The Mumsnet dichotomy

[HardStareBear]

I love Mumsnet. I've learned about things that I never even knew existed and I've spent way to long reading about cheeky fuckers and parking insanity.

But, the site is sometimes like two entirely different places. There's a thread at the moment supporting a woman whose husband has checked out of their marriage - it's supportive, full of strong women (some with practical advice and some just there for moral support and a hand to hold) and it shows just how amazing women's friendship can be. It showcases the might of women who have each others backs.

Then, there are the threads that kick off for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Some posters seem to enjoy kicking people when they're down and, by god, it feels vicious sometimes. You're never quite sure which type of thread you're going to get when you start reading.

Anyone else find it completely insane?

Nah. Par for the course. Some threads might attract the bitchy replies but it says more about the people posting those replies than about the actual threads, in the main.

I think often, the tone of the thread is set by the first few posts and others just follow suit.

A lot of people post on AIBU for traffic and then wonder why they get harsh responses.

I'm guessing the supportive thread is in the relationship section, and the horrible thread is in aibu.

Sometimes I think if the OP had posted on a different day / at a different time of day they would get a completely different response.

There are a number of topics on which people hold such polarised views that there will never be any sort of meaningful discussion from taking place. This is only amplified on the internet due to the relative anonymity it provides.

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss I think that there's definitely something in that. As @HadEnoughOfBears said, I often get the feeling that the responses could be very different if the poster had chosen another time to post.

I completely agree. I’ve seen so many completely unjustified pile-ons. Often the first few replies misquote the OP, and then the subsequent replies build on the misinformation rather than on the OP. They seem to take on a life of their own.
I reassure myself with the thought that people are only that awful to each other because they have online anonymity, and in real life they’re probably much more reasonable.

Yes, definitely. You can see that subsequent posters feel emboldened to be nasty.