Married in 2001.
Two Dc, (2004, 2007)
Both Autistic to the extent that I am their Carer & give them a lot of f/t support & am thus unable to work outside the house.
H & I have had problems for years. He moved into his own room in 2010 (kids & I 'disturbed his sleep' apparantly). He's never been very interested in family life - simply zones out for the hard bits (lots of hard bits). He suffers from anxiety & depression & periodically gets some help but is verbally aggressive (with me). When things dont suit him he walks out. He walked out permanantly 18m ago.
He began to pay some maintenance (previously his attitude was that his earnings were his & I could live on Carers allowance & my own PIP).
I have had a Separation agreement drawn up as a prelude to Divorce (I live in Scotland so this is financially legally binding). In it he agrees to 50% of his pension being moved to me (he was outraged at this!). He also agrees to transfer the house to me. This sounds great - except it has a big interest only mortgage on it that is due in 6 yrs & I have no vehicle to repay & there is no equity to speak of.
I guess I should go ahead & sign but I do feel resentful that the big chunk of his pension is about to kick in (he is 59, its a final salary scheme, local govt one & my 'share' of that stops 18m ago)
I will realistically be trying to support my young people both financially & emotionally for the rest of my life.
He isn't fussed about divorce (doesnt want to pay out any money)
He won't have more kids (infertile) or probably remarry (I was his 2nd marriage)
I don't want to remarry.
Do I Divorce now or leave it as it is & I will continue to stay on the pension (if he keeps his job that is, with his history of time off he might not)
I don't care either way emotionally - its what makes best £ sense that matters.
I appreciate that asking random people on MN is a bit silly but I am not sure why I am hesitating to sign the form. It is NOT any emotional bond, I think it's just I am so angry he has walked away from his (very real & very long term) responsibilities in the form of his two disabled kids. He hardly even sees them.