How to Speak about Men and be Politically Correct
He does not have a BEER GUT -He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants, It's REAR CLEAVAGE