I am tired of seeking validation from men I barely know 😔

[Lonelyheart2]

Just want to get some things off my chest. As the title says really: I let men who don’t give a shit about me, control how I feel about myself / how I feel generally.

Yet I crave attention and validation from these men. I find it hard to cut them off.

I am just tired of doing this and it makes
me overthink everything. I am trying to work on myself to stop doing this, but I am a work in progress and it’s draining. I am 30 soon and I just want to meet an honest, genuine man and sometimes it feels like this is going to be impossible!

Being aware that you’re doing it is half the battle, so well done for getting that far. I’m late 40s and only just working that out!

How is the rest of your life? Are you happy with your work, home, friends etc? I think the other half the battle is to make sure your life is fulfilling in all other ways. I’m finally feeling confident in my career, have a small but supportive group of like minded friends, and I realise how small my world becomes when I put a man at the centre of it. Maybe look at one of those spider web graphs where you plot your happiness in various areas of your life so that you can see what else needs your attention as well as your love life.

@ItsAnOrgasmNotAFabergeEgg thank you for your reply.

I think the reason why I give so much headspace to men is because I am unhappy with other aspects of my life. I have some great friends but I really dislike my job and actually the field I work in, and constantly end up comparing myself with them. A lot if my friends are also in relationships / getting married etc.

The most important relationship is the one with u sounds cringeworthy,but it's true. I keep telling my pupils we need to engage or inner cheer leader more than our inner critic. I genuinely believe this. I say this as simeine who was 10 stone plus over weight for 20 years. In all this time the thing that made me unhappy was not me,the weight or the lack of romance,but my excessive work load and poor work life balance. I have always felt ok about me. It can be done. There are decent men out there. I think when we feel.better about ourselves we have a better chance at successful relationships, whether platonic or romantic. It is good to know our inherent value. We often think that everyone else is having a better life,but believe me this is rarely the case. Invest in you. It is a life long investment that will bring dividends. Can you do anything about your job? I realised I.liked my job but dud not like the excessive amount of work, so rather than changing job I have dropped a day. At 53 I am older than you. I.am currently single living through the trauma of the death of a partner through suicide but still know that if j decide to do OLD again I know what I will be lookin for abd red flags to avoid. When you have yiur own well being at ur core and you meet someone who thinks you are the mutt' s nuts(as I believe we all deserve,and as I did in my 2nd relationship at 50) and values you it is an intoxicating cocktail that I wish could be prescribed to all. Good luck. Hand hold