BF's husband in debt - would you tell her?

[Mammyofonlyone]

Just that. There is a bit of context but, in short, if your BF had been left in debt by an ex partner and then you discovered her current husband had run up tens of thousands in debts in one month, would you a) keep out of their private affairs or b) tell her what you know with a view to damage limitation?

Thanks everyone I am going to go with my gut and tell her tomorrow

Tell your friend quickly. I think the quicker they act the less they might lose.

Tell her ASAP, the longer you leave it the more money he's going to be pissing away

I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell her

For anyone following still, he told her about the debt this morning, only he lied about the amount. I have been with her all day whilst he is at work and told her the full amount, with a view to trying to help her make a plan.

She messaged him whilst I was at her house to say she knew he had lied about the actual amount and told him honesty is key now. He said he agreed and we 'think' he has told her the full amount he owes. She is getting him to show her the full crypto account this evening so she can see money going in and coming out.

However, since arriving home he has messaged DH to ask if he can get any of his mates to/we can lend him money to give a hacker to get his money back.

DH told him that this isn't going to happen and that he needs to stop and be honest with BF.

I honestly think that he is dillusional at this point. If anyone has any advice as to how to handle it, I would love to be able to pass it on to my BF. Thank you

That's exactly what I have done @Travelfan2021. I just can't believe he is doing this. I am actually questioning his mental state atm

It's probably the same person that scammed him of all his money in the first place, that is now promising to get it all back for him.

I think you did the right thing in telling her and all you can do it try and support her as best you can, because it doesn't sound like this is going to end well.

Is he a gambling addict or does he have other issues with substance misuse at all?