Wanting reassurance for DC10 starting ADHD medication 🙏

[Return2thebasic]

Hello!

After so many years coping with his ADHD symptoms (diagnosed last November), we are going to try stimulants after all. Just paid the prescription and might start this weekend.

I'm really nervous about it. Two things:

One is that after all, it's a drug which affects his brain and his body - I just feel awful having to come to this especially the gene was inherited from my side. Utterly guilty and nervous. Will he be fine taking the medication? How much it would affect him negativity (his appetite, his heart and everything)? I know each person react differently, but the fear of something goes wrong is there.

The other one is that can stimulants really work on him and provide the right help? By how much? In the past few months, he's gotten worse in terms of forgetfulness and self-care. I literally have to remind him everything for 3 times and he still can forget about it. Been doing 11+ too. The frustration, the tension, the tears (both from him and me) got to the level that I just feel I can't carry on doing it anymore. I know it's really not realistic to hope the drug would fix it with magic, but what if it doesn't work on him at all?

Sorry for so much mumbling. I'm just really wanting to let this out. If anyone could have some reassuring words to offer, I'd be really grateful...

(Posted it because it's just too quiet in SEN). But if HQ feels this needs to be moved over, please do so.)

@cantba , glad it helped your daughter. At that age, she must be really self conscious. So at that level, at least she can keep self esteem intact when she grows into a young adult.

Social side is a give... Mine just talks and jokes non stop and he can only befriend with someone similar, because other kids just can't stand him.

I do what I always do with these threads, and read it to my child who has been on ADHD meds for nearly 20 years now (Ritalin and Concerta). They do what they always do when I read these threads to them - look at me, roll their eyes and ask me why I indulge these websites🤣.

Essentially, ADHD meds have allowed my (adult) child to have friends, play team sports, do very well at school, do very well at uni and in a job subsequently, and be happy in themselves. Why I’d kick myself for that I don’t know.

Sure, it affects appetite, but so what. My child was always under the 3% percentile for weight while being in the 90% for height BEFORE going on ADHD meds. Was the same after ADHD meds. That’s fine. They may have been/still are ‘skeletal’ but they have always been healthy and have plenty of energy. It just took them longer to bounce back if they ever caught gastro etc (rare as they were always super healthy).

They have been on the same dose (highest) that works for 13 years now. They have not become intolerant, and it has not become ineffective.

Most of their friendship group are on ADHD meds (like attracts like). No issues, all happy and functioning very well in regards to ADHD.

Should add my child has been on 7 days for most of this time. At first we tried weekends off but they hated it as ‘my head doesn’t work properly’ on the days they didn’t have it. Their developmental paediatrician agreed completely and likened it to someone wearing glasses - if you tell them they are not allowed glasses on weekends they are not going to be happy as you have essentially disabled them. Same thing.

DS also went on ADHD meds aged just under 10. One thing the psychiatrist was very clear on was that the meds don't 'stay in the system' or build up in any way over time, so if you're worried about that at all, don't be. They will monitor carefull to see how your DC is feeling and doing on them and they can and will adjust if they're not working.

It's been over 2 years for DS and we adjusted up a dose after a few months as he was 'running out of steam' before the end of the school day. But it definitely seemed to make a difference in school, and during lockdown periods we noticed he was much more capable of doing work after taking meds. He says he doesn't feel any difference in himself while taking them and we can't see any difference other than a greater ability to focus. It shouldn't change your child's personality. We were quite worried about how he'd cope with secondary school but I think the meds, along with some maturing, have been a massive help and to our relief there haven't been any detentions for forgotten equipment etc as we were sure there would be! He is on equasym, BTW.

We also keep an eye on his height and weight as his meds can surpress appetite, but he seems to be growing at an acceptable rate still.

@HoppingPavlova , thanks for sharing. It sounds the med works really well on your DC. He's one of the lucky ones.

It's proven some works on some, whilst some doesn't. I'm aware that until we try, nobody knows.

Maybe because I have ADHD too, my brain runs down the path before the whistle blows. I just want to be well informed and equipped to know what we might face and how to cope. Maybe it's a way to manage my anxiety, I find with the huge responsibility comes with parenting, I would prefer to make informed decisions and look out for my DC with my best possible efforts.

Thanks for sharing. I will bare in mind, if a break doesn't work for him, I shall not hesitate to talk to the psychiatrist for advice if all 7 days or not.

Again, really pleased for your DC that it worked!

DS doesn't take it at weekends or holidays, although we have lower dose ones for when he has lots of homework (or for things like Scout camp where a bit more attention might be in order) - I think this was his idea. One thing we do is to always listen to his input on what level of meds he wants to take when changing doses etc, and a couple of times we altered what Dr suggested because it was DS's preference to do it that way and Dr was totally on board with that.

Sorry, I don't remember exactly when it showed up. In hindsight I think the dose was probably too high, at a lower level the cost:benefit ratio might have been more in the right direction.

As a fully grown adult I get by best with half the dose I was given as a child.

I think just be cautious with it rather than expecting it to be a cure all. It could work, but that will mean you get the pros outweighing the cons for him not that it's cost free, if you get me.

I find with the huge responsibility comes with parenting, I would prefer to make informed decisions and look out for my DC with my best possible efforts.

Sure. Absolutely. No other parent does that, so guess it’s worth specifying. I and many others just didn’t bother giving a fuck thinking about it really I guess. Will leave that there and exit thread at this point as never know why I bother with these.

I’m a clinician myself and would be pretty confounded if parents denied their kids anti-seizure meds, asthma preventers/relievers, antibiotics, diabetic meds etc. All medicines have benefit/risks but are for medical conditions where this has been assessed for n prescription (and if things are unsuitable they are then reassessed clinically). Have never understood why ADHD meds are called considered differently by parents. But I’ve come across the complete spectrum in my dealings with people over the years so never surprised any more honestly.

Have you ever taken adhd medication? You'd understand if so.

I have 2 sons both unfortunately diagnosed with ADHD. When consultant offered oldest son medication we refused as worried about grout, weight loss etc. Eventually he had to have it at 12 as could not sit still or focus at school. After half a term he got moved up from lower middle maths set to higher middle set. The following year he got moved up to top set. It made me wonder if not giving him medication when he was 9 had held him back academically. He did not do as well as I think reflected his ability in GCSEs. When younger son was offered medication at 8 we agreed straight away. He moved up to top sets and achieved well in GCSEs and A Levels. Older son left school after GCSEs and is now a class 1 lorry driver. He likes it as he is driving all over the place and no 2 days are the same. My dgs has also been diagnosed recently with ADHD and is medicated lightly at 7. He went up to higher Maths and his reading shot up once on medication. I never medicated in school holidays or weekends to allow normal growth.

I also agree with listening to the child.

My DS doesn’t take it at weekends - he does a lot of football at a relatively high level and he likes to be unmedicated for that as it holds his focus and he thinks he plays better without it ( who knows! I suspect it’s a hyper focus for him so maybe he does). It does mean I miss out on the benefits of him being on the meds. For him it hasn’t just been academic it’s also allowed him to control his behaviours better and fit in more at school. Something that has lessened his anxiety.

I know many other children though who take medication 7 days a week with no issues at all - I have always been advised that a break isn’t needed. It can occasionally be suggested if issues with height/weight occur - but again none of the kids I know have needed a break.

My DS has never eaten much and he still
seeks to be OK for height and weight even on the meds.

Yes you can do that, that’s different way and yea it’s very expensive

the one I’m referring to, will potentially show which genes are responsible for transporting the dopamine too fast out of the brain . If he has this problem then Medikinet (for example) is great, because it addresses specifically this issue!

there is a category of adhd kids who have too much dopamine (the opposite of what people think Adhd is); sadly some of these meds won’t help, they ll just increase even more the dopamine in the area of the brain which has already so much of this neurotransmitter, causing primarily aggression

if this is a bit too complex to process , perhaps ignore, you probably don’t need this now… how much did he quote you for?

@LoveMyADHD , very interesting! Will PM you.

I was diagnosed aged 33. I've been on medication for 18 months..it took 6 months to get the right dosage. I would never be without my meds now. I wish I was diagnosed aged 10.

My son takes Equasyum xl he was originally on mediniket which just did not agree for some reason, tummy aches, nausea etc and he just ‘didn’t feel like himself’ so he refused to take them. Went back to specialist and talked to him about alternatives and spoke to my son who commenced the Equssyum and he’s been great so far possibly needs a dose increased and doesn’t take on home days.

I made an informed decision to put him on meds, he also has asd so it’s a balancing act however my son is doing better. He feels better and he takes his meds, it’s not a magic cure but if it helps him live his life and cope better with school etc without nasty side effects then it’s great. He’s monitored closely, bp etc done regularly and followed up. It’s not something you do lightly and research needs to be done, discussion with dr or nurse to find the meds which will work best, as we found out one isn’t always as effective as another but the team are supportive and helpful re my son which helps.

For those asking yes it was adhd diagnosed and those were the drugs prescribed (not in UK, AU and US).