Period pain teen- wants to skip school

[RoaRoaRasputin]

My teen wants to skip school for 2nd day in a row. What do I do??

Give her some pain killers now and some more for later and say she has to go in, she'll be better off if she keeps distracted?
She can't miss 2 days every month.

I've had periods so bad I couldn't get out of bed without vomiting or fainting - so I couldn't go to school even if I wanted to - and that's with painkillers and tablets from the GP.

If her periods are really bad then I would be inclined to give her the day off on the condition that she sees the doctor to try and get as much help as possible.

Do you think she is putting it on or in a lot of pain? Or is she embarrassed about flooding? Sometimes some gentle encouragement and ibuprofen is needed but if she is really suffering then it's worth having a chat with the gp about options to reduce pain/flooding or test for anaemia etc.

I had excruciating periods as a teen. For women who don't have bad periods it's hard to understand. Prescription medication helped a lot. I went to school usually on the really bad days but a few times I got sent home. Maybe ask her to see how she feels after lunch and send her in with painkillers.

Context?

A bit of pain or can't walk almost spewing in pain?

Poor girl,my teenage years were similar.

I think seeking help is a good idea if you haven’t.

I discovered in my 30’s that a daily supplement of Starflower Oil made a massive difference to the pain and I could cope with just paracetamol then. It didn’t help with the heaviness but was amazing for the pain/vomiting/squits etc!

As a teen my periods were truly awful, I would vomit and faint and cry curled up a ball shaking. I know it sounds dramatic but truly, when I had ds I realised that the pain was the same as up to transition in labour. In fact I laboured at home to 8 cm thinking it was going to get much worse, as what I felt was the same as my teen periods. So please believe her if she is saying she is in agony. My mum didn’t.

I had horrible periods in my teens - pain, vomiting, everything. I'm glad my mum didn't consider my necessary sick days as "skipping school"

I got a prescription for mefenamic acid which helped enormously.

My period pains as a teen and young adult were the pain level of 50% of birthing a 10lb baby with no pain relief. Don’t base it on the ‘reason’ base it on her level of pain. Then take her to the doctor and insist on proper pain relief.

Snap!

If this level of pain is a regular occurrence she needs to see a doctor, possible for referral, especially if there is endometriosis in the family. She may benefit from hormonal or other treatment to reduce symptoms and bleeding.

If its a one off and there are no other worries about school etc I'd let it go. Most women get the odd very bad month. Is she new to periods and worried about managing or more established and just having a bad month?

It depends. I had periods which were so bad, I fainted on a regular basis and bled through a lot.
DD has a really bad first day, but so far with painkillers she manages but is out for the count as soon as she is home. Luckily she mainly gets it at the weekend, so it normally works.

I had a friend at school who was a bit of a drama queen about her periods and in the end actually was teased about it, 2-3 days off once a month starts to become a joke between peers. I knew her very well, she was my best friend, it was definitely a case of max painkillers, nothing more. But she felt a bit entitled to moan about it and her mum happily encouraged her as well.

I couldn't encourage her to go. It's quite difficult as I have to go on what she says. She says pills don't help. I don't know of that true or she is being dismissive, or both.

I am embarrassed I am being too soft, worried about her missing school (yr 9) but also know how painful it can be.

I will book a GP appt so this doesn't carry on. Though will have to take time off from work for that.

Unless you know her to be a bit of a drama queen about things then please support her. As others have said too, my mother didn't and it was awful. So much pain, so much blood, so much fear and embarrassment. My mother believed (and still does) that knocking back a paracetamol is the cure for everything but it did nothing for me at all (at that time we didn't know I have EDS and paracetamol has no effect on me, nor do certain anaesthetics). The only thing to really solve the problem in the end was the pill. Frankly it's pointless to force her to go in if she is suffering like that. On those days I got nothing done and didn't take in any information at all. All I did was build up more and more of a complex about how to avoid flooding at school and crying from pain. I was battling so hard just to hold myself together that education didn't get a look in.

GP appointment sounds a good way to go.
if her periods are heavy she could try tranexamic(sp?) acid, or go on the pill which will lighten them, but more importantly give her control on their timing which could be very helpful going forward to avoid exams, holidays etc.

I would let her have the day off, but I'd book a GP appt and I'd also be checking with the school what their policy about loo visits in class is. If their policy is a flat no (it is in some schools, even dimwitted girls schools round here) then there could be an element of difficulty/embarrassment about changing sanitary protection she is trying to avoid. I'd also ask her if she's had any issues with that at school.

If she’s generally truthful I would let her decide, with plans to address the situation by next month.
Period pain can be on the same level as heart attack pain, which is possibly a reason why many women don’t realise they are having the latter.

Oh god I had bad periods as a teen and I remember vividly how horrible it was to be in school with excruciating pains when all you want is to be in bed with a hot water bottle. I agree with others if she is generally honest I would give her the benefit of the doubt.

I'm another one who had dreadful painful periods and my mother was a stoic type, who didn’t understand that paracetamol didn't touch the sides.
The pain went all down my legs as well. Not to mention feeling faint, vomiting, flooding. Nightmare. Not conducive to school, work or normal life generally.
I had exactly the same experience of first stage labour pains as mentioned above, “is this all?”
This lasted until the menopause for me, apart from the blessed years when I was on the pill. I used to have the first day off work most months, with the consent of management, as they had seen me in the throes.
if I knew more then, I would have gone to the GP for help or endometriosis investigation.
If this is the situation with your daughter, she has my sympathy and do please support her.

I used to get terrible pain and diarrhea on the second day of my period when I was a teenager. It was a nightmare at school, especially as I couldn't just run off to the loo. My mum wouldn't let me stay at home and I really don't know why she sent me as I didn't learn anything anyway! If I still had periods like that now I honestly don't know how I would manage going to work.

Give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe take her to the GP if it carries on. Looking back I strongly suspect I was suffering from anaemia.

I had dreadful period pain all my life, and always missed at least one day of school a month.

Does the painkiller she takes contain codeine? Perhaps your daughter is one of the unlucky ones for whom this has no effect (it's a genetic thing - she may lack an enzyme that can metabolise it). Please take what she is saying seriously and I agree a trip to see a GP is the best course of action.

My daughter had periods so painful at 14 that once she was hospitalised and they almost took her appendix out. She had terrible hormonal rages with them and migraines but the abdominal pain was on another level. Definitely get her to a doctor.

My experience is that I have to start to take painkillers before my period is due for them to make a difference - so if she's only taking them once she has pain, she's probably right that they don't help much

If her periods are regular she should start taking ibuprofen 24-48 hours before she's due to begin and regularly through her period.

A prescription for tranexamic acid will probably help a lot as well.

I‘m another one who used to pass out - thankfully my mum was the same as a teenager so understood. I never did grow out of it either - I had a hiatus for a few years after having DS but the terrible pains came back before Christmas and I ended up on the floor again. Now waiting for a coil to see if that helps. Period pain can be horrific, please do get her to see the GP as there are things that can be done. I was on the pill for years from the age of about 15 and it worked wonderfully, until I developed migraines with auras and had to stop taking it. It gave me my life back, if that’s not too dramatic - no more fear of passing out in public with all the attendant fuss.

Just to add - I didn’t comment about my mum understanding as a dig at you, op. Reread my comment and realised it could come across as one, but it wasn’t. I think it can be hard to understand how awful it can be if you yourself haven’t experienced it.