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Struggling mum of 6 year old and 10 week old.

6 replies

Cookiemonster83 · 25/01/2023 08:57

I’m really struggling at the moment trying to juggle my time. Evenings and mornings are just the worst. I’m finding myself getting frustrated and short with everyone which I don’t want to be.

I do all the night feeds, my partner is up at 5:30 each day so needs to sleep. In the morning my daughter who is 6 and half needs to get ready for school, she literally can’t do this by herself, she gets distracted etc so needs me constantly saying come on get dressed, etc your breakfast etc till I’m at breaking point the start shouting.

In the day time my baby will not be put down, for play for nappy for anything, after 1 seconds she is screaming until she is choking. So she is in the sling, I can do a lot but not everything so every morning for a bit she is sat in her bouncer screaming. It’s stressful and my bigger daughter is getting stressed with the crying, we all are. She has dummy, tries it all but she cries the moment she is down. I therefore find it hard to juggle the morning, brushing hair, teeth helping get dressed with her crying in the sling.

Evening is a repeat, she cries but I need to get my bigger daughter ready for bed and cook and try and find time to do reading etc. It’s getting me down and I’ve started crying.

My older daughter has a different dad. She won’t let my partner although we’ve been together for years help her get dressed or bath or anything, other then that they get on well.

By the time she has gone to school Im so stressed. I find it hard to get ready as the baby screams if I put her down. I keep telling myself it will get better but I’m feeling quite down and always stuck inside or rushing to get ready whilst listening to a screaming baby by which time I don’t feel like going out.

OP posts:
MasterCherry · 25/01/2023 09:12

Hi op, I don't really have any useful advice but just wanted to say hello. Trying to put an older one to bed while the baby cries is THE WORST, I hear you! And you definitely can't do everything normally with a baby on your front, and much as I love our sling, it does make my back ache after a while. My 5yo can get distracted by toys in the morning, so I find it really helps to lay out her clothes together the evening before - maybe you're doing that already.

I hope you get plenty of more helpful replies, but sending sympathy xx

Squiblet · 25/01/2023 09:15

Sorry you're finding it so hard, that does sound really tough.

My two DCs both improved massively at 11 weeks - much less crying, more willingness to chill out in the bouncer - so maybe you're on the verge of a breakthrough? Hang in there, it won't be like this for much longer. 💐

Cookiemonster83 · 25/01/2023 09:20

@MasterCherry all her clothes are led out and breakfast on the table but an hour later and we shouting and rushing as she isn’t doing anything. It’s so frustrating and I know she wants help to get dressed and I can’t. She is also I think big enough to get dressed, she will be 7 in a few months. I feel so guilty all the time, then get angry at everyone because I feel guilty.

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ForTheLoveOfGrace · 25/01/2023 09:45

OP I feel your pain. I have recently got these for my DD we have one for the morning and one for the evening (clothes out the night before, homework etc). I got her to write the lists with me so she is invested in it. She is tons better in the mornings and likes getting all her green ticks!!

Struggling mum of 6 year old and 10 week old.
pjani · 25/01/2023 09:50

I feel for you! I had two close together and I used to announce how old they were exactly to them each day as part of a mental countdown till I thought they would get easier (I didn’t tell them that bit). So I had 12 weeks in mind as a point at which things would get easier, and then 6 months.

And you know what? It did. And you’re only 2 weeks from 12 weeks!

One thing I noticed after a while is my baby was screaming to watch the older one so once I positioned her in the right way she would stop screaming.

Probably crap advice but know after half term, things will be different (and slightly better) than now. It’s just gritting your teeth and getting through this little bit.

Cookiemonster83 · 25/01/2023 10:24

I hope it gets easier. Little one has cows milk allergy so that’s really not helping at all and the wait list of the dietitian is ridiculous.

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