In need of support and motivation...

[Maya112]

Hi everyone. I've been a silent reader on mumsnet for around 10 years now, ever since I've had my first child. I've only just decided to register myself on here.

I've been through alot in the past years, but I don't want to ramble on too much. Today I was told I'm a negative person and the kind that can't help themselves and that hit me hard and made me think.

I decided to end things with my husband as I don't want to be an emotional burden on anyone. If ppl can't be there for me in bad times then there's no point, the way I see it.

I come from a very toxic family that is always putting me down, alot of jealousy, even when I'm patient and try to brush things off they continue with their pure evilness. I've not had much contact with them for the last 3weeks so this was a great start finally.

I've got myself a new haircut and started reading books, making changes step by step. What more can I do to help myself?

Sounds like you have made a good start!
what do you love to do? Do you have any goals for yourself? Do you like yourself?
how old are your children?

I love walking and avoid using the car whenever possible. Although these days I'm finding it hard to even do that. I would love to join the gym again, I find it helps clear the mind and keeps me fit.

I have no goals in life. My mistake was always putting others before myself.

I like myself as a person, but appearance wise I have no confidence or self esteem. I feel I've let myself go over the years. I'm 39 years old, get mistaken for 27, but feel 60 on the inside 🙄

I have a daughter who is 10 years old and a son who is 8 years old, both a joy to be with and my happiness.

Oh, I forgot to add I starting making some silent vlogs on YouTube which I enjoyed creating.