Can DH come home this weekend?

[Blondbombsite]

My DH is working away Sun-Fri for the next 4 weeks. Whilst he’s been gone our DS1 has really been missing him and has been under the weather with cold-like symptoms.

Today he’s woken up with spots which the nurse says may be chickenpox and to keep an eye on it. The problem is that DH has never had it despite his mum repeatedly trying to expose him to it as a child (it was the 80s!). I’m not 100% at the moment but if it does turn out to be CP can DH come home tomorrow (they definitely won’t have scabbed over by then).

I think DS will really struggle not seeing him for another week and selfishly so will I. Sleep has been non-existent and I’m 10weeks pregnant so could do with the help. But DH really can’t afford to be ill 😭

No, meaning he most likely caught it on Monday or Tuesday (if he has it)

What would you have done if he wasn't working away? Would DH have gone elsewhere or stayed at home? If he'd have stayed at home I'd say he can come home. If he would have gone to his parents for example then stay away.

I wouldn't risk it. I had it when I was in my 30s and thought I was gonna to die. Adults get it much worse.

He could well be immune to chicken pox mind. Not every child exhibits the symptoms, they just catch it and become asymptomatic.

I had a friend who literally had one pox mark on her back as her "chicken pox" then just mild fever. She's gone on to have children who did come down with classic chicken pox presentation, she didn't catch it as she was immune.

My parents couldn’t remember me ever having CP but when I was pregnant I had a blood test which showed I had immunity so your DH may well be immune already. I’d suggest he tries to get a blood test to see.

Book him a CP vaccine? My husband never had it as a child either so once we had kids and knew he might be exposed we paid for a jab. I think it protects from day 1 but the pharmacist could advise.

Anyone is at risk of shingles. Previous case of chickenpox does NOT remove the risk of shingles.

I'm in Germany. There is a public information campaign about shingles. It states that if you have had chicken pox you are more liable for shingles and speak to your doctor about getting an innoculation

Nope. I know someone who's lost his hearing due to getting chickenpox as an adult (in one ear).

But the incubation period is 2-3 weeks, not days.

Have you asked your dh what he'd like to do? He may prefer not to risk it as cp is nasty in adults or he may be happy to risk it. I think the ultimate decision is with him.
Sorry your little one is poorly x

But the NHS says you can only spread it from 2 days before the spots appear.

Not yet, I won’t be able to speak to him until tonight and I wanted to know what we were dealing with first.

The incubation period is the time from exposure to the virus to the spots appearing. This is 10days to 3 weeks. It is most infective to others 1-2 days before the spots appear.

So you son wouldn't have been at his most infective on Sunday - likely Monday or Tuesday but given how serious it can be in adults and that he can't afford to be off work I'd not be taking the risk.

There is normally 7-14 days between exposure and spots appearing. Patient is infectious for 2-3 days before spots appear until the last spots scab over.

Thank you. I guess he’s caught it at a baby group. It doesn’t really matter, I’m just glad DH will have missed the most infectious period.

Your DS will still be infectious until all the spots scab over. Spots normally appear in batches over several days.

I’ll encourage DH to stay at his mum’s if it seems like it is CP. Hopefully spots will have all crusted over by next Friday.

Chicken Pox never leaves the body and manifests as Shingles in later life. It's really horrible. I've had it off and on since I was 40. When I was a kid people had chicken pox parties because they had no idea that it hangs around forever and pops up when you are ill, weak or old. Not worth the risk.

My DS1 is now father of two. He never had CP as a child, didn’t catch it when his younger brother had it, didn’t catch it when both of his own children had it. We assumed that like any virus it you can catch it and be asymptomatic and we think that must be the case with him 🤷‍♀️.

You just don't know whether he has had it or not. I didn't have any history of having had it not as an adult I've had shingles so I must have had chicken pox just mild enough that my parents didn't notice. So really it is about the balance of risk. If he didn't work away then he would have been at home of course and exposed but that doesn't mean it is right to expose him now. Your call really.

I caught it from my mum as an adult and we both had it really badly I just wouldn’t risk it. Mum was nearly hospitalised and i was nearly as bad

I was exposed to cp many times as a child and didn't get it. I did finally get it when I was 27. I was very ill.

I think this is the right decision. I haven't had CP, although my brother had it and shingles. I would go out of my way to avoid being exposed to it.

I’m really hoping the spots will have gone and it’s not CP. We could all do with a weekend together. It’s been a lesson and I’m going to encourage DH to be vaccinated. I looked up an antibody test but it’s nearly as expensive as the vaccine so makes sense to just be vaccinated.