Baby won't sleep, mentally so broken

[bakewellbride]

Anyone else?

Dd is ten months. I've been in her room since about 1:50am trying to get her back to sleep.

There is nothing wrong with her- not teething etc.

She is relentless. She pulls my hair. Sometimes she cries when I shower or brush my teeth so I can't even use those times as guaranteed times to switch off even for ten mins. I'm basically constantly on edge.

I cry so much. I don't know what to do. I'm just so drained by it all and exhausted. I'm not coping at all.

Is there anything that helps? Immediate things like would she go to sleep if you took her in your bed? Will she be rocked to sleep in a buggy. Times like this, sleep is sleep and one night isn't going to make any rods for your own back.

Longer term, the only thing that helped mine sleep and settle back to sleep was a pretty strict routine, which I know most people disagree with but routine saved my sanity.

She also typically wakes 4-5 times per eve so can never relax.

She normally naps pretty well but yesterday was a bad day abd she even fought that. Instead of her usual a.m and p.m decent cot naps she had a total of 1/2 hour in the cot and that was it so I truly do feel like there's no release.

Even as I type this she's starting to look annoyed at me. I need to mentally prepare myself for more crying / hair pulling. It is torture to be though. I just don't want to pick her up as awful as that sounds. I cry so much. I can't cope. I hate it.

Zero family support.

Oh I remember my eldest was like this and I felt so alone. I remember googling 'can you die from lack of sleep?'

I don't have any magic fixes unfortunately other than to say once I accepted it I felt better. I know that sounds weird but I spent so much energy being anxious and annoyed about it that it made it worse.

Also just do whatever you need to do don't worry about rods for your own back nonsense

I probably worded that badly - apologies. I don't think anything makes a rod for your back, I meant in terms of anything you do tonight to make it easier won't affect things long term.

Are you a single parent? Or do you have DP/DH who could help?

Currently in exactly same position OP. 9 mo dd been awake since 2.15, screaming 😱 I've tried absolutely everything to get her to sleep in her own bed, all advice from HV, friends, google... No results. No advice, just hugs, its absolutely soul destroying!

If you don’t want her in your bed what about a baby swing?

Don’t pick her up - this sounds like one of those moment you need to walk away for 10 minutes for both of your sakes. If she’s clean, fed and warm, please pop her down with some white noise on and go to a different room for a short break. I did this with DD once or twice, it doesn’t make you a bad mum just one who has reached her limit. You both sound over tired - can I suggest that from tomorrow you take her into a dark (aka pitch black) room a few times a day. Then sshhh and rock her until she calms down (even if she starts off screaming, just stick it out). This method saved my sanity with DD, after a week or so she would just drop off within 10 minutes of going into the room - it was like magic. Good luck x

Mine is only a few weeks old but posted the other day as the lack of sleep has done me already. I don’t have anything to add but I know I feel a bit of moral support from others posting at these hours and it feels less lonely, so wanted to let you know there’s others out here with their LO’s feeling your pain. Hope you get some rest eventually x

Me too! Think me and my dd slept about 15 minutes last night 🤣 having a slightly better night tonight but still up….

As long as she is safe in her cot , leave her & go to your bed . I know that sounds easy & even cruel, but she is safe & you don’t lose your sanity & even temper . Best wishes.

No decent advice OP, just solidarity. You WILL get through this, somehow.

Mine (and I only had 1 child, partly for this reason) didn't sleep through 'til 18 months (sorry, I hope you have far better luck).

You're right, it is sheer torture. As soon as they actually DO fall asleep, you can't sleep yourself because you're just waiting for that crying again.

Is there ANYONE at all who can relieve you for a few hours? If I lived near you I'd do it!

Hugs, it's bloody destroying. XX

Separation anxiety is at its worst around 9m, it's partly the reason for the 8-10m sleep regression. It sounds like you're experiencing this at the moment. It is really tough. I find it helpful to know that it's normal and developmental - nothing that I did caused it, and baby is not 'broken'. It will get better but will likely take a little time. As pp have said, grab support wherever you can get it

I hope you get some sleep tonight. I remember it well.

One night, I moved the cot next to the sofa and left DS screaming in it whilst I lay down on the sofa. I was so tired I dared not pick him up - as you're told never to fall asleep whilst holding the baby on the sofa. Later that night, I woke up, he was doing that awful shuddering, sobbing breathing they do if the fall asleep whilst crying. I fell asleep whilst he was screaming less than 1m from me, I was that tired. We both survived. You will get through this it.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for all the support / words of wisdom. I think she's just going through separation anxiety. Today has been tough and I'm not optimistic about the night ahead but I've got dh off work for a bit now and he's brilliant so at least I'll have support.

Thanks again x