Why are men so unhappy at being single?

[Headaches]

I have a male friend (I’m female) known him since school. He has own home, good job, no kids, mid 40’s.
Hes had several long term relationships, every one after a few years either the GF gets sick of waiting for a proposal or for it to get serious or they get fed up of him and ends it.
The cycle starts again almost immediately then with a brief, intense grieving period but almost immediately he’s back looking for another relationship.
Ive told him to be happy being single for a while but he won’t.
Yet another GF has now broken up with him (she’s just grown out of love with him) and again he’s utterly devastated, can’t see a future without her, can’t go on etc but I guarantee within a few weeks he’ll be back on the prowl. Due to this desperation he’ll often get together with people who he really shouldn’t.
Its not that he’s looking for a cool and bottle washer - he lives alone but he just can’t be single.
Women on the other hand seem happy to be single and are comfortable with it. Why is this?

So all men are like your friend?

I dont think this is a gender specific thing.

Sex, not gender.

I do think that many men feel there is a stigma if they are single and that other men will see them as being impotent because they don’t have a partner whereas women are more supportive of single women.

I'm not sure it's specifically a sex thing OP.
Some people in general won't accept being single. Look how many women put up with terrible behaviour from men and even settle down and have kids with men who don't do anything around the house, and how many men won't leave an unhappy relationship until they're confident they've got another woman lined up.

Projecting a bit their OP!!

Grrrrr there

My kingdom, my kingdom for an edit button!

I know more women than men that are like that tbh.

Women on the other hand seem happy to be single and are comfortable with it.

That would be why "women" bounce from relationship to relationship, and have multiple kids by multiple partners.

Or we could accept that generalisations don't do anyone any favours.

It's because men are made of slugs and snails and puppy dogs' tails, whereas women are made of sugar and spice and all things nice.

Sex
companionship
friendship

all the reasons women want a partner

with men it’s also house hold being a home and better food etc

Your friend is a player. He uses women and gets rid as and when it suits. Not too sure why you can't see that for yourself? He is not a good man, wake up and see him for what he is.

I don’t think it’s sex specific either. Not even to the point of being able to generalise. I know both men and women who literally cannot live alone/not be in a relationship, and vice versa. I think it’s a type of extroversion tbh that is fairly even between sexes.

Some people would rather have a companion or sex buddy or both than be alone - whether that's a man or woman.

That said, I think it's more of a thing that a lot of women would rather be in a relationship compared to men.

I'm not sure how you have reasoned this man is a player. It sounds to me like the women are breaking up with him because he is not proposing etc but that does not make him a player surely. Then he is very down albeit for a short while and decides to give dating another chance. Many men and women take just that approach. As has been suggested this is not gender specific. Some people particularly enjoy and/or need the company and affection from a significant other. Does not make them a bad person.

Women on the other hand seem happy to be single and are comfortable with it

🤣

So your friend wants all the benefits of a relationship but none of the committment.

Ho hum.

I know way more single men than women

This. And there are women out there daft enough to put up with it.

Yes so he wants the perks of a relationship without the commitments and ties!

When did the definition of a player change? I must of missed it!!!!

This has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. Som people are happy single and others not.

As for your friend, like a pp said, he wants all the benefits of a relationship without the committment. He could have settled down...he has chosen not to.

Once men get used to being ‘looked after’ they find it much harder to revert back to looking after themselves than women do.

DH lived alone for 10 years before we met, but I’ve now cooked for him most evenings for 7 years (he washes up don’t worry 😉 ) and I’m not convinced if we split he would be able to revert back to cooking healthy meals for himself every day. He seems to have lost the knack of meal planning, and whenever I go out it’s always takeaway for him and DD has fish fingers and chips…

Equally I don’t think he’s changed the bedding for years (I do this) and I can’t remember the last time I did the bins or gardening etc

This. Maybe he hasn’t found the right person to settle down with, sure, but why does he string women along if he knows the relationship isn’t going to work long term? To answer my own question, some people (men or women) cannot bear to be alone, and put this need ahead of the feelings of the other person.

I think women are still socially pressured to feel they’re validated only when in a relationship in a way men aren’t (‘tragic spinster cat lady’ vs ‘lucky bachelor escaping the ball and chain’ etc), but historically men are generally not socialised to be able take responsibility for their own emotional or physical needs well, and often tend to suffer more when single, as they delegate a lot of emotional caretaking to women (not necessarily just partners, but often). Women tend to outgrow bending to the gendered pressure with age, I’m less sure men as a class get better at doing their own mental housekeeping, hence single male levels of unhappiness, leaping into relationships and male suicide rates.

Same thing.