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Original poster

Am I being irrational? (Social services)

20 replies

Worriedopp · 30/01/2023 14:18

I had a baby in December and my mum is quite full on with supporting me. She noticed I hadn’t done the recycling properly and took it upon herself to go through it, in doing so she noticed the bin was cracked on one side. She then called the council to say I was on my own and not doing so well so she was calling on my behalf…and could someone come out to replace the bin as it was cracked.

im panicking now that they will refer this to social services as she specifically said im not coping (I am!!). I have anxiety and can’t stop thinking about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedopp · 30/01/2023 14:18

(I’m a lone parent)

OP posts:
boingboingboingboing · 30/01/2023 14:23

Absolutely do not worry.
This is your anxiety talking to you and not coming from a logical place.
The council and employees are frantically busy, SS are stretched beyond capacity and they don't have the resources, time or inclination to read between the lines of a throw away comment relating to a cracked bin.

It's also a very strange thing for your mum to do ... is this common behaviour for her?

Justmeandthedog1 · 30/01/2023 14:25

I can’t see someone on a switchboard in a council office contacting SS. And not coping could be you physically can’t cope with a cracked bin.
But your mother needs to learn some boundaries and stop over-sharing unnecessarily.
If she wants to help try giving her specific jobs to do and limit her time to suit you.

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General health
Paperdolly · 30/01/2023 14:25

I was much the same as a young mum. Not married but living with partner. I thought I had to try twice as hard because I felt shamed. I once tripped and dropped my young baby on the carpeted floor and immediately took him to the GP for a check up and to explain I hadn’t thrown him. You’ll be lucky to get SS to take any interest as they’re snowed under with genuine neglect cases so I wouldn’t worry. I’m older and wiser. 💐

WrendaleCountryDogs · 30/01/2023 14:27

Your bigger issue is with your mum calling the council to say you're not doing well due to a cracked bin!

Pinkbonbon · 30/01/2023 14:29

Nah the council aren't going to speak to social services. You'll be bloody lucky if they even phone someone about the bins tbh xD

Even if social services did come out, so what? They'll maybe be able to help you out with something, you never know. It's not like they're a bunch of baby snatchers lol.

PurelyOrnamental · 30/01/2023 15:02

Oh come on OP, have you seen some of the severe cases of neglect that SS don't deal with due to under-staffing?
If you are coping start getting your mother to back off, you are a grown up with your own child and can ring the council about your own bins if necessary!
And next time she is having a good old nosey through your recycling tell her to put it down and mean it.

Dalooah · 30/01/2023 15:06

I wouldn't worry about social services but I do want to say that you have such a lovely mum who is willing to help you with the not so nice aspects of being a parent- things get left and it's so amazing to have someone looking out for you. I'd ignore the posters who are saying you should ask your mum to back down, if you're happy to have her help you, let her carry on- there is nothing wrong with accepting help!

Johnnysgirl · 30/01/2023 15:13

Dalooah · 30/01/2023 15:06

I wouldn't worry about social services but I do want to say that you have such a lovely mum who is willing to help you with the not so nice aspects of being a parent- things get left and it's so amazing to have someone looking out for you. I'd ignore the posters who are saying you should ask your mum to back down, if you're happy to have her help you, let her carry on- there is nothing wrong with accepting help!

Her Mum could have requested a replacement bin without dramatising how well or otherwise op was doing in her personal life, it's beyond weird!
The council won't give a toss, but what if she shites on like that to someone else, like the healthy visitor?
That could have implications.

Dalooah · 30/01/2023 15:51

Oh yeah absolutely- no need for the excessive information and dramatics, but I was referring to the fact that PPs have said she's old enough/capable enough etc it ringing the council herself.

ReamsOfCheese · 30/01/2023 15:56

You’ll be lucky to get SS to take any interest as they’re snowed under with genuine neglect cases so I wouldn’t worry.
It's probably not how you meant it but this feels like quite a judgement of all the people on here with SS involvement over really small things. The CIN pathway is there to try and troubleshoot small issues with families before they become major disasters. If OP does end up with an SS referral (not for the bin, but if there's a bigger picture we don't know about) she and anyone else with SS involved should feel safe and not shamed and take the help offered.

PragmaticWench · 30/01/2023 15:57

I wonder if your anxiety is increased by having a mum who overshares personal information and makes out that you're not coping when you are?! Is your DM a stressy person?

FatSealSmugSoup · 30/01/2023 16:04

Christ OP. The shit that crosses our desks doesn’t even come close to “wheelie bin lid cracked”. The only time I’ve known SS concern themselves with a wheelie-bin was when the kid set fire to it!

Iwantabloodypizza · 30/01/2023 16:39

OP, I suffer from horrendous anxiety and my mind would have immediately gone to the same place.

I’d bet my house that no one will call SS. They just wont.

You probably wont get a new bin either if they are as shit as our council.

Iwantabloodypizza · 30/01/2023 16:40

But your mum does need to stop doing things like that.

Cas112 · 30/01/2023 16:41

They won't OP it's just your anxiety getting the better of you.. try ask your mum to refrain over sharing your business

Paperdolly · 01/02/2023 06:03

ReamsOfCheese · 30/01/2023 15:56

You’ll be lucky to get SS to take any interest as they’re snowed under with genuine neglect cases so I wouldn’t worry.
It's probably not how you meant it but this feels like quite a judgement of all the people on here with SS involvement over really small things. The CIN pathway is there to try and troubleshoot small issues with families before they become major disasters. If OP does end up with an SS referral (not for the bin, but if there's a bigger picture we don't know about) she and anyone else with SS involved should feel safe and not shamed and take the help offered.

Apologies to all offended. It wasn’t meant like that. Thanks for pointing it out.

bluetongue · 01/02/2023 06:10

You need to kindly but firmly put some boundaries in place with your mum. It’s hard to critiscise when they’re helping you but it needs to be nipped in the bud.

GreyCarpet · 01/02/2023 06:53

Dalooah · 30/01/2023 15:51

Oh yeah absolutely- no need for the excessive information and dramatics, but I was referring to the fact that PPs have said she's old enough/capable enough etc it ringing the council herself.

I would suggest that there is a correlation between her 'lovely mum' and her anxiety actually.

Parents prone to 'dramatics' can have that effect on their children...

miraveille · 01/02/2023 06:56

I suggest with kindness that post partum anxiety is a real thing and maybe you need a trip to to the GP as medication may help

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