Soft markers and anxiety

[EmmaGNz]

Hi everyone. I’m just after some advise and opinions . My husband and I struggled for years to conceive. He is 50 and I am 35. After 5 rounds of letrozole we finally conceived our miracle. Since then I feel like it’s been bad news after bad news. Firstly at 16 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Just managed to get my head around that and started to feel great and look forward ! Last week at our 20week scan they found a soft marker ( shortened nasal bone ) on our wee boy making it a higher chance he has Down’s syndrome . My husband didn’t want to proceed with the amniocentesis because of the risks and he thinks the chance we we were given 1-270 chance is ok and whatever the outcome we are keeping our boy. I’m struggling to stay positive and enjoy my pregnancy. I’m in a constant state of fear and Anxiety. Has anyone else experienced this ? Mainly soft markers and anxiety? Thank you for taking the time to read.

Look I'm going to go against the grain but honestly I would have the amino done.

My first darling boy was born still. I went on to have a healthy DD and my second son and he had the odds of 1:4 for Edward's syndrome. Since the life expectancy is very different from downs you may say if he has downs it doesn't matter but I would argue it does.

If he does have downs and you decide to go through with the pregnancy forward is forarmed.

Thankfully my son doesn't have Edward (confirmed via amino) but he did have a v serious heart condition that since we had had the amino and various heart checks was picked up in utero so managed his condition as soon as he got here. If it had been a surprise I don't know if he would have made it.

The wait for the results left like years. Bloody years. But there peace of mind helped me know there battle I was facing.

And let me tell you having your first baby is like going to war, you won't win if you have your eyes shut going lakala. It's amazing but brutal I'm so many ways.

It's your body, do the amino if you want to, the risks are really v low (obviously not 0) but in our case it saved a life not risked it. Not that at the time I wasn't bricking myself.

The amino will tell you defiantly yes or no. I believe there's a test called the harmony test that also pretty definitive and that's just blood work but nhs won't do it and you have to pay for it privately. It's not peanuts either.

No matter what you chose, the deck is already so to speak stacked. It won't do you any good not looking at your hand and playing blind.

Good luck and ps GB sucks arse but pretty common. Don't beat yourself up here. Your doing a good job. It will be worth it in the end.

And if your wondering if the worrying about the baby will go away. It doesn't and they have the audacity to leave the womb and venture out into the world. So the worry changes rather than vanishes.

But you aren't alone if it helps. Mums worrying about their babies/children/adult children keeps the word spinning.

I hope whatever the outcome you fine peace 💐

I had the same soft marker.
We decided no further tests due partly to previous mc and infertility.
However we had a very thorough 20 wk scan and bloods didn't show a shortened risk.
Our other reason for not pursuing further testing was that no further markers or issues were present. We decided that if our son had DS then they would be unlikely to have other associated health risks.
My pregnancy was very stressful and tbh I regretted having the soft marker test at all. This was done a long time ago when the connection was still being researched.
I would advise you to get as much impartial info as you can.

Forgot to add that my son was born without DS.
I really feel for you. I was so envious of the pregnant women who were able to just relax and enjoy their pregnancy.
I ended up very depressed and developed serious anxiety issues.
Make sure you communicate how you feel and get independent support.

Did your boy end up having DS?

Could you pm me ?

I wouldn’t set too much store by the soft markers. My DD had no soft markers for DS - in fact, the woman who did my 20-week scan remarked on her nice nasal bone and long femurs - but she was born with DS, multiple major heart defects and the world’s tiniest little nose.
In your position, I’d get the NIPT (Harmony) test and then, depending on the result, make a decision about whether to have an amnio.
If those tests show your baby’s likely to have DS and you proceed with the pregnancy, you should be able
to get specialist scans to check their heart.

Get the harmony test. It is excellent and no risk. I had it with my twins and was so impressed by how thorough and well handled it was. I did it at the fetal medicine clinic on Harley street