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Nitpicking colleague

7 replies

itswednesdayy · 24/01/2023 08:46

How do you deal with one of these?

I have worked in my finance role for 2+ years, have similar work experience and a relevant degree. I’m 24 and have never been out of work.

My colleague has been in the same role for 5 months, prior to that took 5+ years off work to raise her kids as a single mum, and used to work in a bar. She’s 30. She is still learning the role and is inexperienced, but I really get the impression she thinks she’s better than me as she’s older than me.

She treats me awfully, ie has confronted me about “mistakes” in my work by approaching my desk and loudly/patronisingly asking me why I did something regardless of what I’m doing. She’s interrupted my meetings with colleagues both in person and over the phone like this. Turns out I didn’t make any mistakes, she just hasn’t read the guidance properly and jumped to conclusions.

She isn’t resilient, she always mentions her bar experience means she knows how to handle difficult situations but this isn’t the case. If she can’t handle something, she will be in a bad mood all day and loudly talk about people in earshot of them. Ie she will say to a member of the public “weird that Wednesday hasn’t done X, I’m so sorry for her incompetence” whilst I’m sat behind them. I didn’t need to do “X” and it’s unprofessional to say things like that to the public.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 24/01/2023 08:49

Have others noticed? She might be subconsciously slipping into 'mum role' with you.

Iwantabloodypizza · 24/01/2023 09:10

You tell them to stop. You tell them they are being rude and unprofessional. You complain to your manager.

Every single time. They get like this because no one calls them out on it.

Iwantabloodypizza · 24/01/2023 09:11

I have no tolerance though. I go to work to make money and that’s it. I don’t take poor treatment from anyone at work. Colleague, boss, who ever. No one gets to treat me poorly.

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Jericha · 24/01/2023 10:30

I had this many years ago when I was early 20s. Eventually I just went up to her desk when she was loudly moaning about something I'd done or not done to a colleague and I went along the lines of "I can hear you from 2 banks of desks away, so I'm assuming you'd like me involved in this convo etc" then I also equally loudly pointed out (politely but firmly) why she was talking shit, smiled sweetly and said next time to avoid involving everyone in the room unnecessarily come to me if you're not understanding something as I'm happy to help. She never did it again, and she was vile before that. It's just passive aggressiveness, their tail goes between their legs as soon as someone dares to address their un professionalism and rudeness.

itswednesdayy · 24/01/2023 11:06

Ugh what are people like this trying to achieve with being loud and wrong?

Just now she was loudly telling a member of the public the wrong information. I could hear her from the next row of desks. The people she were seeing were upset/not understanding the misinformation.

I sent her the right information over teams and sent her the link to guidance and she proceeded to argue with me on Teams😂 I know as soon as she sees no one is around me, she’s going to try and confront me. Silly sausage.

OP posts:
itswednesdayy · 24/01/2023 11:08

wizzywig · 24/01/2023 08:49

Have others noticed? She might be subconsciously slipping into 'mum role' with you.

Yes, we were supposed to go on a night out think bowling etc but with the friction no one has mentioned it

OP posts:
itswednesdayy · 24/01/2023 11:08

@Jericha that is a good approach thank you

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