If you’ve gone through tricky times with your dh, how have you worked on it ? I think it’s me being a bit perimenopausal

[Perimeopausepip]

I think I might be hard work to live with
need to improve things

Hard work in what way?

The most important thing is to keep communicating. If you think the problem isn’t actually the situation itself or something he’s done but how yours feeling making you react disproportionately then be clear in that. “I’m sorry if I was / appeared [whatever behaviour or response] earlier, it wasn’t your fault, I’m feeling [how you’re feeling] and I don’t think I’m dealing with it very well. I’m going to work on how I deal with it.”

Learn to recognise the start of an emotion or feeling which leads you to be “hard work” and a reaction to it: taking yourself away for a few minutes to take some deep breaths to let the moment pass; saying “I’m going to have to come back to this later when I’m feeling more able to discuss it properly”; whatever helps.

And visit your GP to discuss getting blood tests to determine whether you’re in peri-menopause and options for HRT.

DH and I would both agree that we are far more tolerant of the (albeit rare) occasions when either one of us is abrupt or snappy or gets annoyed because we’re both very good at acknowledging it wasn’t acceptable, apologising, and explaining.