Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Please help me teach my 6yo to swim

99 replies

Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:18

Just that really. I'm in despair over DS's (6, Y2) swimming abilities. He's had lessons for over a year now and has made exactly 0 progress. All the other kids he started lessons with have moved to the next group and he is still in a class with tiny 4 and 5 year olds, all of whom are now better than he is. He doesn't go at school but aside from his lessons I go with him myself at least once a week. He likes splashing about in the water but he cannot swim - like, at all. He cannot keep his bum up and his legs sink, and the main reason for this is the fact he point blank refuses to put his face in the water - he holds his head up so high it makes the rest of him sink. He simply will not do it. He won't do it for bribery, as part of a competition, with peers, anything. He has a real thing about his ears and his nose in the water, pretty sure it is a sensory thing but nothing I do is helping. He will not even put his nose in to blow bubbles. We have tried swimming both with floating aids and without.

What can I do? What techniques can I try? I don't need him to be an amazing swimmer but I do need him to be able to keep himself afloat and be able to put his head under! We did a weeks holiday recently where he was in the pool every day and it made no difference.

OP posts:
FlounderingFruitcake · 26/01/2023 11:21

1:1 swim lessons? Expensive but it doesn’t have to be forever, if you can afford them for even a term they can hopefully get him to the point of not sinking and you can go back the group ones.

FlounderingFruitcake · 26/01/2023 11:23

Also re the ears and nose- you can get wax ear plugs, I remember having to have them as a kid after grommet surgery for glue ear, and what about a nose clip?

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:25

We've tried them! It made no difference unfortunately. If anything he was worse in the 1:1 lessons. He simply refuses to put his head under.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development General sports
DollyTots · 26/01/2023 11:25

Following with interest as my DD6 is exactly the same. It’s so heartbreaking to see them try but not be able to improve with it. I think I’m going to have to try and get her some 1:1 lessons, it’ll be expensive but worth it if it works!

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:27

It drives me mad. I was such a water baby as a child. On holiday this week there were tiny toddlers leaping gleefully into the pool and coming down massive slides. He wouldn't even come down the slide in the BABY pool.

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/01/2023 11:31

What flotation aids have you used?

DD hated armbands, the pool noodle was the best for her either wrapped around her chest with the ends poking up or tied in a knot and held out in front of her like bike handles (in the lesson they made it a game making vroom vroom noises and racing across the pool).

Getting face wet is essential though and something need to get used to if they are ever going to progress, in her lessons they had to go under an arch made by holding up the pool noodle at a height where their chin, then t mouth, then mouth and nose and so on would go under water) had a little watering can they used to water the kids and make them grow (jump up)

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:32

Pool noodles, floats, vests, armbands - you name it we have done it. He just can't stay afloat because he keeps his head up so high.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:33

He is alright with getting his face wet- as long as his goggles are on he's happy to be splashed and so on - but he won't put any part of his face actually under the water. Without that he won't ever swim. I keep telling him that.

OP posts:
DollyTots · 26/01/2023 11:34

Saying that, we went on a holiday to centre parcs and she was so desperate to do the water slides, which can only be accessed by going up a boat frame where you get drenched with water. I clearly told her, her face will get wet, put her goggles on and she duly accepted it and enjoyed going on the flumes for hours. It’s worth it to her for that but not to swim it seems…

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:35

DollyTots · 26/01/2023 11:34

Saying that, we went on a holiday to centre parcs and she was so desperate to do the water slides, which can only be accessed by going up a boat frame where you get drenched with water. I clearly told her, her face will get wet, put her goggles on and she duly accepted it and enjoyed going on the flumes for hours. It’s worth it to her for that but not to swim it seems…

He absolutely refused to go on any of the slides at center parcs, despite all his cousins (some younger than him) doing them.

OP posts:
Rowthe · 26/01/2023 11:38

Yeah mine was very similar.

Hates water on her face.

Had lesson for nearly 2.5 years. Lots of people going past her into the next groups.

Now no lessons cos of waiting lists.

She really regrets what happened.

She is 8 can swim a little but not confident. She is now keen to try as she sees her younger sister enjoying the lessons and doing so well.

Shes even asking me to book her lessons or swimming sessions.

I think the key is- your child has to want to learn, is the motivation there?

Now that she wants to learn, when the weather is a little better we will start swim sessions again and I'm hoping she will get much more out of it.

ManchesterGirl2 · 26/01/2023 11:38

As another water baby myself, I wonder if you should just leave it for a year or two. He hates the feeling, and at his age its harder to see the big picture to overcome the sensory dislike. This isn't a "teaching" problem.

Essentially, due to his sensory issues, he doesn't like swimming. I'd not turn it into a battle, but take the pressure off for a while, and spend the swimming lesson money on something more fun.

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:38

I even told him if he would put his face under I would take him to the lego shop and let him choose something. Nope. When I tell him how important it is to swim he says "no it isn't because I just won't go on a boat".

I will try the nose and ear plugs.

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 26/01/2023 11:38

From experience, my own children pay less attention to me than they do a teacher or coach. You'd be better off finishing a 1:1 teacher who has more training and skills in this area

BoozeHound · 26/01/2023 11:39

A paddling pool was the key to getting my ds to float. He spent a few days in it during the summer and was floating by the end, I think cos it’s not deep at all he was lulled into thinking he wasn’t really floating. Since then he’s had lessons at school and come on loads. He’s 8.
your ds is still little, he’ll get there. Keep going for fun but maybe pause lessons for a bit to take the pressure off. Will he get his face wet in the shower?

DollyTots · 26/01/2023 11:40

Sorry to hear that, I have no idea how you convince them when they have such an aversion. My DD used to stand in front of a sprinkler and get soaked as a toddler, then the pandemic hit and this sudden fear of water on the face appeared out of nowhere. Will he do a slip n’ slide in the garden (in warmer weather obviously) and water bomb play? Could be a gentle way of just getting him in his own time to negotiate the water. How does he react if he does happen to get his face wet?

BoozeHound · 26/01/2023 11:41

I really would back off a bit, if he’s adamant he won’t do it then bribery etc will just make him feel more stressed.

OwwwMuuuum · 26/01/2023 11:41

Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:33

He is alright with getting his face wet- as long as his goggles are on he's happy to be splashed and so on - but he won't put any part of his face actually under the water. Without that he won't ever swim. I keep telling him that.

Try some positivity? “One day you will feel ready to do this” is better than “you won’t ever swim without this”

Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:42

Glittertwins · 26/01/2023 11:38

From experience, my own children pay less attention to me than they do a teacher or coach. You'd be better off finishing a 1:1 teacher who has more training and skills in this area

Unfortunately we've tried this and it didn't make a difference.

I'm afraid if we leave it we will have missed the boat completely. I know too many adults who can't swim.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:43

OwwwMuuuum · 26/01/2023 11:41

Try some positivity? “One day you will feel ready to do this” is better than “you won’t ever swim without this”

Show quote history

Yep, been there. I get "no I won't because I'm not ever going to go on a boat". He is a stubborn wee thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:45

DollyTots · 26/01/2023 11:40

Sorry to hear that, I have no idea how you convince them when they have such an aversion. My DD used to stand in front of a sprinkler and get soaked as a toddler, then the pandemic hit and this sudden fear of water on the face appeared out of nowhere. Will he do a slip n’ slide in the garden (in warmer weather obviously) and water bomb play? Could be a gentle way of just getting him in his own time to negotiate the water. How does he react if he does happen to get his face wet?

He will get his face wet, he is just afraid of having it submerged - that's why he won't go down a slide. Although saying that he doesn't really like slides full stop - he hates things like ninja warrior which all his peers love.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusplanes · 26/01/2023 11:45

BoozeHound · 26/01/2023 11:39

A paddling pool was the key to getting my ds to float. He spent a few days in it during the summer and was floating by the end, I think cos it’s not deep at all he was lulled into thinking he wasn’t really floating. Since then he’s had lessons at school and come on loads. He’s 8.
your ds is still little, he’ll get there. Keep going for fun but maybe pause lessons for a bit to take the pressure off. Will he get his face wet in the shower?

He refuses to have a shower. Still has a bath for that reason.

OP posts:
TiddleyWink · 26/01/2023 11:46

I understand why you’re frustrated but I think you need to back off. Take him out of lessons for now and stop going swimming. Keep him away from potentially dangerous situations even if it means he misses out. Try again when he’s a bit bigger.

Swimming is an important skill of course but it’s not worth causing your child distress and undermining his confidence constantly. Kids are all different, so what if yours is the one that can’t swim for a bit longer? Build him up, praise him for trying for so long and then just back off on it for a bit.

FlounderingFruitcake · 26/01/2023 11:46

Could you go back to 1:1 and try to find a sympathetic instructor that will forget the swimming stages and focus on staying afloat with no pressure to get his face wet? I know correct technique is important but in this case getting him swimming any way you can is more important and obviously it is possible to swim with your head up, even if it is a bit middle aged woman 😂

Eixample · 26/01/2023 11:47

If he can’t put his head under nothing else about swimming will work and there is no point pushing it. My son had an aversion aged three, we stopped all swimming for a year, and then restarted and it was fine. But I don’t think that will work for a 6 year old. I think you will need to unpack the fear and then go back to the swimming.

Swipe left for the next trending thread