Need recommendations on book for teen DD about sex

[soupmaker]

So DD14 (she'll be 15 in a couple of weeks) asked me tonight about going on contraception as she and her soon to be 16yo BF want to have sex.

This is not out of the blue, they've known each other for 10 years, been together as BF and GF for 7 months. His mum and I have same view, too soon to be sexually active they need to slow down and just enjoy their relationship without sex.

I had another long chat with DD tonight about consent, the emotional side of having a physical relationship, the need to be safe both physically and emotionally, about why I want her to wait until they are both over the age of consent, about practicalities of getting contraception and the like.

She of course talks to her friends, some of whom are already having sex, and uses Google. I've already sent her some links to articles about research showing how having sex at a young age is regretted by women in particular. But I need to a book for her to read, any recommendations?

She doesn't actually need your consent to go on the pill

She can just go to her GP and ask for it

It's great she talks to you about it but it really isn't up to you or what your thoughts are regarding her sex life

She is 14

She’s 14 for fucks sake, a child.

Did you actually read my post and understand that my DD is 14 @DaVariance?

Unfortunately OP if she wants to have sex it’s unlikely a book will make her reconsider.

Its good you’ve spoken to her about consent etc. I would take her to the GP but also say that no contraception is 100% effective, and condoms also protect against STDs, being on the pill/other hormonal contraception is not a reason to not use condoms.

I just want her to be as informed as possible. I know that no book will stop her, but it's about making sure she's thought through her decision and considered the consequences, good and bad.

We've had chat about double protection.

Sorry op, but I lost my virginity at just turned 15. I didn’t have a parent I could speak to for advice, you're lucky in that respect. I certainly wasn’t early among my peers either. A book isn't going to cut it at this point, make her an appointment with the GP to discuss. She's being very sensible coming to you. Make sure her decisions are completely informed ie how long whichever type she opts for takes to achieve the full effect. It's bloody scary to take on board as a parent, but above everything else, absolutely necessary that she continues to take safety seriously.

' I've already sent her some links to articles about research showing how having sex at a young age is regretted by women in particular.'

wow, so she tries to be safe and informs you instead of just doing it in a bush and risk getting pregnant, and you in response just bombard her with articles about women regretting having sex. way to be mature about it

LOL, hardly

I do agree with PP, I would take her to the doctors and talk about contraception options. If she’s old enough to have sex she should be leading that conversation with the doctor. Yes talking about a healthy relationship / consent is needed but she will do it if she wants.

If you push not having sex on her too much then she will do it behind your back however I appreciate you don’t want to enable them either. It’s a hard grey area to get right.

To answer your actual question the teens girl’s survival guide isn’t about sex but it’s about peer pressure / friends / how do you know people are actually your friends etc.

This could be a good thought provoking book which could lead to discussions around sex

Thanks @Duckduckgooseagain I'll have a look at that book.

I've suggested to DD that she make the GP appointment and that I would not go in with her. She feels mature enough to have sex, and I feel very lucky she's talking to me about it, but it's definitely the trickiest patenting challenge so far. I just wish they'd wait another year but I know that'll not happen.

Firstly she's being sensible and talking to you about contraception, so she obviously doesn't want a pregnancy. So I'd take her to the gp and arrange it, so when it does happen it's one less thing to worry about. It doesn't give her the green light to do it, she'll do it regardless

Secondly I'd keep the communication channels open with her, discuss it regularly, as you said, she's still very young, but better it happens and she has you to talk to, rather than she only has her friends. I was 14 when I lost my virginity, but then didn't have sex again until I was 17. Some kids (me included), just want to get it over with, realise it's not 'all that' then don't bother again for a few years.