How do people hurt you and feel no remorse?

[seatsclosefooes]

People who are close or were close to you
People you've slept with /dated and spoke too for years daily
How do they do despicable things and not even apologise or seem to care they've hurt you?
Flip it around so they have done nothing wrong and its your fault or you didn't understand something and your wrong?
Then move on without caring about how they've treated you ?

Sorry to hear you’ve been upset by someone I tend to think, in my more rational moments, that the kind of people you’re talking about can do what they did entirely because they are not going to feel bad about it. If they were going to feel bad, they wouldn’t do it. Not explaining myself very well! It’s like they are missing a chip, for empathy or something. Or they are screwed up in some way that hurting someone is a reward in itself. Not that you should waste time trying to understand why! Must take my own advice there! Have a listen to Karma by Taylor Swift! Hope you feel better soon x

My sister is like this. I believe she has narcissistic traits, it exists on a spectrum and isn't always severe enough for a diagnosis. She has very low empathy and is good at pretending to understand other people but doesn't actually feel their emotions the way a neurotypical person would.

Overcoming narcissistic abuse is a lengthy process that requires self care and patience. I suggest you look up Dr Ramani on YouTube and start to move away from this person and try and move on with your life. Practice radical acceptance, they will never understand your point of view no matter how hard you try to explain it to them. Sometimes we have to leave people behind in life.

Because they are a waste of space who only care about themselves & what they get out of that relationship, once they know they can't get anything else they cut you off and move on to vampire off someone else's energy.

Going through this myself right now, I've reliezed it's not me that's the problem it's them.

Personality disordered or a very willing unpleasant person trained by one.

Cause they are Arseholes

They feel justified in their behaviour, to them they are not the one in the wrong. Your crime might have been as simple as taking too long to answer a question, serving mash instead of chips or some other 'how dare you!' wrong.

They don't have time to think or care about how they've treated you - they are the wronged one, don't forget! - they're too busy looking for their next ... whatever.

Because they haven't got the same feeling of rejection. They probably haven't done much wrong. Simply something hasn't worked out.

Narcissism and personality disorders. Apparently there is a dark triad of traits often seen in serial killers. I find the topic interesting (and it helps me to understand the arseholes in my life).

I had a friend who was such a user, I always thought she was a narcissist. Who knows. I think they lose out, they are stuck being dicks until they die.

I think people justify it to themselves normally, which may be twisting the truth or blatantly lying to themselves.

"Well I would have stopped to help pick up the shopping <that I knocked out of their hand> but...."
"... I was scared they'd shout at me."
"... I didn't have time because the bus is due in 10 minutes and I still need to post that letter."
"... they moved into my way and I couldn't help it."
".... I can't bend down with my back so I couldn't."

It's all about them and how they'd feel/be inconvenienced and the other person's fault. And then people round them often help them justify it by being sympathetic and assuring them what they've done is right. Partially because people tend to side with friends and partially because it's presented to them from the one side.

Some people are awful and some have a different opinion of their behaviour to you. And it works both ways.