Just looking for suggestions!
My DW and I have 3 kids (two young teens from her previous relationship and one 1 year old together). We’re both female if that matters.
Since the baby came along, I work part-time and have the 1 year old on my days off. DW works full time, Monday-Friday.
She does a highly stressful job which requires a lot of mental brainpower each day. I can’t really disclose what she does, but I could compare it to the role of a GP. She makes decisions daily which often alter people’s lives.
Her commute is about an hour (each way) too. This isn’t her choice and it’ll be changing to a much more manageable commute soon.
Our toddler isn’t a good sleeper. I’ve tried everything but they’re still up most nights, crying and waking us both up. We both struggle with the sleep deprivation but my DW more so. It means she’s often tired at work and by the time she comes home, is exhausted.
She said today that she feels like she’s being pulled in many different directions, being spread too thin. Her enjoyment of life has disappeared.
For example, the two older kids will have an argument at home and bombard her with text messages about it while she’s working. The moment she comes home, it’s the same. They meet her at the front door to air their grievances about each other or to ask for money etc. I’m often the one here when they are having dinner and if I say anything (like ask them to put their plate in the sink) that they don’t like, they’re texting her instantly.
She feels she can’t do anything alone. Eat dinner, watch a TV show, work, sleep. It’s all disturbed in some way. It’s led her to feeling very “meh” about her daily life. We struggle to do things at the weekend due to the sleep deprivation too. It wipes you out.
So, of course I want to help her and I’ve suggested I manage as much care for the little one as possible. Bedtimes, bathtime, keeping them entertained, getting up overnight if required.
It’s more complicated with the other two since I’m not their natural parent. I’ve suggested she talk to them and tell them in an age-appropriate way how she is feeling. I’ve suggested she take time in the evenings to go for a walk and listen to a podcast, go for a swim, get a coffee, watch Netflix…anything that she feels will help balance her stressful day out.
Has anyone ever been in this situation before? What helped? I just want to make sure I’m doing all I can.
Thanks.