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Feeling left out …. Not invited.

4 replies

AngelsandAliens · 29/01/2023 19:24

So the person I class as “my best friend” (and yes I hate that expression especially as I’m nearly 40) I don’t have loads of mates and I’m ok with that as I don’t have loads of free time for the ones do have .

anyway she just celebrated her birthday and 5 people went , and I wasn’t invited .

she is the type of person that makes out to each individual they are the best person in the world , again I’m not like this and maybe I got sucked into that .

But I feel so sad that I didn’t even get an invite , like what is wrong with me (the 5 people are not all friends they are separate mates with her, as am I )

I believe she has even hidden her what’s app story that she posted pictures on of it , as I can’t see it however my partner who has her number can .

I have just messaged her and was sarcastic and said…. “I’ll see if I can bag myself an invite to your birthday next year” (and laughing face) as I don’t wanna be too intense .

And she put back , that I know you like it just me and her and so does she ? But I’m still hurt , I’m not overly confident in myself lately , but I am really easy to get on with and should be no reason why I wouldn’t be good in a group . If anything I’m usually the life and soul and always get on well with new people .

Just feel flat and weird , as all my friendships feel so shit lately .

would you feel upset or would it not bother you ?

OP posts:
BevMarsh · 29/01/2023 19:28

I'd be upset.
You obviously think more of her than she does of you.
I'd be scaling back the messaging and losing the 'best' from the friend.

BananaHamhock · 29/01/2023 19:30

Sorry you feel this way OP. I can sympathise slightly, but instead I often feel left out from friendships when they chose to do things with just 2 or 3 of them together as I'm always part of doing things with everyone in a group setting, but am never asked to do anything just on my own even though I know the others all do.

With regards to your situation and the birthday party, perhaps another one of her friends organised the party with a group of their friends you're not associated with? I know this has happened when I've gone to group dinners / parties before. Maybe she didn't have much control over who came or you weren't part of the wider friend group she was doing something with.

Can you have a Frank discussion with her without sounding too upset?

Clymene · 29/01/2023 19:33

I'm sorry, that must be very painful. She's not your best friend, however you think of her.

I would be enormously hurt.

GoldilockMom · 29/01/2023 19:34

Why not invite her out for dinner to celebrate her birthday?

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