Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Not sure if I’m going off my dh or it’s just perimenopause

34 replies

Perimeopausepip · 29/01/2023 08:13

He’s never been great with illnesses
he lacks Patience and gets frustrated
was that great when I was pregnant
for an example if I was being sick which I was a lot he would just leave me to to it
rather than ask if I’m ok
need a tissue or get me a drink or generally be there in anyway

been going through some tough time over the last 6 months which had lead to me being quite anxious at time s

this he just has no time for
gets frustrated at me
which makes it worse for me and really worse for him too

just makes me feel like I’m not sure I see a future with him as old age will surely bring illness etc into our lives and I don’t thjnk he’s great support with this

but I don’t know if it’s perhaps perimenopause affecting my thinking or if I’m actually going off him and need to leave him

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 29/01/2023 13:36

I take magnesium to help me sleep, and it has worked miracles, I’ve also pretty much stopped drinking as that wasn’t helping.
For magnesium I started off with two baths a week (but you can have more, and I put bubbles in too), two hands full in the water, agitate it to melt it, and soak for 20 minutes.
Then I settled on L-Tnreonate magnesium tablets as they help meno brain, along with sleep. They really helped me.

KangarooKenny · 29/01/2023 13:37

I think you have to accept that he won’t change, so if you stay, you do so knowing this fault. You get your sympathy from elsewhere.

KangarooKenny · 29/01/2023 13:39

drumandthebass · 29/01/2023 13:16

I'm feeling exactly the same. I sometimes wonder if my zero sex drive is just with DH or would I be more inclined with someone else. Having said that I can't even look at sex scenes on the tv without feeling repulsed, so think it probably isn't him Confused

I also have no libido but, like you , I wonder if I’d have it with someone else.
‘I think years of drinking, snoring, and not doing their fair share of house/child work dampens down the libido.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
nc1013 · 29/01/2023 13:49

Hi @Perimeopausepip

I'm only 40 and have an 8 year old Dd. I've been having peri-menopause symptoms for the last couple of years (not diagnosed but I'm pretty sure and I'm getting a blood test tomorrow to confirm).

My mum had menopause at 43 (as in thats when she had her last period) so would make sense for me to have peri early.

Anyway, out of all the main symptoms I'd say by far my irritability and lack of patience is the worst of the lot. I constantly feel full of rage but that I could burst into tears at any minute.

I'm divorced and only been with my bf a year. He's absolutely amazing and really understanding but there are some days I feel full of rage towards him for absolutely no reason at all. He's been a saint tolerating me!!

My GP said that if the blood tests show peri then the next step is to discuss HRT - if I'm open to testing etc so he seems willing to prescribe if it's what I need/want.

He said I'll need 2 blood tests 6 weeks apart but I was almost in tears at the thought of feeling this way for another 6+ weeks plus time for HRT to kick in.

I've tried taking some supplements already and 6 days in, I think I'm starting to feel a bit better already.

Maybe it's worth exploring if this is what's affecting you and not making any life changing decisions until you have it more under controlled and feel more "balanced".

If you do this and feel okay in all other areas of life then reconsider your marriage?

Original poster
Perimeopausepip · 30/01/2023 09:12

nc1013 · 29/01/2023 13:49

Hi @Perimeopausepip

I'm only 40 and have an 8 year old Dd. I've been having peri-menopause symptoms for the last couple of years (not diagnosed but I'm pretty sure and I'm getting a blood test tomorrow to confirm).

My mum had menopause at 43 (as in thats when she had her last period) so would make sense for me to have peri early.

Anyway, out of all the main symptoms I'd say by far my irritability and lack of patience is the worst of the lot. I constantly feel full of rage but that I could burst into tears at any minute.

I'm divorced and only been with my bf a year. He's absolutely amazing and really understanding but there are some days I feel full of rage towards him for absolutely no reason at all. He's been a saint tolerating me!!

My GP said that if the blood tests show peri then the next step is to discuss HRT - if I'm open to testing etc so he seems willing to prescribe if it's what I need/want.

He said I'll need 2 blood tests 6 weeks apart but I was almost in tears at the thought of feeling this way for another 6+ weeks plus time for HRT to kick in.

I've tried taking some supplements already and 6 days in, I think I'm starting to feel a bit better already.

Maybe it's worth exploring if this is what's affecting you and not making any life changing decisions until you have it more under controlled and feel more "balanced".

If you do this and feel okay in all other areas of life then reconsider your marriage?

What supplements are you taking ?

OP posts:
nc1013 · 30/01/2023 10:45

Hi @Perimeopausepip

I'll post the link but feel I need to add a disclaimer - last night and today I'm an emotional wreck. Feel like it's back with a Vengeance. Got a months supply so I'll stick with them and see what happens.....

https://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B08H6KGPX3/ref=cmcrrgetrmbbpagingbtmm12?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=allreviews&pageNumber=12

dollyknocker · 30/01/2023 11:09

nc1013 · 29/01/2023 13:49

Hi @Perimeopausepip

I'm only 40 and have an 8 year old Dd. I've been having peri-menopause symptoms for the last couple of years (not diagnosed but I'm pretty sure and I'm getting a blood test tomorrow to confirm).

My mum had menopause at 43 (as in thats when she had her last period) so would make sense for me to have peri early.

Anyway, out of all the main symptoms I'd say by far my irritability and lack of patience is the worst of the lot. I constantly feel full of rage but that I could burst into tears at any minute.

I'm divorced and only been with my bf a year. He's absolutely amazing and really understanding but there are some days I feel full of rage towards him for absolutely no reason at all. He's been a saint tolerating me!!

My GP said that if the blood tests show peri then the next step is to discuss HRT - if I'm open to testing etc so he seems willing to prescribe if it's what I need/want.

He said I'll need 2 blood tests 6 weeks apart but I was almost in tears at the thought of feeling this way for another 6+ weeks plus time for HRT to kick in.

I've tried taking some supplements already and 6 days in, I think I'm starting to feel a bit better already.

Maybe it's worth exploring if this is what's affecting you and not making any life changing decisions until you have it more under controlled and feel more "balanced".

If you do this and feel okay in all other areas of life then reconsider your marriage?

Just for info, blood tests aren't recommended to confirm peri. If you're having symptoms then you should just be prescribed HRT. Blood tests are very hit and miss so don't let them fob you off if they don't confirm it. Also don't feel you have to have them and wait 6 weeks for another one!

nc1013 · 30/01/2023 11:15

Thanks @dollyknocker
My GP actually seemed very understanding. He did explain that blood tests might not confirm peri for definite but he's keen to rule out any other issues (mainly thyroid) before starting HRT. Other than that he's open to the idea and willing to prescribe (I'm only 40 and think the guidelines are to do tests for under 45s but could be wrong)

He says the readings can vary wildly hence the need to repeat in 6 weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's just the way I feel right now is like some type of breakdown/overwhelm of emotions that 6 weeks seems like such a long time

KangarooKenny · 30/01/2023 12:30

NICE guidelines state that FSH can be used in diagnosis for those aged 40-45

New posts on this thread. Refresh page