Wwyd re school?

[BrodieBear]

My head is really spinning I’ve this and all I want to do is burst into tears.

I have 12 year old twins who started year 7 in September, yesterday I had a call from one of ds2 teachers who has said she thinks he may have dyslexia and has asked if she can refer him for testing along with testing for possible ADHD.

I kind of knew it was coming as i have been noticing so many little small things for a long time.
In our conversation the teacher recommended maybe getting a tutor if I can and possibly looking at smaller schools so he may be able to get the extra help he needs.
The issue I have is do I change them both?
Ds 1 is getting on brilliantly and I’m sure will do well wherever he is, my mind is going into overdrive and I feel like I have chosen the wrong school for both of them.

So wwyd?

Ime being at a school that knows your dc will get any sort of diagnosis done much faster. Not that it is fast though. Teachers need to know your dc to assist in the form filling.
In year 9 and still no diagnosis yet....

They are separate people with different needs so of course you don't need to change them both to a new school. If one of your children would benefit from this then absolutely look at all the options. However, there is no need to move them both especially at secondary when they can make their own way to school so no restrictions on needing to be at the same school to make drop off and pick up easier.

She is recommending that if we do decide to change that it gets done by the start of year 8 hopefully he will have at least had some sort of assessment by then.

Are you at an independent? It is unusual for a State school to suggest moving schools for a learning need.

He won't have had an assessment by then I'm afraid...

I’d be wondering why the school he’s in can’t give him the support he needs. Presumably they’re still talking about mainstream schooling - it’s not unusual for schools to try and off-roll kids with SEN.

I’m aware that they are separate people and won’t necessarily both need to change, however they do struggle without each other and tbh I don’t want them to be going back and forth on their own, which is where my overthinking is coming from and I don’t know what to do for the best.

Agree with Jellycats Why are they trying to get rid of him?

Of they are mentioning a small school then they are suggesting specialist. There are very few places. If your DS does get a place (via an EHCP) then he will be entitled to transport.

My DT are still in the same school but just looking at changing that (Y9). One of mine needs / wants to move; the other happy where she is. Your Y7s will be independent in no time: treat each child as an individual as best you can within the logistical boundaries (getting them there and back). Assuming you can manage it, each should be in the right school for the individual.

@Rugbyfield theres no way there would be a place in specialist provision for a child who has been apparently coping in mainstream and has had no assessment of needs done before now. Even where multiple difficulties are identified it takes a good while to get a specialist place and usually a lot of fighting from parents and evidence that the child literally can’t cope in mainstream. This smacks more of the school wanting to off roll him to another mainstream setting so their own outcomes aren’t affected by those pesky kids who need a bit more support.

How will changing to a smaller school give him more help? It doesn't make sense, smaller school often have less provision, not more

I agree with jellycat.

@Jellycatspyjamas a smaller school doesn’t make any sense as the class sizes will still be the same and there are likely to be less resources available. You are right that they probably just want to push him along to make it someone else’s problem.
We started the process of trying to move DS from mainstream to specialist in year 7 and I’m well aware how difficult the process is.

I would be very wary of any school, for any child, that suggests possible SEN and a move to a different setting in the same breath. They clearly don’t like accommodating children with SEN, and that is not a nice value set and suggests their other values are skewed.

That said, I would put possible school move to one side for now and push them hard on getting the assessments and diagnosis done and l adaptations in place, so that at least if you DO decide to move schools, you do so with all paperwork in hand. That said, it may well take a year to 18 months unless your child’s needs are extremely high (to the extent that the school is unable to keep them or other children safe), because professional s such as Ed Psychs and paediatricians have huge waiting lists and are in short supply.

The school do NOT need a diagnosis to put your child on the SEN register - that is on the basis of need. So you should request an urgent meeting with the SENCo to discuss how their needs are displayed in the school environment, and document how the school intends to meet them from now on.

They're separate people and will mostly likely flourish out of each others shadow as hard as it might be to start with. Trust the professional and move the 1 twin.

I’m going through the same process with my DD for secondary @Rugbyfield, we started the process 2 years ago with a view to her having a specialist place in August - it’s a bloody nightmare. I agree re just moving to a smaller mainstream setting, it doesn’t make sense from a “more support” point of view, but if you’re not used to navigating the world of SEN it might make sense at face value.

The needs and associated behaviour must be high and extreme enough to make such a recommendation, move your child to somewhere that would better cater for them.

Trust the professional and move the 1 twin.

Nonsense, if the child’s needs were so great that they needed specialist provision the OP would have been very aware of that before now. I’d never trust someone who mentioned a school move in the same breath as the first mention of needs assessment.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some schools are very quick to suggest that a child with SEN would be ‘better somewhere else’ just because they don’t want to deal with their needs. Ime, this is particularly true of high- performing schools in naice neighbourhoods with good reputations.

Absolutely @cantkeepawayforever

(When DS was in KS1 and was ‘non standard’ in a number of ways, we looked at a school move as part of a house move. It was very instructive to find out which schools suggested ‘somewhere else’ would be better placed to meet his needs.)

dont move either of them. Why would you? ANd if you decide to move one, leave the happy one where they are, or risk anger and resentment forever.

Don't rush into anything. It's unlikely his needs are so high that a specialist place would be warranted, and even less likely, available (unless you spent the last 6 years home educating, something would have been noted already).

I'm afraid schools do try to offload children who may affect their results - due to SEN or social/emotional/ behavioural issues. Also for financial reasons if they think the child will require significant extra support.

It would be far better to get independent advice via an external assessment. Could you possibly afford to pay for a private one to speed things up, though a school might ignore this unless an EHCP is involved? But it could help you understand his needs better, at least.

If they do have to go to different schools, it's not such an issue as they get older as long as they can travel independently. Might be a good thing for twins who are rather dependent on each other?

For support I suggest contacting your local branch of the dyslexia association. If you can afford it, they do classes on a Saturday morning and don't require a formal diagnosis.....saved mine and my daughter's sanity.