You're welcome. It took me many attempts and many Day 1s to quit, so you can do it. Ref moderating, I quit for 18 months once and then thought "I have this beat, I can moderate now" and I started drinking again. Within 6 months I was back to my old drinking patterns, so I realised that for me, moderating was not possible.
Regards holidays, I've been there, especially when there's "free" drink on an all inclusive. I've ended up drinking until I became dehydrated and suffering from sunstroke and had to stay in bed the next day(s) and I've obviously drunk until I've become an embarrassment and / or stroppy. Looking back, I missed so much because of the drink.
I've been on holidays since (including all inclusive cruises) and I've not drunk alcohol and you know what, it's so much better. You have so much more time and energy and you notice more and do more. I was getting up and running round the deck as dawn came up rather than groaning in bed until midday. I was in the pool, I was on the excursions. I did loads and I can remember it all and none of it makes me cringe (well, maybe some of the pictures of me in the pool, but I digress ). I much much prefer holidays sober and didn't think that would ever be a thing (same with Christmas).
I've found that soft drinks taste so much nicer and I no longer get to that point in the evening where I realise mid sentence that my brain has shut down and I'm talking slurry garbage.. Loudly. I am getting on a bit so I need all the help I can get these days and on the health front, not drinking has made a huge difference. And you can keep hangovers. I used to get bloody awful ones where I'd just lie there all day wishing I was dead.
If it helps, I drank to excess (up to 7 nights a week) including to blackout levels from the age of 18 to 46. I came from a family who drank heavily and I joined the military and discovered it. Everyone I knew drank heavily and I thought the amount I drank was normal (though I obviously knew it was above those "ludicrous" guidelines that "no one" sticks to). I was very addicted to the point where I had the shakes. During my drinking days I did the odd dry January to "prove" to myself that I didn't have a problem, but I now know that anyone can white knuckle it for a month. I was kidding myself.
Alcohol is a very very addictive drug and the ethanol in it damages every organ in the body and it is carcinogenic (I've now reached an age where that word is no longer dismissed with a laugh). I used to joke "well, you've got to die of something, so you might as well die of something you enjoy" when drinking, thinking I was indestructible. I didn't realise the insidious damage it was doing to my body and more importantly my brain.
I found the book "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" by Allen Carr (I think that's the books name) to help. I thought it was garbage on when I read it, but I've never really drunk since so I think it made a difference, but in the end it was realising I had a problem and I couldn't moderate and that each time I failed, I would start again. I had so many Day Ones.
Oh and I was a high functioning alcoholic. No one knew, not even myself. I could quit for a week or so. I had a well paying job and lots of friends and went to the gym and all that normal stuff. But the alcohol was always there. No holiday or event passed without it. No "problem" wasn't drowned but it (rather than dealt with) and so much of life was missed and so many stupid things were done or said.
Good luck with whatever you want your drinking to become. I helped people with addictions for a long time, so I know how hard it is and I know all about the little voice that is saying to you "you're not like them, you don't have a real problem, you could quit anytime you want" as you read this. Don't listen to it. That little voice is your addiction. So is "you can have just one and stop" and "I can never really stop, so what's the point?".
If you want to stop you can. It's hard (alcohol is more addictive than heroin, and for those dependent on it, more dangerous to quit) but it's worth it. Trust me on that. I've been there. It took me about three years of trying to quit before it finally stuck. The little voice is still there in me but I know it's a liar and these days it knows it's wasting it's breath so doesn't bother, but it's always looking for a chance. Don't forget HALTT. Don't let yourself become Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Thirsty as they will weaken your resolve and if you're all of them, then you're almost certain to reach for a drink.
Like I say, good luck. Life after alcohol is better. I've never met anyone who quit and regrets it. I certainly don't. I just regret taking so damned long. Ah well.