All this talk of over 50s returning to work has made me so down

[OneFrenchEgg]

I'm just over 50. I've had kids who are still at home, and I've never got to a well paid career yet but I'm trying. I don't have a pension to speak of. I want to save up and get some treatment as I'm so embarrassed (my whole life) by one part of my face.
But all today the radio had a phone in about people being encouraged to leave the financial and emotional comfort of their 50s and go back to work, and how they are enjoying having no mortgage etc or looking after grandchildren and maybe they could do a little pocket money job now they are too old to chase a proper job again.

I feel like I'm suddenly too old and I didn't realise. Like I've been dealing with life and it's run out. I still have a huge amount left on the mortgage. I feel like I've done life wrong. I'm so surprised at how much this has knocked me - is anyone else feeling the same?

Yes but that comes with a high price which lands at your feet in later years (and sometimes your child’s). 25 isn’t young biologically - in fact it was seen as an older FTM in the 60s/70s. I’m not saying that needs to be the norm socially, but travelling and holidays can be taken at any age in life, having babies cannot.

OP do you mind if I ask why you’ve no pension? That’s quite a worrying state to be in at 50.

Yeah, I’m surprised there are that many people in their 50’s who are financially well off enough to have stopped working on a whim, for it to be worth mentioning by the government.

Anyway as far as the government goes, it goes to show how utterly out of touch they are that they think retiring at 50 is even remotely normal 😂

56, and I'll be working until I drop dead. My mortgage is until I'm 70.

Sure, but even then 25 is still young, you've hardly experienced life. You could even have children at 30 and have 5 more years of 'living'. I will not be encouraging my kids to have children young, in fact I'd be quite disappointed for them. I don't feel travelling in your late 50s would be anything like travelling in your early 20s.

I’m 39 with very young children. I will be retraining a couple of years when the youngest starts school. I’m definitely good way of being a grandparent and retirement.

I had a few colleagues in their 50’s who stopped working during or just after lockdown. I think they enjoyed being at home and realised there’s more to life than work. They had the money to do it, some took their pension (LGPS) early. I don’t blame them & certainly don’t think they’ll be tempted back by Jeremy Hunt.

@WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody I read your post nodding along including the retraining / what next

@MrsMikeDrop

Well you sound like a top mum, not!! Let your kids live their lives the way they see fit. Imagine being disappointed in your adult child because they happened to have a different world view to you. Personally I think older motherhood isn’t the way forward but if my daughter chose that I would support her.
Going through menopause with teenagers?? Horrific and something I’m glad I’ll never have to experience. I could go on and on about my reasoning but that would derail the thread.

I'm 55, I have another 6 years before my youngest is out of uni. I'll be working for a long time yet. I have a well paying career but I'm shit with money.

I think things like that can really knock you, however it is not reality. Lots of people in their 50s are still at the height of careers, and these days will provably be at it for 20 odd years.

look up some articles about that so you get a balanced view.

These reports are emphasising those who have quit work, because they want them back in, the ones already working aren’t an issue.

Which they pay into...I'm police and pay over 500 a month into my pension. My friend works for a bank, pays in just over a 100 and her pension is still better than mine.

Honestly we've got years left if we want them.

My husband has had a gruelling job as a teacher for his whole career. He's always worked flat out, giving it 150% of his available energy. Full time, 12 hour days for 25 years. ☹️

He is literally burnt out and all he wants to do is retire and do his own thing.

I, on the other hand, had a great career trajectory, starting with study and a further qualification which I got day release and study leave for. I then worked flat out till pregnancy then had two (shortish) maternity leaves. Then I worked in gruelling roles to progress whole my kids were small, plus one 3 month career break, a secondment, changed jobs twice.

After all that I sadly got royally shafted in one restructure so decided to take a further career break to study for another post-grad qualification.

The reason I'm saying all this is that my changes and breaks have kept me energised, motivated and interested.

I don't really see retirement as the golden years he sees them as. I'd rather keep working flexibly on/off or part time for as long as it's feasible.

So I think these might be two extremes but not everyone has the same trajectory in life. I'm a great believer in "It's never too late to be what you might have been".

It's not always easy but it's worth a try!

Anything I've tried and failed (the restructure thing say) I've learnt stuff.

I'm working, so are all my friends. I'm hoping to give up around 58

Actually I used to be shit with money, when I was young and thought I had a bazillion years to sort it out. I've never caught up. Learn by my mistakes you youngsters, don't borrow!

After being told that the average age of death for a teacher is 8 years post retirement, I'll be working until I'm
90!

They have had phone-ins before on this on weekdays.

I concluded that the only way to do it is to be child free and have dead parents so you have no caring responsibilities on the horizon.

The only couple of people who I know fit into this, lost their spouse/long term partner and so inherited money from their deaths. However they are working after a couple of years off.

I have older siblings or their spouses who have retired from their jobs but they have fingers in different pies.

To be fair they are all in managerial roles.

As we/they have relatives with very short or very long lives it is about finding a balance between work and leisure so if they drop dead tomorrow they weren't just living to work.

I think it would be better. In your 20s it’s mainly about getting drunk and doing generic paths like Asia/Australia. I think you know yourself better as an older adult, have more confidence and know what really interests you. Plus a well earned break after the childcare!

I always find it interesting that people don’t consider having children as ‘experiencing life’. Isn’t that subjective? I think part of parental burnout and dissatisfaction now is that after years of partying and lie ins, parenting comes as a big shock. When otherwise it wouldn’t. It’s the right way round for some!

Reason l will be working forever is that an adulterous ex partner got the house I'd paid for and my pension through lies and playing the system.

This thread has really depressed me and made me realise I've pretty much failed at life. I am so tired of working, but it won't ever stop.

I doubt very much my mortgage will be paid off in my 50’s my husband is already in his 50s and has been looking for a new job within his industry but is facing ageism all the time during the recruitment process.

@NomadicSoul I'm sorry that wasn't my intention, I felt like such an outlier earlier it's been really good to hear I'm probably average after all. Please reread some of the responses, I don't think you are failing.

What’s upsetting? I retired and returned at 55 ( nurse specialist) …So just do 2 days bank work now…sometimes one day…sometimes none!????….love it …no responsibility….no mortgage…..time with my 3 GDs …..nice lump sum in bank….lots of time to spend with my mum and friends…lots of trips away……volunteering….lots of time in the garden…long walks …. Don’t feel the need to have a big career anymore….when I’m 70 my GDs will all be grown up….don’t want to miss out on them now….I’m not upset…I’m loving life

No it's from not being around babies and small children due to coming from a small family with clear generational cohorts of relations.

Myself and couple of my sisters are older mothers. Thanks to our other siblings and the fact one of our first cousins is old we have been around babies and small children since older primary age.

Oh and I'm not use to having lie-ins as before I had my DD I use to get up early to exercise before work. The best thing for me was hybrid working and WFH.

The two people I know who retired at 55 and 59 recently have both done so because their remaining parent died and they got an inheritance.

DH and I will absolutely retire at 55. He has three years, I have four years (NHS). Largely possible due to losing both my parents early, paying off the mortgage at 44 and investing the rest of the inheritance. DH is also a high earner.
DC2 will be finishing uni at the same time so the timing is perfect.
Extremely lucky if it comes off. Not so much in other ways.