaking down the lesson into bullets and teaching him how to do this. In lessons and exams he gets given it in chunks - otherwise he loses focus and can ( weirdly to me!) sort of jump in in the middle, or is thinking about the question over the page when he should be focussing on the question in front of him.

On telling your DS - I can only say that my DS found it helpful to know. He understood at some level he was a bit different. We kept it pretty light, and he seems has just accepted it - for him I think it’s been helpful as it’s made him feel less like he is stupid/naughty ( which was often the narrative at school)because he can’t always focus and sometimes calls out. He sounds more overtly impacted than your son - but for him I think ( hope!) finding out when young possibly makes it easier to accept.

I also wanted to say please try not to panic and catastrophise about medication not working for him. You really are just at the start of this journey. My DS took longer as he was one of the 25% for whom methylphenidates don’t work but lisdexamfetamine does. Also we struggled as school wasn’t particularly helpful in engaging with us in measuring the impact of any medication.

Personally I’d continue to work with your paediatrician - I would be wary of adding a load of supplements at the same time. Apart from anything else you’d be adding a lot of tablets for your son to take when you are wanting him to be positive about the ADHD medication. Some vitamins can also themself cause mild side effects. I do understand as I felt desperate when I thought the meds were working but we did eventually get there!

There's no need to apologise for the rambling… it's important for you and your family that you to have space where you can sort out and untangle from each other:

your feelings about your ADHD, your diagnosis and your past and future;
your feelings about your son's ADHD, his diagnosis and his future;
your thoughts on his potential feelings about and reactions to his ADHD and his diagnosis…

and that's before even bringing in your DH's feelings about your and your son's ADHD and diagnoses.

Do you have access to anywhere you can talk through complex stuff like this with someone who's qualified to help people understand and manage their thoughts and feelings about complex situations — a counsellor, a psychologist, someone connected with your son's care, maybe even support groups (maybe something like parent groups or ADHD groups) or relevant helplines?

Good luck with the meds — it sounds like it's going to be a pretty full-on year.

”But apart from DH being very sure the right thing is to hold it back till later, I can't bring myself to let him feel the powerlessness and grief that I feel.”

my love you won’t tell him that , you can’t !!
The trick is how you present stuff like this - same when you work with someone useless, do you tell him he’s hopeless ? 😆

present it nice and positive, present it as a gift!! Hyperfocus is an absolute gift! Not many people have this, it translates into energy, enthusiasm, it’s unique ! I’m an IT consultant this gift has made me so good at my job , I have some of the best clients in the industry! And our DSs are extremely capable of this!!

yes granted there are some little things to address, and with the right medication you ll nail that too like my son did!

I totally get how you’re feeling for yourself and again there are ways to address it, it just needs us to make effort !

we are absolutely amazing, channeling the gift in the right way, makes us way more successful than you’d think! don’t feel crap about it !!!!!

sending love xxxx

I really do understand that you have a lot of grief attached to your own diagnosis and you can’t help but project that onto your son. I am nervous about the fallout from my upcoming assessment. Although I have self-diagnosed for a few years, I still think having it confirmed will be a huge blow, and I don’t know how I will proceed from there.

@Jellycats4life what are you concerns if you don’t mind

I think grief often comes from all the missed opportunities, all the times we've beat ourselves up about not being good enough, questioning what we might of had if we had known and been able to get treatment or coaching earlier.

Your son doesn't have these burdens yet and you'll be able to teach him ways to work round his symptoms with coaching and reduce others through medication so he may never have that experience that? You don't have to do it alone, you have professionals help so you don't necessarily need to feel proud of your own accomplishments as a start.

Out of interest why did you initially decide against medication yourself? I've found the emotional lows and meltdowns I used to get reduced a LOT once I started and maybe it'll make you feel better about the whole process? Its not a miracle - I wouldn't say I've shot up the career ladder or become miraculously better at everything but I don't feel as bad about where I am.

@Dontknownow86 I love your post 😍

I think for me it will be the regret. I’ve spent my entire life knowing that I was different and not understanding why. All I did was blame myself for being too weird and socially awkward. @Dontknownow86 has summed it up really well: it’s the missed opportunities, wondering what might have been if only I’d known decades ago. It’s a heavy burden.

Yes I see…. But now that you know (or when you ll officially know) there will be soooooooo many opportunities!!

at least that’s how I see it for me 😂

world now very neurodiverse ; people who have the pleasure to live with us, have a very interesting life 😉tbh I wouldn’t have it otherwise

but i absolutely appreciate how you feel, and I absolutely empathise.. just offering a different perspective 😍

really hope it works out for you x

Thank you all for the great discussion about grief and loss after diagnosis. Yes, it's probably exclusive to newly diagnosed grownups. I do realise now that children might have an entire different set of feeling if we're discovered earlier and being well supported.

Thanks to one of you pointing out that it's wiser to keep it light, instead of my intention of a sit-down big talk. They'd take the former way much better. I can imagine DS will at certain stage ask me what this medicine he's having really does. I think I'm better prepared to face that now...

On the personal experience side, I think I had lots of dreams when I was young and at my age now, looking back I realise the dreams are all behind and with the status quo, I can barely change much in terms of all the struggles and anxiety. To answer you, @Dontknownow86 , I was still hoping to TTC for another child, hence declined the med offered at the diagnosis. I might be able to start medication finally this spring. Obviously, nobody knows if it would work out or not and how much it can do for me. But at my age, I doubt it can bring any dramatic change in life. Those dreams I care are mostly behind now. Kids first, that's women's fate.

@LoveMyADHD , you are a lovely person. I wish I could love my ADHD more than I do now. But obviously if you have achieved more in life, it's easier to be content with who you are. I'm really happy for you (at least some ADHD could prove a successful life is possible). But in my case, I feel more of the incapability it brought. I can't even bloody manage to stop being anxious when I talk to people because I constantly fear that I'd mess it up one way or another!

@Jellycats4life , good luck with the assessment. Regardless what I said above, you+I+we all know that ADHD does bring us strengths that others don't have. The old I get, the more I realise each person has a story and that story may not be an easy one to tell. Just focus on ourselves, what we can do and keep trying to make life better. 💐💐💐

The older I get...

Sorry, always full of grammar and spelling mistakes! The mind is too fast!!!

Haha I love your mind!! And it’s exactly the same as mine 😉

I get your anxiety because I had it too… I just made a conscious decision to not care, and I love the results

you might have to think consciously “what’s the worst that can happen?”

i bet you have some really special quality due to your adhd, perhaps identify it and use it more?