DS doesn't want to go to a classmate's party - am I failing him by not encouraging him to be more social?

[JofraArchersFastestBall]

My 5yo DS is quite shy and struggles a bit at parties. He's usually happy enough to go along and then just joins in once he feels comfortable.

We've had an invite to a classmates party that he just doesn't want to go to. Says he doesn't mind the little boy who's party it is, but they're not really friends and the thought of going makes him nervous.

I'm inclined to make a polite excuse and let him sit it out, but am I letting him down? He hasn't made any close friends at school yet but seems generally happy and his teacher isn't worried about him.

It’s a party invite note a court summons!

I understand your worry, but if he is normally anxious, but then goes and enjoys himself. I’d listen to him on this one and let him have his choice to not attend a party he very definitely doesn’t want to attend.

He doesn't have to go to every party. I'd let him stay home

My daughter usually says yes to invites, but one or two she’s said no to, and I’ve been happy to make polite excuses. It’s not mandatory so she can choose.

I wouldn’t let her accept the invite then change her mind though, that is rude.

We've done a lot of reception parties and they're not mandatory, but it is a chance for him to build bridges and for you to get to know other parents

Thanks all. I'm desperate for him to make friends, and this little boy seems really nice (as does his Mum and I could do with making more friends too!) but I think I could do more harm than good by pushing him.

He is more likely to make friends thru play dates than a party.