2 working parents, school aged children, no childcare. Possible?

[BlueAbacus]

DC2 starts full time preschool attached to the primary school which DC1 attends in September. Feels like a whole new phase and still thrilled to be out of nappies tbh.

I appreciate millions of people must do this, but I can’t get my head round it, so any advice very welcome.

DH and I both work full time. Both can be flexible in terms of home working c.2 days a week, but neither can do compressed hours. Neither of us can (or want to) go part time, mainly for financial reasons.

Up until September, we have had a nanny/childminder to do pick ups, and look after our younger child during the day. She had both in school holidays. Appreciate we have been fortunate with this.

From September, we can’t justify a nanny for after school hours (nor do I think there are a lot of people looking for those hours, from what I can see) and there are no childminders who will just do pick ups in our area. So DH and I will have to fudge termtime with after school clubs and each working from home a few days a week, making up time in the evenings.

But what about school holidays?! We have no grandparents or other family help. Is it just lots of summer camps and me and DH taking annual leave at separate times? Any advice from those who have done/are doing it very welcome.

So full time (private) nursery is not an option for you?

I kept my youngest in private nursery till reception. I couldn't get the school hours to work and like people say the holidays are difficult to cover for that age.

Oh sorry @edme missed this! Yes it is, I will look into it, thank you. Was hoping to start reducing costs I suppose, but you’re right with the free hours that is worth looking at.

‘But what about school holidays?! We have no grandparents or other family help. Is it just lots of summer camps and me and DH taking annual leave at separate times? Any advice from those who have done/are doing it very welcome.’

Yep. It‘s tough!
We don’t have any family help either. Family and GP’s live too far away. My Mum works FT, DH’s Mum became too frail with physical disabilities since our last two DC were born, so she hasn’t been able to help even if we lived closer to each other. One Grandfather is sadly no longer with us and the other unfortunately isn’t an option.

DH has a couple of businesses so doesn’t really take AL. He has a lot of autonomy and flexibility as the boss, so he just takes the occasional time away from work here and there and has taken the DC to work with him over the years, including abroad on 1-5 day work trips. His Mum joined him and 1 young DC on the 5 day trip abroad. We’ve got an adult DC, one in Yr 7 and the last in Yr 3 so we’ve been juggling childcare for a long time. Childcare costs were obviously a lot cheaper when adult DC was young. There was also a lot more availability re. Childminder places and no waiting lists for school Wrap Around Care, not the case for most now. Adult DC has recently and finally moved from a PT job into a FT job since leaving Uni before the pandemic, so isn’t available to help with school runs in emergencies anymore.

I’ve worked a mixture of FT and PT. I currently work school hours and mainly from home since COVID, which has made juggling childcare so much easier and has removed all childcare costs. We paid FT & then PT private nursery fees over 7 years for the last two DC before I left employment for several months and then returned once our youngest DC started school, and I have been lucky enough to be working school hours since.

DH does the AM school runs most mornings and has to do them on the occasional days that I work from the office. We don’t think our Yr 3 would take well to Breakfast Club as he struggles with changes to his routine, although we registered him for the Breakfast Club just in case DH cannot do the AM school run on the days that I have to be at the office. Eldest DC loved attending school holiday camps. I had to physically drag middle DC through the gates once, so that was the end of that, although they enjoyed attending wrap around care after school a few days pw for a few years.

The kids and I will be at DH’s office if the proposed Teachers’ Strike goes ahead next Wed, as our home WiFi is playing up and I’ve got a work deadline. DH is not happy about all of us descending to his office for the day, but hey ho. Trying to manage our 8 yr old with Autistic traits in a coffee shop for 5.5 hrs whilst I’m trying to work to a same day deadline is not something that I would even consider!

I’ll be taking 2 days AL during the Feb Half-Term, so I can carry over my remaining AL over to the next AL year.

The childcare situation in the UK is dire. DH worked Mon-Fri in a Scandinavian country for several months, several years ago. We spent a bit of time there as a family on some weekends and a few school holidays. Fantastic work/life balance and affordable childcare provision.

Sorry; it’s all a bit doom and gloom in the UK ATM re. childcare. Good, available and affordable childcare has definitely gone down hill during the last 12 years of Conservative Government as with everything else.
I hope you find a way to make it work for you and your family. Good luck.

Until your youngest is in reception the general holiday camps aren't going to take them both - look at nurseries and forest schools in your area that do holidays clubs, they are more expensive than school aged holiday clubs as they tend to charge similar to nursery rates but where I am there’s several nurseries and first schools that do them. That’s what we had to do and combine with annual leave and bit of juggling wfh days to cover the school holidays in the 2 years youngest was at preschool before reception.

Possible and loads of people do it but sounds bloody miserable if you ask me.

holiday camps won’t take children until reception age/ the only way to use a pre school that operates term hours is to have a childminder for the holidays- some offer this. But sounds like you need wrap around care for your youngest.

But what about school holidays?! We have no grandparents or other family help. Is it just lots of summer camps and me and DH taking annual leave at separate times?

Yup.

Not necessarily - there are quite a few near me that do take from 3 but you will pay at least £50 a day for those ones. Best bet is look at ones based out of private schools. But I agree the choice is much less and may not be available everywhere. None of the cheaper ones do under 5s near me so can also be an issue for summer born reception kids as well as the nursery ones.

Op- I think you’re actually in a really good position if you can both wfh twice a week. The wfh days are pretty easy for me to manage - it’s days with a commute that are hard as need solid 8-6 provision for camps and wrap-around after school.

Also, beware that some schools will not allow Preschool aged children to attend their school wrap around care provision.
This scuppered our plans to move our last two DC from private nursery to school preschool, in order to save on private nursery fees.

After considering independent schools during the last few years, we’ve found that it’s easier, more practical and affordable to send children to an Independent Primary School than to faff around with trying to find and organise good and affordable childcare outside of the hours that State schools provide.

The current childcare situation is really depressing. Our adult DC said she doesn’t think she’s want kids because of all of this. She still lives at home and has only just secured her first FT job since leaving Uni 4 years ago. She’s always wanted to work and live abroad since she was a teen. This is definitely her plan now.

So what is your solution?

The other thing I did was have my youngest in a term time preschool, and paid a private nursery during the holidays. They were a nursery that did term time only contracts so were happy to have a child a few days in the holiday to balance out. I had to phone a few to find one that would do it, but you could try that?

I would advise caution OP... depending on what you both do for careers, if it is at all possible, take the financial hit and keep the nanny. I know so many families who tried to economise by trying to use wraparound and holiday clubs rather than a nanny and I don't know a single one who didn't find it profoundly stressful.

My BIL and SIL both have senior full on jobs working long hours and kept their full time nanny on until their youngest DC went to secondary school at 11. They took that financial hit for 6 years because their jobs necessitated them having proper continuity and security of childcare, even though it meant that the nanny did essentially have six hours 'off' a lot of the time whilst the DC were at school.

But bear in mind that school holidays are long, kids get ill a lot, think about inset days, other random school closures, the times when one will get sent home halfway through the day because they've been sick or bumped their head or developed a fever etc (this can happen a lot). In all of those situations a nanny will make your life so much easier.

And also please don't assume that a school offering wraparound care will necessarily have spaces. It will depend hugely on the size of your DC's wraparound care provision and the demographic of the school, of course, but the school I work in has long waiting lists for wraparound care for every day of the week and it can literally take years to get a place.

Whatever you do, do your homework before you give notice to the nanny.

The first year before our son was 5 was hardest as all the holiday clubs around here don't take them until they are 5, we had to use all our holiday and sometimes he would be in front of the TV while we worked.

I don't know if you guys can work remotely but I took my computer across the country to family and stayed with them working while they looked after my son.

After 5 there is quite a lot of options where we are for different kinds of holiday club, he does a sports one and a forest school one.

Also look for the good camps and get recommendations. Some of them are really shit. But my daughter has had some really brilliant experiences from doing a musical in a week to pony camps (much more spendy so a treat). She has got on best at the multi activity camps as a full day of sport is a bit too much for her.

we have generally found the most choice at Easter and summer. Christmas can be really hard to find childcare (especially for the under 5s) so that will likely be your hardest holiday to cover if you need camps and can’t take it all off.

Have you thought about/do you have space for an Au Pair? Cheaper than a nanny although it's quite a different set-up, but it could help take the pressure off you?

I agree it's very difficult if you haven't got family nearby who can be flexible. My best advice would be to try and make some parent friends who can help out with emergencies or at the last-minute - it does help, and after a certain age, it's as easy to look after one as it is to have a friend round.

I agree with everyone saying reasonably priced holiday clubs for under 5s are a bit of a nightmare. I had to suck up the cost and go back to the private nursery im holidays because DS was August born. Another thing to check is the hours of holiday clubs if that's the route you choose. Around us most of then are 9-4 so not the 8-5.30 I can get from school and they don't seem to run at all in the last week of August so that always has to be booked as annual leave.

Whatever you do, do your homework before you give notice to the nanny.

I agree. If you research first then there's a really good chance you'll change your mind and realise that keeping the nanny, while expensive, is the best solution. Having a reliable person on hand to help with regular and unexpected childcare is a lifesaver in situations where you don't have family to help.

You may be surprised. DS is going to the school nursery in September. Their wraparound is also available as a holiday club and takes children from aged 3 (we used it with our eldest and made a world of difference!).

Reluctant middle DC attended a Stagecoach Drama holiday scheme for 4 short days during a Summer holiday. It was a prize won at the School Fair years ago. They ended up enjoying it, although the days were short and it didn’t run for the whole week. I was on Mat Leave at the time and it was local so the timings were manageable. She could not have gone if I was not at home on Mat Leave.

Yes. I’m not aware of any holiday schemes that have operated during the last week of August. Some only run for the first 3/4 weeks of August.

Holiday camps but it is hard, dd hated a lot of them and I eventually found one she liked it was £80 a day 😳

Also, the school staff that also work within the school wrap around care provision based at the school, may not be the same staff that work within the school holiday play schemes held at the school.

Some schools allow external private companies to provide the holiday play scheme, so your child will/may not be familiar with the staff. This is why my middle DC was reluctant to attend.

You would need to be very thorough in researching how these companies recruit and vet their staff. I work in Safeguarding and you’d be surprised re. the amount of referrals received re. private holiday play schemes.

Ooo it’s tough isn’t it! We were fortunate enough to find a childminder for before and after school. But holidays the DC attended a holiday club at a private day nursery. The day nursery was the one she went to from being 9 months right up until reception. You may find there is a local nursery that offers pre school care Upto reception plus wrap around breakfast and after school from your school and a holiday club - if so you can use one care provider for both children. Which would save a heck of a lot of running around between different providers.

After school and holiday clubs ?

I was very stressed before my DD started school, because having read Mumsnet it seemed no one sent their children to holiday camps, instead everyone was juggling AL and grandparents.
We turned out to be lucky because our DD is very sociable and has enjoyed every single holiday camp we've sent her to. I realise we are very lucky in this sense.
We're also lucky that even though we work full time, our workplaces are family friendly and flexible so we never had problem with after school club.
I just thought I'd add to give another perspective. I fully understand not everyone's situation is like that.