Late 30's - starting to think I have ADHD. How helpful is a diagnosis?

[ZingyCosmo]

Hi,

So yes, I am 38 and have always felt a bit different, but up until recently didn't really attach it to anything.

Everything has always felt like a struggle. I don't tend to finish things unless they really interest me and that in itself is rare. I have awful anxiety and sporadic depression. I would say the anxiety can be crippling actually. I tend to hyper fixate on something, but then lose interest quite easily. It's not always like a movie or a song, but a very specific part. I can get a line or bar stuck in my head and go over it again and again and even though it drives me a little mad, I've come to the conclusion that I must get some kind of comfort from it.

I think I ruled out ADHD because one of the main symptoms is poor organisational skills and time keeping. Also being loud and inappropriate seems to be a common symptom. I'm not massively organised, but I can be reasonably so and I actually have good time management. Certainly not loud or inappropriate, but how important is that?

I have been stuck in a 2 decade rut, where I haven't really done anything with my life, through very low self esteem/belief, but I'm now starting to wonder if this could be why, although I was diagnosed with OCD in the form of dark, intrusive and repetitive thoughts. Not with germs, cleaning etc. I pinned it on that for a while, but now I'm not so sure.

This seems to be being spoken about a lot in the media recently, especially in women and how they usually present differently to boys/men - like with ASD I suppose and I do tend to think to myself, 'yep...yep...that's me'.

Has anyone got any personal experience of this? Would you mind sharing? Not really sure where to start tbh.

TIA

It’s taken me around five years to get to the point of wanting an assessment. I used to think what’s the point, it’s too late now, but I’ve been finding that the older I get, the harder it is to function. Plus, I really just need to know! I have an assessment booked for March.

@Jellycats4life can I ask what your main struggles are?

Things like executive function and working memory, mainly. I drive myself absolutely insane by losing a thing that I had in my hand five minutes previously, with no memory of what I’ve done. I feel like I spend most of my days in a state of overwhelm and paralysis, knowing I have a bunch of things to do but am seemingly stuck to the sofa. I lost the ability to read decades ago because I have zero focus. It’s like my eyes scan the words but my brain isn’t plugged in. Sometimes I start reading and my brain will start wandering halfway through the paragraph (but my eyes will still be scanning the lines).

I was going to mention something else but the thought evaporated out of my brain because I was still typing the last sentence. That’s another great example of what I’m like!

@Jellycats4life Yes! I'm exactly the same with reading. That's pretty much just how I describe it to people. Only been doing that recently though, as I felt kind of embarrassed before, but now it sort of helps.

Just giving this a bump

Giving this another hopeful bump, as it would be great to hear from those of you with experience with this.