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Original poster

Long arse commute / good job

32 replies

Jobdistance · 25/01/2023 17:10

NC as past posts outing.

have been offered a new role, salary very good, job strong future prospects.

majority wfh, 1/2 days a week would need to be in office miles away (think London to Manchester) Offered company car but would prefer train.

partner could be at home on days/ eves am in office to be there for kids / house stuff

wwyd.

OP posts:
ARoughRide · 25/01/2023 17:11

What time would you have to leave the house am & get back pm?

mackthepony · 25/01/2023 17:13

What's your work status at the minute? Wfh? Good money? Easy team etc?

Original poster
Jobdistance · 25/01/2023 17:16

Sorry, didn’t mean to dripfeed

current FT, in 3/4 days a week out by 8, home by 7
new one realistically out by 5.30, home by 9

salary almost double at new one

much more senior job/prospects

OP posts:
limerentidiot · 25/01/2023 17:18

I am about to start the same. Career change, not even good money to start with, but great prospects. Commute is about 2.5 hours door to door, half driving, half train. I will be doing it two days a week. I will leave the house about 6:30 and get back about 7:45. Any more than two days and I wouldn't cope with the commute but it's what I need to do for now.

limerentidiot · 25/01/2023 17:19

I would go for it, @Jobdistance. What will your hours be on the wfh days?

SwedishEdith · 25/01/2023 17:19

How much will the commute cost you?

chinny421 · 25/01/2023 17:23

Could you do two days in the office back to back but stay down there?

CheshireSplat · 25/01/2023 17:24

Are the two days consecutive? Is so, could you stay down and do some extra hours to allow more school run time on the WFH days. It would also save money on the trains.

If it is Manchester to London, I'm sure you know the trains are awful. I do that every 2 or 3 weeks and they are never on time, so I stay down. You could be late into the office a lot if you are coming down each day.

Can you plan ahead as ticket prices are much better in advance?

Original poster
Jobdistance · 26/01/2023 06:54

Thanks all.

i can choose the two days. So maybe staying one night makes sense.

the commute costs are a small percent of salary so worth doing financially.

is the time element/ being away from dc that I’m struggling with

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 26/01/2023 07:01

If by train and you can choose the days, seems manageable. You would need to think carefully which two, and your DCs activities might guide this in some way. Example, if DD is in Brownies, your DH has a small amount of time to himself whilst you are away.

Setyoufree · 26/01/2023 07:12

Id do it and consider staying over that 1 night to do 2 in a row. But you need to be very sure they mean it when they say 1 or 2 days in the office is fine. Is it still fine if you're promoted?

eyope · 26/01/2023 07:21

Honestly, I've done 2 jobs like this with hideous commutes (2 hrs +) both ways, because money and career prospects were great - and it burnt me out.

It's exhausting, but also if the company starts requiring you to come in more frequently (whether a contract change) or for ad hoc meetings, it's very stressful. If there's transport problems or road blocks, it's stressful. The lack of sleep and time is stressful. I've seen it done normally with parents who have much older kids - 16/17, but if kids are younger - it's quite a drain.

I'd only do it if you think you'll be able to leave after a year, with it on your CV and find something closer. If it's a long term prospect, I'd be more wary. Promotions can depend on willingness to come in more frequently too, something to consider.

Most importantly ensure contract definitely says 2-3 days a week and it's not left upto manager discretion.

rwalker · 26/01/2023 07:24

Do it I used to do 1 1/2 in train each way 3 times a month
loved it book i player me time

eyope · 26/01/2023 07:26

Also even though companies say you can choose days, it will depend on when your team is in or stakeholders in or when your boss is in etc. Or if there's important meetings/workshops - because contract don't specify days and ultimately it will be the option that allows you to do your job best. If your work involves team working then you'll need to consider it e.g if they all come in on Thu as a common day, it won't look good if you choose Mon and Tue.

Ladyfird · 26/01/2023 07:29

I would get it in your contract that it's 1 to 2 days a week in office, otherwise they can change that and you'll be either very miserable and tired or have to leave which would be a pain. I work with a fair few people who have long commutes now we are hybrid, they all do 2 days in a row and stay in a hotel overnight; it's not for everyone but probably more manageable than a commute of a few hours both before and after work. I used to commute 5 days a week before children and it was all consuming really, I would only do it if the job was exceptional and there were no alternatives more local.

It's doable but how much you'll find you enjoy/cope with it depends.

Oblomov22 · 26/01/2023 07:31

One night away from dc is fine. A quick video call, no problem.

Roselilly36 · 26/01/2023 07:33

Trains can be unreliable, strikes etc even if it’s just a couple of days a week, you will soon dread the journeys, you will be late home if everything runs to time, if it doesn’t, trains cancelled etc. Unless you are prepared to stay in London one of the nights, would that be doable? That would make the commute more manageable.

Only you can decide if the career & salary enhancement will improve your family’s life vs the trade off. Personally I wouldn’t do it, mums I know that stay away a fair bit for work, say their kids hate it, and it makes them feel guilty, difficult situation to be in.

Good luck with whatever you decide OP.

redpinkyellow · 26/01/2023 07:33

How does your other half feel about it.

If it was my DH and he could do the days back to back and stay over, I'd be happy with that and could see the bigger picture of what the extra finances could do for our future in terms of the children and experiences we could have

frozendaisy · 26/01/2023 07:40

I would take the job and suck up 2 day commute. You can either doze or read on train.

Think of it as free time.

LindorDoubleChoc · 26/01/2023 07:42

The most important person to ask is your partner. You say they "could be at home" with the children when you are on these long commutes. Is that really feasible? What are their work hours?

It seems a less than ideal situation to me. Why doesn't the company recruit someone more local to them? You must be pretty unique!

LiverBurd · 26/01/2023 07:49

DH does similar- he does 2 consecutive office days so he can stay overnight and minimise travel.

Works well for us as a family- it helps that I work part time and from home so i'm usually not working on the days he's away.l or if I am working I can do drop offs and pick ups for the kids.

Beware the train though- many of his seem to be cancelled or delayed (Avanti - they are dreadful).

Doingmybest12 · 26/01/2023 08:05

What is you plan for your long term career? Or finance wise goal. If it is doable for the experience /a goal and it helps your plan I would be tempted for a limited period if children's dad at home . But if it isn't part of a bigger plan then I wouldn't consider it.

Pyewhacket · 26/01/2023 08:09

Difficult one. Trains are expensive and unreliable and that’s a long drive. I’d think long and hard about taking it.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 26/01/2023 08:12

What will happen if the trains aren't running? Will you be expected to drive down or could you work from home?

I would be inclined to take it if I could pick the days I worked in the office - train down early morning, work, stay in London, work then back home that evening.

If you're not getting home until 9pm anyway it makes more sense to stay over that night than to do all the extra travel, and the money you save will pay for a hotel and your meal.

Assuming DP could do all the childcare and school-nursery runs, of course.

cushioncovers · 26/01/2023 08:20

Nope I wouldn't do it.

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